Day 31: "Always check your candy."

I know some people who flip out over Christmas- people who get excited when the radio stations switch over to holiday music, when it's time to dig the decorations out of the attic, when Rankin-Bass takes over the TV. I get it. Christmas is cool...but come on, let's not pretend for even one minute that Halloween isn't the best. I get jazzed when TV stations show nothin' but the scary stuff, when haunted houses are open for business, when my grocery store has glow-in-the-dark skeletons for sale, and for that one night a year when everyone is a horror movie fan. Mind you, it doesn't feel the same as it did when I was eight- I mean, that's a big doy doy if I've ever written one- but still, once September turns to October, there's a vibe in the air that I adore...and once October turns to November, I get a little bummed. If there's ever been a movie that's captured that feeling, that air of macabre fun I associated with Halloween, it's Trick 'r Treat.

The film is an anthology of sorts, relaying four stories set on Halloween night in the small town of Warren Valley, Ohio- a place that pulls out all the stops when celebrating the holiday. Writer/director Michael Dougherty tells the tales in a fashion more akin to Pulp Fiction than to Creepshow; that is, the stories are interwoven into one narrative that jumps back and forth through time, rather than presented as separate segments. History and some familiar urban legends are explored, from razor blades in the candy to the roots of Samhain- and the film that results is the biggest celebration of October 31st since It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Trick 'r Treat is destined to become an annual viewing tradition, much like A Christmas Story is 'round December.

As a pure horror film, it's a bit uneven. It's not entirely scary and there are a few missteps (the climax of the 'party girls' storyline was a let down), but overall there's an exceptionally dark EC Comics tone that's fun and mean. The legend of the children who died on the schoolbus is a highlight, both horrifying and heartbreaking- man, the chubby kid in the bunny suit really got to me. Then there's Sam, the burlap sackheaded boy/monster who ties it all together...he could become a bonafide holiday icon, but I wish in the end we'd seen a little less of him.

The production design is amazing- despite the many instances of child murder, I sort of wish Warren Valley were a real place. It's my Halloween dream town. While it's not the scariest thing you'll see, Trick 'r Treat is perhaps a dream Halloween movie...undoubtedly it's a perfect way to bring SHOCKTOBER to a close.

Ugh, "to a close"! It's over already. I suppose by tomorrow afternoon, stores will take down the masks and put up the wreaths, and all the candy will be wrapped in red and green instead of orange and black. Guess that means I'll just have to stay inside, where the fake gravestones are always out, the wigs are always close at hand, and there are always horror movies playing ad nauseum.

watch the magic pumpkin!

Have a great Halloween, y'all!!

Web Snob October 30th

55 Secret Street weighs in on Newsweek’s Zahara Jolie Pitt hair controversy and wants to know, “Are We All Really “Team Zahara?”.

Stiletto Jungle thinks a wrap sweater you can wear 6 ways is perfect for fall.

All Lacquered Up takes you backstage at Carolina Herrera where made its runway debut.

Heidi & Spencer dress as Jon & Kate for Halloween – Allie is Wired has the pictures.

Bag Bliss loves the latest arm candy by Felix Rey.

If you are looking for just one all around great piece for the season or for the year, Bag Snob has it!

There is so much talk about lash enhancers, but what about the brows? Beauty Snob has the product.

The Daily Obsession shares a never published before beauty tip.

Fashion Pulse Daily has teamed up with Manhattanite to give away a Nip & Tuck Hollywood Basket, full of Foot Petals, Miss Oops, and Hollywood products!

The Jet Set Girls pick the best black nail polish for Vegas.

KRISTOPHER DUKES is wanting, wearing, and hating the Salvador Dali “Bird In Hand” compact.

Second City Style takes a look at Where The Wild Things Are on the runway and the real way.

From ankle height to over the knee, SheFinds has all the best flat boots to let you walk, run, and skip through fall in style and comfort.

Shopping and Info found the best black cashmere cowl neck sweater.

The StyleBakery.com editors share their Top 10 Picks for Fall, totaling over 100 must-buys for every budget

Stylehive is thinking the basic little black dress has been a bit too nice lately, and is loving black leather dresses for fall…

The Beauty Stop dishes about Reese Witherspoon’s beauty secrets.

The Shoe Goddess has fallen in love with this pair of amazing Azzedine Alaia Buckle Boots!

V-Style Loves Thakoon’s Mirror Mosaic Booties for fall.

awesome movie poster friday - the SHOCKTOBER PART 3 edition!

Wow, I can't believe SHOCKTOBER is winding down! Slim pickin's this week, for as you all know I had a spate of dookitastic movies, many of which don't even have posters. Thank Charles Nelson Reilly above for Splinter!

Day 30: "No flesh shall be spared."

Richard Stanley's 1990 sci fi/horror flick Hardware, has been considered a cult classic by many. Until recently, it'd only been available on VHS or an exceptionally cruddy DVD release; well, Severin has changed all that, giving Hardware to the masses on Blu-Ray as well as a deluxe 2-disc DVD for those of us still living the lo-res life. So, should said masses be excited about getting their mitts on this long-lost & beloved film?

Nuclear war has transformed the world into a radioactive desert wasteland, but glimpses of its former glory peek through: cabs still run, TV still plays, and people still have jobs. Moses Baxter (Dylan McDermott) has been out scavenging in the wastes when he comes across a super neato robot head. He brings it home to his artist girlfriend Jill (Stacey Travis), thinking she'll find a use for it. She welds it into a sculpture and all is well...but what neither she nor Moe knows is that the robot is a M.A.R.K. 13, a deadly military-grade bot that can reassemble itself. Soon the M.A.R.K. 13 is awake, complete, and ready to kill kill kill!

While Hardware's narrative is fairly thin and a bit slow to get rolling, it's still an enjoyable ride through that dystopian '80s-flavored future; I, for one, am glad that not even nuclear annihilation can apparently stop people from quipping "Take a chill pill!". The film certainly pales in comparison to its obvious cousins, Mad Max and The Terminator, but if one can overlook the shortcomings of plot and, at times, the performances, there's a lot to appreciate.

The visuals are really where Hardware shines. Stanley and cinematographer Steven Chivers have created a complete, if small, world. The production design is top notch; though the action is largely confined to Jill's apartment, there's always some new detail to take in, from package design to the retrotastic computer graphics.

Frame after frame is simply gorgeous. This is masterful low-budget filmmaking that's all too rare; I didn't care if the story was a bit anemic, I still dug looking at the purty pictures.



Of course, your results may vary, and that's the tricky thing about films considered "cult classics". Some folks are going to rejoice over discovering something so long hidden, while others are going to wonder what all the fuss was about in the first place. Then again, that's probably true of all movies to an extent- yes, I know, I'm particularly profound today- but when a movie is buried for decades only to be unleashed, at last, with some fanfare, expectations run high. Were Hardware's visuals not so delightful, honestly, I'm not sure how much people would be talking about it. It's got some novelty in terms of music and cameos from musicians (Lemmy as a cab driver, putting on Motorhead's "Ace of Spades"? Yes, please.), but the story is familiar and there are several films in this genre that are far superior.

Still, it ain't a bad way to spend 90 minutes- when are non-CGI killer robots ever truly a bad thing?

On Our Radar: Colorado

Our twitter friends are buzzing about Colorado's first big snow fall of the year. We couldn't be more excited for them. In fact, this week we started planning a ski trip for January. How did we start?

First asked ourselves, do we feel like flying international? We've skied in France, Switzerland and Austria. The major advantages include getting the Euro experience, skiing on slopes that are more natural, less groomed and eating great food. Once when we were in Davos, we stumbled upon a little chalet that served up the best spaghetti bolognese of our lives. How they got supplies to that place is a mystery since the place was literally buried in snow (only the door was dug out). The disadvantage is the jet lag, it is hard to fly east anyhow and in the winter with less light, you have to be particularly diligent to wake up on time or you'll sleep away the day underneath the unbelievably thick down comforters that all the hotels have there. Also, on one trip to Chamonix we traveled all the way over and they were having a drought. Sadly the skiing was slim.

How about Whistler? We've been to the Olympics before and we're not sure we want to deal with the building out and fussing around that comes with the event. We'd like to head up there next year to take advantage of all that they've done to improve the site; but avoid the crowds this go around.

Utah is always a great choice. Easy direct flights to Salt Lake, a short drive to Park City and easy access to many different cool resorts. Park City has great lodging and a super fun strip for night time carousing. Utah also has the best snow, consistently, that we've ever skied. This was definitely in the running.

East coast skiing, a la Vermont? Sadly, as we get older, we get fussier about the cold weather and we swear it's colder (my dad calls it a wet cold) in Vermont than out west. Plus, our past few trips up there have been on icy slopes.

We ended up choosing Vail/Beaver Creek. The deciding factor was the amazing deal we got on plane tickets: $118 round trip, D.C. to Denver! We go each year with a group of friends, and yes we should probably branch out. At least we're staying somewhere new-- literally new, The Westin Riverfront Beaver Creek just opened last season. We're excited that they have a gondola that runs from the hotel up to the slopes, there's an outdoor lap pool (okay, we may not do laps; but we'll definitely hit the hot tubs), and we're looking forward to the new Anjali spa. If you ski Vail/BC you know how good it feels to take the first trip up the mountain, to find your favorite pit stop for chili and beer, to find a path through the trees and sit for a few minutes on the edge of a slope, saying hi to the familiar view, which is always breath taking. January can't come soon enough.

Need more inspiration? Check out this video:

Product Review: Aveeno Positively Radiant Skin Care

For a solid month, I've been using Aveeno's Positively Radiant Makeup Removing Cleanser. The soft foam does wonders at removing my layers of makeup without drying out my skin. I even use it around my eyes without irritation. The only downside is that the scent is strong for me. I prefer unscented products.



The other Aveeno product I'm impressed with is the Positively Ageless Warming Scrub. I keep it in the shower and use it every few days to help exfoliate and freshen my skin. Now that the weather is turning colder and drier, I like to have a quality scrub nearby to slough off the dry skin, which clogs my pores and causes breakouts even in winter. The unique quality of this scrub is the way in which it heats up when you add water. In fact, if you're scrubbing for about 10 seconds and the warmth fades, add a little more water and it reactivates. Again, the scrub has the same scent as the cleanser, which isn't offensive, just strong for me.
These products are available at drugstores nationwide.
This review was based on free samples.

Day 29: "It's gonna get in here...it's gonna kill us."

When I watch a kick ass little movie like Splinter (2008), I wonder why there's so much moaning and groaning about the state of modern horror. Yes, there's plenty of direct-to-DVD caca out there- not to mention the output from the major studios- but man, there's also gold in them thar whatevers. The genre is certainly riding an upswing, I've come to think, so I'm gonna stop my bitching. Things certainly aren't any worse than they were in, say, 1988. There are more remakes, sure, but the indie scene is thriving. So there.

A trashy couple carjacks a yuppie-ish couple, but they don't get far before an overheated radiator forces them off the road. They stop at a gas station/convenience store in the middle of nowhere, only to find the attendant has been turned into...something poky and deadly. There's a mysterious parasite on the loose that immediately transforms the hosts into splinter-laden abominations. Everyone holes up in the store and simply tries to survive the night.

If John Carpenter's The Thing had a baby with the baby that Romero's Night of the Living Dead and Zach Snyder's Dawn of the Dead had, then that baby would be Splinter. It's a tried-and-true formula- people must overcome their differences and work together to survive!- but somehow this creature feature feels as fresh as a blood-soaked daisy made out of fleshy bits.

It's almost a miracle when characters are actually more than just tolerable- in Splinter, the characters actually have small arcs, acting in ways you may not expect when you meet them early on. For once, the a-hole with the gun stops being an a-hole when the shit hits the fan. People really do work together as they try to figure out a way out of the mess- you know, like they might in real life.

Syfy Channel has wrapped their tentacles around this flick and they air it from time to time as a "Syfy Original"- if that's the only way you watch Splinter, however, you're really cheating yourself out of some killer effects. There's plenty of cringe-inducing goodness here, and the creature- when you can see it- is mind-blowing. I only wish you could see it a bit more; whenever there's an action sequence, we get "action cam", and it's too frenetic at times. It would've been nice if the monster(s) truly had their moment in the spotlight, when we could get a really good look at 'em.


Still, that's really my only complaint here- well, maybe that it was all over too quickly. Splinter's 80 minutes flew by, and the proceedings never dragged. It's just...a damn good movie. Yeah, they're making those now.

Eau Spa Ritz-Carlton Palm Beach

Not all spas are created the same. In Eau Spa's case, its design is quite different from the norm. Usually we expect to find serenity in quiet Zen-like rooms; but Eau Spa, which opened this March in the Ritz-Carlton Palm Beach, uses whimsical design and sunny open spaces to relax its guests.

The Eau Spa offers top end, luxury facials and body treatment from its Bejeweled Collection by incorporating minerals derived from platinum and either diamonds, rubies, or pearls to rejuvenate your complexion and heal your body.

For those of you who'd like to experience Eau Spa on a tighter budget, the Eau Spa also offers day passes for $75, where you can enjoy the bath lounge, ponds, waterfalls and saunas. For an extra charge, you can design your own scrub from the Scrub and Polish Bar. We're partial to their signature scent, Green Tea and Lemongrass; but they also offer vanilla and ginger, citrus and eucalyptus, and lavender and mint. Another option is to sample from their bite sized beauty menu, a sampling of 25 minute mini spa treatments including facials and massages.

Through the end of November, Eau Spa is extending its summer specials. Our favorite is the buddy discount which gives you and your friends a 10% discount if you come together. Find out more information at EauSpa.com.

Feel like makin' lists...

Feel like makin' lists for READERS!

(You're supposed to say that to the tune of that Bad Company song, but it probably didn't translate well. Eh. Whose fault is that?)

Anydingle, Real Simple Magazine wanted me to recommend 10 Halloween movies for their online readership. Now, there are some catches. First, without just listing ALL of the Halloween sequels, coming up with 10 movies based around the holiday is a wee difficult. Second, Real Simple's readership is not...Rue Morgue's readership, dig? I couldn't select anything gory- sorry, Night of the Demons, though Halloween movie you may be, the lipstick stunt would cause the ladies to blanch and take to their fainting couches. Soooo, I made it a list of good horror movies to watch on the 'ween for people who don't normally watch that sort of thing. It was a fun challenge and I was psyched they asked me.

Read it here, and mouth off about what YOU would have put on the list.

GETTT OUUUUTT!

You heard me- get out and head over to AMC, where this week I've cooked up a little guide to some of my favorite haunted houses (for haunted hotels, get in your Wayback Machine). I do so enjoy a haunted house movie. It's one of my favorite subgenres.

Okay, so they're pretty much ALL my favorite subgenres because I fucking love horror movies! I do. You may not have known that up until this point, but it's true. I really dig horror movies, and they make me quite happy (except when they don't, but even then they kinda do). Hey horror movies- you're the best! *Slaps horror movies on the ass*

Anyway, That's not all I've got cooking at AMC this week, oh my stars no. I've also cooked up a couple of quizzes to test your horror trivia mettle. Answer correctly...and quickly, for if the timer runs out on either quiz, your computer will explode in your face. That's right- I'm like the bastard lovechild of Jigsaw and Alex Trebek!

*shudder*

Anyway again, there's a short, easy, breezy, and beautiful quiz about slasher movie quotes, and there's the Halloween ultimate fan quiz. Halloween nerds will likely kick butt, but I tried to throw in some obscurities.

Report back with your results...unless you went and got yourself exploded.

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Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig Live and On Stage

Last night we went to see A Steady Rain with Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig. We'll be honest and say we only went to see the show because of their combined hotness. And the stars--who both made People's Sexiest Men Alive 2008 list--did not disappoint. We went in liking them both equally. We left understanding why Hugh was on the cover of last year's issue or People and Daniel was relegated to the inside. Simply put: He's beautiful.

As for the play...meh. It was the two of them, and the two of them only, on stage for 90 minutes in a cop drama. The acting was strong, but the plot was weak and predictable. We could tell what was going to happen about 15 minutes in. What impressed us the most, aside from Hugh's backside, was that neither Hugh nor Daniel required a glass of water throughout the entire play. Now that's endurance!

After the show, Hugh and Daniel remained on stage to do their pitch for Broadway Cares, Equity Fights Aids. To raise money, they auctioned off the sweaty wife beaters they each wore under their shirts throughout the show. (Yes, we were dying inside.) Included in the deal was a backstage tour and they also offered to autograph their tank tops. We tried to convince our friend, Laura, that the wifebeaters would make a perfect wedding gift, but no dice. (She didn't think our fiancé would appreciate them.)

The tanks eventually sold for $3,000 to two lucky bidders who generously agreed to take one wifebeater each. We think Hugh's should have sold for more!

Day 28: "He's hunting us."

Okay kids, I'm going to try something a little different for today's film, Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead. I'm gonna do a sort of live blog, just kind of typing my thoughts as they happen whilst I watch the movie. It'll be a bullet pointstravaganza that's so in the moment you'll feel as if you're right here with me gettin' yer deformed backwoods cannibal on. Won't that be neat? Yes, it will.

Now, I haven't heard good things about this film. As you may or may not know (or care), I'm a fan of the original film...don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but I'm not a fan of the second one. Such is life. I'm inclined to think that the series probably should have ended after two films at most, but who knows? Perhaps I'm about to dig in to one surprisingly awesome movie. If the cover is any indication, then the series is really getting back to its roots- you know, a brunette in a tank top and all that (I mean, really??). Anyway, enough intro. Time to hit play!

Oh yes...there will be spoilers.

• Wow, this opens with some ragin' water kayaking. How very The Descent!
  
• The woman get topless and smoke a joint while the men look for firewood. The acting (and dialogue) are so atrocious, I can only hope they get killed quickly...and they do! Or at least titso does...arrow through the breast and through the eyeball.
  
• There's the archer cannibal dude, munching on said eyeball. Wow...that looks like a latex mask. And there goes the last remaining shred of mystique the Wrong Turn killers had...
• Holy shit, the picture is pixelated something bad...hopefully that's just because I'm watching a screener copy.
• Okay, the sliced-n-slowly-fall-apart death is in effect, and it's truly some of the worst CGI I've seen in a while. Stan Winston is flipping this shit off from heaven.
• Not even seven minutes in. This does not bode well.
• Aaaaaaaand we're at a prison. It seems that the hispanics and the caucasians do not get along.
• So there's going to be some sort of a prisoner transfer...I'm guessing that the bus is going to crash or get hijacked or something something, resulting in a WRONG TURN into Cannibal Country. Let's see how my prediction pans out.
• Oh. My. God. The driving in the bus sequence is some seriously...it's not even greenscreen. It's like...car driving shit from the old days- sitting in a fake car while a moving road is projected on a screen behind them. OH. MY. GOD. What the fuck was the budget on this? 50 cents and a pack of gum?
• Ugnnnnnn backlot.....
• Wow, no signal on the cell phone. Shocking.
• Okay, yup, the bus is getting run off the road by a truck driven by the cannibals. Mmm hmm.
• Everyone's out of the bus...oh no, now the prisoners are in charge! This is such an unexpected turn of events. They'll get theirs, I'm sure- hopefully soon. Probably in shocking ways, like a sudden arrow through the face or some such.
• The bus exploded...is it just me, or are explosions in movies rarely exciting?
  
• Annnnnd tank top just came running out of the woods. Yeah, right into the mass of hardened prisoners who, uh, haven't seen a woman in a while. She'd be better off with the cannibals.
• Oh, she's a bad actress. Eliza Dushku, where are you? We desperately need your two facial expressions!
• I hate all of these people. I can't wait for them to die. This doesn't make for a pleasurable viewing experience, especially when all they do is blah blah blah. It's blah blah blah but it's not character development, which would be fine...instead, it's just people yelling at each other. Wheeeee!
  
• Cannibal child was lying in wait underneath some leaves...just in case someone happened to wander by this neck of the woods, I guess.
  
• Ooh, the prisoners are slowly killing the cannibal child. Who are the monsters now? WHOOOOO?
• Another sliced-n-slowly-fall-apart death? Okay, it's just the face, but still. Merrrr.
• I guess it's just the one cannibal in this flick (aside from the child). It's one of the original dudes...Snaggleface? Three-toe? One Eye? T-Boz? I don't know...one of 'em.
• Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. 50 minutes in.
• Boy, with all the woods to walk around in, people always manage to walk right into traps. Weird.
  
• Okay, days 29, 30, and 31 better blow my fucking mind, lest SHOCKTOBER die a horrible death. It's not supposed to be this way!
• This movie is nothing but jerks running through the woods at night. There's no suspense, there's no atmosphere, there are no scares...sheesh. Please excuse me- I'm going to zone out now and think back to the original film...specifically, the scene in the house, where the kids are exploring and then the cannibals come home and they all have to hide and be quiet and the cannibals start eating one of their friends and they're forced to watch...yeah...zoning....zooooooo...ninnnnnng....
• Oh dear lord, she's such a bad actress.
• I wonder if that's a deliberate homage to Cannibal Holocaust.
  
• How many shells can a pump action shotgun hold?
• Annnnd the cannibal has kidnapped the girl. Scream scream, drag drag, lick lick, eww eww.
• Gosh, can't have a horror movie without an eeeevil house with a room made just for torturin' nudies!
• So many instances of characters punching each other where the fist is clearly kept about 18 inches away from the face.
• Well, there's lots of blood, I'll say that much.
• Wow, it's surprisingly easy to take off the top of someone's skull.
• Gosh, I guess the bad guy is dead...with ten minutes left...
• OH. MY. GOD. Really? REALLY??? So the heroes drive off in a truck (more bad car effects)...then a few miles away from the house the cannibal is STANDING IN THE ROAD?? This is not possible. THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE. NOT POSSIBLE. FOR MANY REASONS. And he jumps on the speeding truck? And there's atrocious CGI?
• Okay, I guess he's dead now.
  
• Ah, another vehicle explodes. Excitement.
• This really needs to be the last Wrong Turn. Really. No, really. This series needs to be euthanized.
• Annnnnnd there's the lame fucking coda that leaves the door open for another film.

Whew, I made it! For a while there, I didn't think I would. Don't you feel like you watched it with me? Aren't you glad you didn't actually watch it with me? You should be. Wrong Turn 3 is a big pile of dook. Horrible, horrible, horrible...in case you couldn't tell what I thought from this post.

Day 27: "Nothing's going to hurt you now."

Wowee, what to luck to happen upon yet another film that begins with a gang rape! First it was Nail Gun Massacre, and now the 1973 Curtis Harrington film The Killing Kind; boy oh boy, I've practically got a theme week here. While Nail Gun Massacre veered off into sub-sub-sub-par slasher territory, however, The Killing Kind veers off into a Psycho-on-steroids kind of squidginess that's bound to leave you in need of a shower when all is said and done.

Terry (John Savage) was forced by his friends to partake in the gang rape of young Tina (Sue Bernard) under the boardwalk on that fateful day. It's questionable whether he could actually "perform", but regardless he ended up doing a 2-year term in the clink. Once he's out, he heads to the boarding house run by his mother Thelma (Ann Sothern) where he's treated to gallons of chocolate milk and sexually-tinged oppression.

Thelma's constant deriding of anyone else on the planet with a vagina (they're not good enough for Terry, they're all whores, blah blah blah) coupled with "affection" that's a bit too...affectionate for a mother and son have clearly rendered Terry with a muddled idea of sexuality.



He's plagued by visions of Tina under the boardwalk, and anytime he's confronted by a woman- whether a magazine photo staring back at him as he tries to masturbate or a repressed, older neighbor coming on to him, Terry flips out and loses control. Before too long, he takes revenge on those who put him behind bars, including his defense lawyer as well as Tina herself.

Terry's homicidal ways begin to worm their way into his home life once Lori (Cindy Williams) moves into mom's boarding house. Events escalate until there's a dead Shirley Feeney-to-be in the bathtub, and Thelma must finally face up to the fact that her beloved son is a certifiable cuckoo nutso.

The Killing Kind features the most inappropriate familial relationship I've had the "pleasure" of watching since I popped in Night Warning some time back. While the Terry - Thelma dynamic is going to send you running for your toothbrush the moment the credits start rolling, it's thanks to veterans Savage and Sothern that their relationship isn't just a sideshow. Each actor gives a performance hinting at the pain and loneliness that are part and parcel of what results in such antisocial behavior. It's almost impossible to like either one of them, but they're also hard to hate.

All in all, it's an expectedly solid effort from the underappreciated Curtis Harrington. The Killing Kind has the feel of an especially lurid TV movie- and that's certainly not a bad thing.

SushiSamba Las Vegas

While in Vegas, we were treated to one of the most amazing meals of our lives at SushiSamba at the Palazzo, courtesy of General Manager Hayes Swope. The food was amazing, filling and healthy, and the sake pairings were perfect. Even better, we didn't feel bloated at all afterwards. SushiSamba isn't just another fusion restaurant it represents the unique culture that developed in South America between Japanese, Peruvians, and Brazilians.

No surprise, Hayes, a self-proclaimed party facilitator, says he books 15-20 bachelor and bachelorette parties every Friday and Saturday night. He also plays matchmaker and strategically seats the parties next to each other. That's our kinda guy!

Hayes told us that compared to their bachelor counterparts, women spend more on liquor than food. Bachelorettes at SushiSamba are partial to strawberry martinis, unfortunately nicknamed "panty droppers." We tried them ourselves and are sticking to sake.

At SushiSamba, waiters will work with their tables to present a perfect meal be they bachelor parties or average diners. That means getting to know their guests preferences, dietary restrictions and budgets.

Our meal started with yellowtail seviche taquitos:



We got a little panicky when the king crab legs disappeared shortly after they were served. Hope and Annie both thought the others had eaten them all. Turns out the chef removed them from the shell for us so they were easier to eat and promptly returned them.


The Kobe, top right, was so delicious--it has ruined Hope for other cuts of beef. We skipped all the sauces in favor of a simple coating of salt and pepper on Hayes's suggestion. He taught us to breathe in through our mouth when we eat it to fully experience the decadence of the meat.



Even though we thought we were too full, we had no problem finishing of this plate of sushi.



Learn more from Hayes Swope about our favorites: sashimi peruvian style, king crab legs, sake pairing and Kobe beef.

Best Travel Websites

One day, we hope to be included in Travel & Leisure's roundup of the best travel websites. Until then, we'll share our faves off the 2009 list.

The article gives high marks to Bing.com's fare forecasting. The site would have come in handy when we were booking our airline tickets to Vegas. We waited a week to book our tickets in the hopes the prices would come down. They didn't. T&L says Bing.com is right 87 percent of the time, which is a heck of a lot better than a shot in the dark.

We like idea of iFly.com for "Make the Best of a Layover," but think the site must be run by men. Point 1: We found no mention of spas or nail salons, like SeaTac's Butter London. Point 2: The in-town layover ideas give users no idea how long the trip will take. For example, if you want to checkout NYC's Radio City between flights at JFK, you better have at least 3 hours to get there and back with traffic. A woman would never be such a poor planner.

TripKick is another site that could have helped us on our recent trip to Vegas. The site dishes on what rooms to select for size, noise, view and more at various hotels. In Vegas, Hope was the first to arrive and had to change our room at the Palazzo twice! The first one had plumbing problems, then the second was a 3-mile hike from the elevators. As T&L points out, the list of hotels TripKick covers is small, but growing.

Day 26: "Groooaaannnnnnn."

For Day 27 of SHOCKTOBER, I will be watching something that is widely rumored to be good, very good, or pretty fucking great.

For Day 26, however, I watched Stan Helsing...and after a 3-day stretch consisting of The Toybox, The Nail Gun Massacre, and Stan Helsing, well, the "groan" up there in the post title is coming from me. If I don't get the antidote stat, this bad movie streak may very well be the end of ol' moi.

Stan Helsing is a slacker who works in a video store. On Halloween night, he and three of his friends head off to a party, but they're waylaid in Stormy Night Estates, where Stan has to deliver some tapes to his boss's mom. The town, which used to be a movie studio, has been cursed ever since a fire burned it down ten years prior. Stan and his friends try all night to get past the locked gates and get back to their van.

That's it. Drag that premise out for 90 minutes, douse it liberally with the worst, laziest jokes to ever grace a horror spoof, and you've got yourself a copy of Stan Helsing.

Stan and his friends have to face off against parodies of some of horror's finest villains, which...I don't know, maybe there's some humor to be mined there. If there is, then writer/director Bo Zenga has missed it entirely. Behold, the wit: Pinhead- excuse me, "Needlehead"- has darts and hypodermic needles in his head! Har, har. Freddy Krueger has been transformed into some Flava Flav ripoff (though the only real effort here is the clock around his neck), while Michael Myers is...is...he wears a yarmulke, which I suppose makes him Jewish, which is...funny?


Leatherface wields a leaf blower instead of a chainsaw, while Jason (played by Ken Kirzinger of Freddy vs Jason) wears a hockey jersey in addition to his mask- oh, and his name is...get this you guys, so funny...Mason. Get it? Instead of Jason, he's called Mason! Yeah, hilarious.

I don't see how anyone in their right mind could have read this script and thought it would make a great comedy. I don't see how it's possible that someone read this script and decided to throw money at it. This fucking movie got funding- probably several MILLION dollars. I'd say I don't know why anyone would read the script and then agree to appear in the film, but things are tough all over and it's best to take the money and run. Still, it's obvious that the actors know they're appearing in a piece of shit- they're all a bit dead behind the eyes, and the performances are largely lethargic. Steve Howey did better work on Reba, Kenan Thompson did better work in All That, and hsofga;oVDSFva;sdfa; bjakaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Sorry. I was just getting a bit worked up at how FUCKING INANE this movie is. It's also heartbreaking to see Leslie Nielsen here for absolutely no reason, given nothing to do except dodder about a bit...in drag. ISN'T THAT FUNNY?

A few bloopers are sprinkled in throughout the end credits, and during one bit, one of the actresses- one of the actresses!- sums up Stan Helsing best: "It's so stupid."

Fuck this movie.

Fall Beauty Trends for Daily Makeover's Beauty Bloggerati

Hear what the Jet Set Girls and our fellow Daily Makeover Beauty Bloggerati picked out as their favorite fall beauty trends:

Oxygen Bar Las Vegas

When we passed by the Breathe Oxygen Bar in the Venetian after our poker lesson and our epic sushi and sake tasting lunch on the way back to our room, we must have had "sucker" written on our foreheads. The signs promised we would be energized, our hangovers would vanish and jet lag would be a thing of the past. (Basically, the equivalent of drinking Eric or Bill's blood on our favorite vampire show.) And even though the patrons who were there before us said the oxygen treatment did nothing to them, we were desperate enough to give it a shot.

For $22, we were connected to the oxygen machine for 15ish minutes. The oxygen is scented with eucalyptus and lavender. The cute female therapists entertained and kept us occupied with extras like eucalyptus oil in the palms or our hands, battery powered back massagers and more.

About halfway in, Annie's nose started to get stuffy. The therapists claimed it was because the oxygen was working. She had to remove her nose hose early because she started to feel claustrophobic. Hope, on the other hand, enjoyed the entire treatment.

Believe it or not, we did feel a bit rejuvenated after the treatment. Whether that was psychosomatic or a true benefit of the oxygen, we don't know. But at least the American Lung Association says oxygen bars like Breathe aren't likely to do any harm.

Day 25: "Remember when you could sit outside and not worry about the mosquitos and the killers?"

Going into a flick called The Nail Gun Massacre (1985), well, I suppose I should know what to expect: some deadly nail gun shenanigans, a fine patina of sleaze, and a distinct absence of quality. Sure enough, my expectations were met! The only shock I suffered was that in the end, the movie wasn't nearly as lurid as I was expecting.

The movie begins with a gang rape. It's not explicit, nor is it terribly long...but as it literally opens the film, it's a propos of nothing. A woman is surrounded by a bunch of workers at a construction site while a peppy '80s synth tune plays, and it's all so sudden that by the time you've processed that yes, Nail Gun Massacre opens with a rape, it's over. It's not traumatizing for the viewer- it's probably the only instance of cinematic rape where I've claimed that- and one can only assume that it's going to provide the impetus for the titular nail-gunning to come.

And provide the impetus it does, in the very next scene! A hairy slob is yelling at his wife (who's outside hanging laundry on a line) when he's visited by someone dressed in camouflage, wearing a duct taped motorcycle helmet, and wielding a massive nail gun. Judging by the figure's diminutive size and vaguely hourglass figure, it seems this is the rape victim out for a bit of pneumatic-powered revenge.

But is it revenge? Is the hairy slob one of the construction workers who raped that woman? We don't know. We never really know any of the people killed in Nail Gun Massacre- their names, how they may or may not relate to anything that already transpired in the film...it all seems completely random. Oh well, might as well just roll with it.

After the hairy slob is killed and his wife runs off into the woods with her baby, we're treated to the opening credits sequence, which surely ranks among the worst credits sequences of all time. Plain text slowly gives the names of cast and crew while the theme song...isn't a theme song at all. There's no music, only someone's voice filtered through a vocoder, going "muaa...MUAA...MUAA...MUAA" ad nauseum. It turns out that this voice belongs to the killer. Nail Gun Massacre then quickly establishes a pattern:

1. People you don't want to watch engage in sex engage in sex
2. Ample bare bottoms and bare boobs are on display
3. Nail Gun Killer arrives
4. BANG BANG BANG goes the nail gun
5. UHHNNN...NO...UHHNNN goes the victim
6. Nail Gun Killer cracks wise via vocoder (eg, "Oh, don't you just hate headaches?")
7. Sheriff arrives, is perplexed by the body, calls the doctor
   
8. Doctor arrives in a Camaro, clad in a tank top, says the victim died "hours ago"
9. They both suspect "Old Mrs. Bailey" of the killings

Add a heaping vat of inept filmmaking, a dose of a horrible script, atrocious acting, and repeat, repeat, repeat.

If anything, Nail Gun Massacre proves that decent slasher movies are much more than the sum of their parts. Though there's nudity, blood, and a masked killer, this is far worse than even the weakest entry in the Friday the 13th series. You've got to have a modicum of skill in at least one essential area (writing, directing, FX, acting) for the movie to work, and Nail Gun Massacre fails on all fronts.

Mind you, this doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the damn thing, because I did. I think the moment it won my heart came during a scene set in a grocery store. An elderly clerk is adding up an order (apparently without the aid of a cash register), and the actress is clearly reading her lines from a script on the counter. She fumbles over a few sentences, and when the scene is finally over...she looks directly at the camera with a look that says "Is that it?" According to imdb, the woman isn't an actress at all, but the director's grandmother, who actually worked at the store- she filled in when the actress originally cast didn't show. I loved her, and it filled me with a sort of "Aww, none of these people are professionals...they're just making a movie, how sweet!" Of course, this doesn't make the affair any better, or really worth your time. It basically endeared the awfulness to me because that's how my brain works.

As I said, it is awful. Another "highlight" occurs during one of the film's copious sex scenes, where a couple is trying to have it off in a 2-seater car. It's not working because there's no room for them to maneuver, and at one point the couple stops moving around completely...while the car still bounces up and down as if they're humping away. The shadow of the person repeatedly pushing down on the car is clearly visible on the hood. The killer soon arrives, prompting the man to ask "What are you, a cop?"- I don't know, how many law enforcement agencies wear camouflage jumpsuits, duct taped motorcycle helmets, and wield nail guns? Maybe things are different elsewhere in the country. At any rate, Ol' Naily makes short work of the couple- the man dies immediately after being shot in the elbow with a nail.


The killer drives a massive, golden/puke-colored hearse and leaves it on the road whilst off wielding the nail gun; the sheriff encounters this hearse many times in many places, but thinks nothing of it. Eventually, he and the doctor stop blaming "Old Mrs. Bailey" (whom we never meet) for the crimes...the sheriff finally begins to think that the rape victim from a few months back might have something to do with this, but the doctor remains unconvinced. After all, he spoke to her after the rape and "She never showed any signs that the rape pushed her mind into a state of killing." The state of killing is so dangerous!

Still, the men go to talk to her...there's a lengthy Camaro vs Golden/Puke Hearse "chase" sequence, and all parties end up at the gravel pit. The killer is soon revealed to be...the rape victim's brother. Yes, despite the fact that the role has been played by a woman throughout the entire film, it's actually a man under the helmet. Uh huh.

Totally. Horribly. Ridiculous. And yet, I could not bring myself to be angry with Nail Gun Massacre. I mean, I'm the one who popped it in the VCR and should have known what to expect. What I didn't expect was that the director's gramma would steal my heart!

Seriously...watch at your own risk.