visions of the future

Bloody-Disgusting has a review up of the workprint of the forthcoming remake of Black Christmas. It's super wicked spoiler-heavy but I read it anyway. It's a review of a mere work in progress, but I read it anyway. Why? Because many moons ago when I first read about this movie I think I could already smell it...and it smelled bad, baby. Perhaps it's not fair to judge a film on an interview here and a production still there and a plot synopsis over yonder. But hey, who says I have to be fair? And anyway, if you read the scathing review, you'll see my early onset of middle finger-flipping was most likely justified. Point #1, from the review: "It's too jokey." Sigh. I hate too jokey in my horror! Unless it's supposed to be jokey, which I'm pretty sure this film is not.

There's no denying the hilarity of this production still, however, which I have dubbed Coal Miner's Daughter Senior Portrait:

She's ever so thoughtful and innocent and sooty!

As I said, it's just a workprint so things may change before I lay my grubby eyes on this puppy, but it matters not. I'm already working up a list of post/review titles for when Black Christmas hits the screen:

Blecch Christmas
Ho-Ho-Horrible
Bah Humbug!
Black ChristmASS
Was I Naughty, Santa? Is That Why You've Wrought This Upon Me?
The Worst Noel
Jingle Smells
and
This Movie is a Piece of Shit

What gets your vote? I'm really into The Worst Noel despite its lack of profanity.