LUDLOW needs YOU!

Alright, people, this is it. As you may well be aware because I won't shut up about it, Ludlow is finished. It's been slapped on a DVD and screened for some friends. In fact, I thought I'd reached a time when it would no longer rule my days and haunt my nights...and I'm sure you all thought you could just watch the fucking thing and be done with it, right? That's nice, in theory, but...



See, the final cut of the film turned out to be a whopping 63 minutes. 63 MINUTES, a result that was rather unexpected, to say the least. After all, the script was only 20 pages.

Now, as you may notice, 63 minutes is quite close to the running time of a feature film, yes? And a wee too long a run time for a comfortable short, yes? Yes. Obviously, this only means one thing: I need to write some more, shoot some more, and make Ludlow longer. I need to expand the elastic waistband on the comfortable short(s) and make this into a feature, which will be easier to get into the grubby mitts of audiences. Stronger, faster, better!

Shannon Lark (ze star) will be back here in Los Angeles in early August. Once more, we're going to truck out into the Mojave Desert and, barring any typical Ludlow-related shananigans, we're gonna finish this puppy.


Here's where you come in, o dear reader. We need to raise funds to complete our arduous task. Travel, lodging, FX, these all need to be covered, so we're asking for donations.

Donate $10 and your name gets in the credits of the film. The person who donates the most by Friday, August 7th will also receive a 16" x 20" painting by me, subject matter of the donor's choosing.

Yes, I feel a bit presumptuous offering up a painting by me as a "prize", but I have no idea what else to offer. Check out my work here to see if that's something you'd be into.

We don't need much money, but we do need some. All proceeds will go towards the making of Ludlow- however, should we receive money over the amount we need to finish the film, it'll go towards whatever's next on our slate- and Shannon and I have a good four projects lined up to make together.

Any amount will help. Alright, frankly a penny won't help that much, but I'll still take it and give you my eternal gratitude in return.

Now, if you're saying "That's all fine and good, but you haven't shown us crap beyond that teaser trailer. What am I getting myself into? I don't even know what this movie is about!" Well, here's what the skinny be, as best as I can tell ya...or Heidi at Pretty/Scary can tell ya, 'cause she told it just right:

Shot in the California desert in just a few days under grueling circumstances, Ludlow's plot involves a woman (Shannon Lark) stalked by her abusive ex boyfriend and aided by a well-meaning sister (Elissa Dowling) which quickly turns deadly.

There you go. And here's a little clip. Oh, this shit is NSFW, but then so is Final Girl, so...



So. Give if you can, or if you want to, even if it's only well-wishes. Repost this or link to it on your own website and spread the indie horror love. The movie-making flame BURNS!

Jin Soon and MAC Nail Polish

Combine the top name in New York's Fashion Week backstage makeup with one of the most well known name in nails and you get Jin Soon and MAC's nail polish collection, a combo that goes together more naturally than Lindsay Lohan and trouble. MAC, which has sponsored NYFW for as long as we can remember, and Jin Soon, who has been the go-to-gal for nails in New York since she opened her first salon more than 10 years ago, collaborated on a nail polish line that's straight off the Fall '09 runways.

While we covet all of the six colors, Jin says she is especially excited about the green hues: Dry Martini and Beyond Jealous (below), which is the shade editors were clamoring over at the Doo.Ri show. "I think come Fall ‘09, green is going to be THE color."



Don't be scared by the intensely rich colors. As Jin Soon says, "Nail polish isn't a tattoo – it’s only temporary - so I always tell my clients to have fun with their color and be adventurous."

We couldn't agree more. Annie got more compliments than she could count about her aqua toes over the Fourth!

The Jin Soon and Mac Nail Polish line is available starting August 27. We recommend you get them quickly because these are sure to sell out fast.

Film Club: Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror

Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror (1981) typifies that which we folks around here call a "Tiffany"- that is, this Italian zombiefest coulda been so beautiful, but you simply can't hold what coulda been, dig? The film tackles the standard spaghetti-n-eyeballs formula, at times throwing a few innovations into the genre; somehow, though, this movie that coulda and shoulda been a cult classic ends up just sort of...there.


An archaeologist who bears a striking resemblance to comic creator Alan Moore discovers "an incredible secret" whilst mucking about in a crypt beneath a mansion; one can only assume that it has something to do with the living dead, for soon reanimated, rotting corpses are biting his bearded ass.

Well, not literally. The zombies do make with the munch munch, though, despite the professor's pleas of "Stand back! I'm your friend!" NOTE TO SELF: Zombies care not for friends.

Soon thereafter, a bunch of people show up at the mansion because...umm...they're friends with the professor, I guess, and he wants to tell them all about his incredible secret. It's never fully or clearly explained, but no matter! What's important here is that we get plenty of scenes with a bunch of unappealing people almost having sex, classic lines of dialogue such as "You look just like a little whore- but I like it!", and we're introduced to Michael (Peter Bark), the 40-year-old 12-year-old who looks just like a mini-Dario Argento.

Yes, he's supposed to be a child...a child with some serious mommy issues- but we'll get to that later.

Don't worry, it won't take long to get to Michael. There's not much else to explain in Burial Ground, because there's no story. Zombies show up, people kind of run away or sometimes fight, and that's that. Mind you, I've never seen the walking dead walk slower (seriously, even the Romero Shufflers are all "Can you guys please hurry the eff up? We're hungry, here!"), nor have I ever seen a stupider ragtag group of survivors. They stand there and say things like "They're coming towards us!" as the zombies slooooowwwwly do just that.

By the way, this zombie (whom I nicknamed Marty Feldman) was my favorite:

As I stated earlier, writer Piero Regnoli and director Andrea "Strip Nude for Your Killer" Bianchi add a few welcome innovations to the mix. First, the zombies take to using tools to aid in the pursuit of their prey: from farm implements (!) to battering rams (!!) to a random power saw left plugged into the wall of a rural monastery (!!!), these dudes will do whatever it takes to get their munch munch on. The best sequence, perhaps, comes when the foolish housekeeper dangles herself out the window to check out the happenings, only to have her hand impaled when a zombie- surely some ninja zombie, or perhaps a zombie who was a circus knife-thrower at one time- chucks a spike through it. Then, as you'd expect, the rotters slowly cut her head off with a giant scythe.

Yeah, it's silly, but it's also a frightening twist; zombies are supposed to just stand there, or mill about, or- worst case scenario- run. They're not supposed to throw things, or poke at me with...pointy pokers. And for Charles Nelson Reilly's sake, they're certainly not supposed to climb up anything except maybe stairs! They're not allowed to scale buildings, dammit, but in Burial Ground they do, and it's sort of my worst nightmare come to life. Or unlife. Or whatever.

One element that seems to distinguish Italian zombies from their non-Italian counterparts is the fact that these bastards are fetid corpses, all oatmeal-faced and maggot-covered, who rise from the ground. Elsewhere in cinema, the walking dead are generally just sort of blue-faced and shambling about. I want hands busting through turf a la Creepshow, and I want to smell 'em coming before I see 'em. In this respect, Burial Ground totally delivers.

And now it's time: undoubtedly the most ridiculous and notorious element of the film is l'il pervy Michael. A scene of a mother comforting her son quickly devolves into the viewer crying "Why the fuck is there about to be incest happening on my screen?!" as Michael attempts to feel up mommy, wondering why she refuses to offer some boobage like she did when he was a baby. He's a determined 40-year-old 12-year-old, though, and when Michael is later bitten and transformed, he immediately takes advantage of the situation to get what he wants. It's an absolutely shocking sequence, the dubious highlight of Burial Ground upon which the movie's entire reputation is built.

There's plenty of gut-munching and maggots and zombies galore, but in the end Burial Ground never seems to gel completely into a satisfying whole. I didn't really care about much of anything going on, although it's an interesting piece of Italian zombie cinema, to be sure (if only for the sideshow that is Michael). If nothing else, the film proves one thing: sometimes movies need a plot! Oh, and that zombies care not for friends. So...two things.

Let's put it this way: the typo in the quote that marks the end of the movie somehow makes perfect sense.


Film Club Coolies, y'all!
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The Hougly Film and Beer Journal
Kaedrin
Dave's Blog About Movies and Such
Brutal As Hell
The Film Reel
Banned in Queensland
Full Moon Reviews
Zombie Cupcake
The Verdant Dude
The Deadly Doll's House of Horror Nonsense
namtab
Askewed Views
The Horror Section
The Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse
Rogue Dave
Sam Hawken
Invasion of the B Movies
Hugo Stiglitz Makes Movies

Win a trip to Mexico, Courtesy of Tory Burch

A vacation and a Tory Burch wardrobe? Sign us up! Tory Burch is giving away four nights at the ultra-luxurious Cabos One & Only Pamilla, airfare for two to Mexico, two massages and dinner at the hotel's Jean Georges Market restaurant and a $1,200 Tory Burch wardrobe.

If we win, we're definitely packing Tory's Stephanie dress, on sale now for $255.

Enter on Tory Burch's website.

Product Review - Rolling Razor - Product Review

This Rolling Razor is an awesome concept and we really thought we’d love it based on the other reviews we've read and it's futuristic appearance. It seemed cutting edge (pardon the pun) and the idea made a lot of sense. However, after using the Rolling Razor a few times, we just don’t think it does as good a job as some of the other razors we’ve used. It took us a few times just to figure out if we were doing it correctly, but after viewing videos on their website, we realized we simply weren’t getting the results we were hoping for. And seriously--who wants a razor that requires a video?

It does prove to be avant-garde, but the true test is how smooth our legs/underarms were. Sure they were hairless, but not as smooth as with other razors, and the hair grew back quicker. We do like the pomegranate shaving cream that the brand offers. It smells fresh and it is less foamy but equally as effective as other shaving creams. So all in all, kudos for design, thumbs down for smoothness.

so i made a movie: VOYEUR, part one

Dear y'alls,

I bet you've been worried about me, right? Wondering where I was and if I'd ever come back from my vacation...why, I'm sure you weren't even able to celebrate July 4th to the fullest because of all the concern. "No, friend, despite the fact that I love American independence and the thought of powdered wigs, I cannot even fathom a hot dog right now for I am concerned about Final Girl. What if she never comes back? What if she's taken to the woods like Nell and she's off doing nudie midnight swims and tayyynnnn innna wiinnnn-ing ? Which useless website will I read then, friend? WHICH I SAY."

Well, don' worr', chickbayyyyy, I'm back...although the prospect of fleeing to the woods and finding a lake for my nudie midnight swims was indeed tempting. Tomorrow, as you may recall, is Film Club Day, so go get yer Italian zombie action on!

But first, behold, Part One of So I Made A Movie: Voyeur, which is a short film written by, directed by, and starring Shannon Lark, which we shot whilst I was away. We just know how much you dug our silly write-ups for Ludlow, so we decided to continue the series. See what you've wrought? This is what happens when you pay attention to us.

-------------------------

SHANNON LARK: It seems as though the filmmaking process of Ludlow went so well between Stacie Ponder and I, that I decided to call upon her to film a short script I wrote titled Voyeur.

It was a perfect situation: I had just enough money to film this small beast, and Stacie had an itching to get the hell out of LA for a couple days. We made a deal for the exchange of services: she does the cinematography for my short and I see some big ass trees with her.

Fuck yeah.

STACIE PONDER: I learned two things (and two things ONLY) whilst making Ludlow: 1) Peperoncinis and peanut butter is a fucking delicious combo, and 2) Shannon and I mesh together creatively, like, super duper wicked awesomely. I’ll jump at any chance to work with her, and the fact that Voyeur came along so soon after Ludlow wrapped had me psyched. I was duly honored that she asked me to DP for her, but after saying yes I have to admit to a little panic. I’d never shot anything for anyone else before. I was going to be essentially responsible for her film (particularly since she’s also the star and wouldn’t be behind the camera with me), and for a while I wasn’t sure if I was up to the task. If I shoot my own movie and it sucks, I can just bury the tapes out in the New Mexico desert next to all those Atari E.T. game cartridges and no one ever has to find out. If I shoot someone else’s movie and it sucks, I’ve ruined her movie and I’m a big jerk. It’s a lot of pressure especially since, as I mentioned, it was my first time. I could only hope that Voyeur would be gentle and would still love and respect me in the morning.

Besides, the idea of seeing the big ass trees in Sequoia National Park after the shoot was too delicious to pass up, so it was on.

SHANNON LARK: I had written the script last November while I was still living in San Francisco (more like surfing on friend’s couches) and I was working at the Starlight Room in downtown SF. My boss, Harry Denton, who is like…famous and stuff, has an amazing apartment in a 40’s motif that I had read about in the papers. I wanted to write a story about a woman who is raped, and it’s really fucked up. I’ve always felt there weren’t enough rape films, especially male on male sodomy scenes. There aren’t any male on male sodomy scenes in the movie, but Harry Denton had the perfect apartment to match, so I was sold on the idea of shooting in the city.

I left San Francisco on January 1st, and drove like a madman straight to New Mexico to live, and like…have a home and a shower and stuff.

STACIE PONDER: Fucking diva.

SHANNON LARK: Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors hit and the shooting date fell though on two separate occasions for different reasons. Ugh. It’s a short film for Christ’s sake! And dammit, Christ wanted me to make this movie!!

STACIE PONDER: It’s true, Christ wanted her to make this movie. I read about it in the Bible.

Okay, not in the BIBLE Bible, but I read about it on a website about the Bible. It said something like “And lo, Shannon Lark shall maketh a film about a woman who is raped, and lo, it shall be good. And fucked up.”

SHANNON LARK: I got the crew together (which is all female, so it kinda rocks) and cashed in a free flight from Southwest, due to my nifty little rewards card. Stacie picked me up from the airport in Burbank and we hit the grocery store. I don’t eat gluten anymore and I had a great time telling Stacie allllll about it.

STACIE PONDER: Holy crap, if I hear about gluten one more time I’m gonna puke my pants. Shannon is worse than a born again! Actually, it’s kind of amazing how she managed to work it into virtually EVERY conversation:

“Shannon, what time is it?”

“Umm, it’s 5:30. That’s so weird, because I stopped eating gluten at 10:30 three weeks ago!”

“How is that weird?”

“I don’t know, it just is. By the way, I don’t eat gluten anymore.”

SHANNON LARK: She had arranged a screening for Ludlow and the Ghostella films that evening so we grilled up veggie shishkabobs and I drank wayyyy too much wine. I don’t drink that often and since I don’t eat gluten anymore (hehe), I can’t drink beer. C’mon! I grew up on beer!!

Stacie just drank herself sober…on beer.

STACIE PONDER: My goal for the evening was basically to get drunk. This would serve two purposes: one, the booze would soothe my jangled nerves and I’d be able to watch Ludlow and all my other crap in front of people. Two, I was looking to relax after countless hours and long nights editing that fucking movie, and three, it was also a sort of birthday party and to celebrate my FINALLY turning 21, I thought it would be neat to get drunk legally for a change.

Yes, I realize that’s three purposes but I’m a girl so math is hard.

My plan worked for a while, and I was indeed drunk. In fact, I was going around letting people know as much: “Look, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m a little bit drunk.” The next thing I knew, however, I was unexpectedly and disappointingly sober. The sudden transformation truly counts as one of life’s mysteries.

SHANNON LARK: Everyone loved Ludlow, I think. Except maybe that one guy who wandered off into the night when it started to play.

STACIE PONDER: No one knows who that guy was! No one claimed the random drunk guy. Maybe he was a mass hallucination, or a ghost. That’s probably it. He did talk about peoples’ auras an awful lot.

SHANNON LARK: The crowd went crazy over Stacie’s short films and I ended up passing out on her bedroom floor directly after Ludlow screened. I spilled wine on her favorite blanket and water on her bed before falling asleep under a curtain that I pulled from my suitcase.

STACIE PONDER: Yeah, I think people had a good time. It’s an amazing feeling to have people react positively to something I made- it kinda makes me feel like a three-year-old who busted out some glitter-covered macaroni art and mom loves it- or claims to- and hangs it on the fridge.

After the movies were over, people wanted to tell Shannon that she was fantastic in Ludlow (because…you know…she IS), but she’d disappeared. I found her drunk on my bedroom floor, managed to get her outside to greet (read: slur at) her public, then tucked her in for the night under her beloved curtain. The wine spillage wasn’t discovered until a week later, after we’d returned from our Voyeur adventure. It really doesn’t matter to me- it’s just a fucking blanket- but what I find most amusing is that Shannon tried to convince me that the blanket wasn’t even mine and that she’d brought it with her.

SHANNON LARK: It looks just like the blanket I was supposed to bring! Honest!!

And so the adventures of Voyeur began, just like Christ said on that one website about the bible.

Web Snob Roundup 7-3-09

Stiletto Jungle plans out an inexpensive at home facial.

All Lacquered Up gives you a look at the MAC Nail Trend FW09 collection before its August

Allie is Wired fashion face-off: Carrie Underwood vs. Whitney Port.

Bag Bliss Find: Summer clutches for under $90!

Bag Snob- Alexander McQueen Glove clutch is bizarrely cool.

Beauty Snob loves Motives Liquid to Powder foundation for flawless skin!

Coquette loves the modern dresses with tribal patterns and Ikat prints.

Daily Obsession has the first look at Posh and Beck's steamy new campaign for Emporio Armani.

Fashion Pulse Daily can't get enough of Phillip Lim's eco-conscious collection, Go Green Go

Looking for a personalized mom necklace? I'm Not Obsessed shows you a celebrity favorite.

The Jet Set Girls found three great Fouth of July outfits for under $160!

Second City Style discusses what's hot in accessories right now with eBay Style Director, Constance White.

Shopping and Info found the pink floral skirt worn by Vanessa Hudgens.

Stylehive is still not over Blake Lively's bright CFDA awards dress, and has found a few that might just do the trick..

The Beauty Stop explains how to get fast and easy hairstyles for summer.

The Shoe Goddess revisits the 80s with these fabulous Jimmy Choo studded leather boots!

eye4style reports on the new line from Beyoncé and Tina Knowles - is Sasha Fierce on your shopping list for fall?