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Friday, February 19, 2010

Friday the 13th Victim of the Week: Maddy

Mmm-hmm child, I'm talking' 'bout...


As her pal Robin (Elizabeth Kaitan) notes, she and Maddy arrive at a house on Crystal Lake to have a good time. Unfortunately, Robin also notes that if Maddy wants any attention from boys, she'll need "a little touch-up work". Maddy is rightfully insulted and, after watching Robin cavort with one of said boys, marches upstairs.

Maddy intends to prove Robin wrong by...well, by proving her right. The makeup comes out, the glasses come off, the clothes are changed, and the results cause Maddy to exclaim to no one but her own reflection, "Need a little touch-up work my ass!"

Maddy. I admire your l'esprit de kiss my ass, but let's be honest: you just spent an awful lot of time giving yourself a little touch-up. Apparently the process involved hours of putting on lipstick.


And that's okay! The results are nice, in a terribly '80s sort of way.

Anyway, despite the fact that she goes upstairs for Extreme Maddy Makeover, she ends up downstairs when she's finished, completely bypassing the party. Hearing a noise, she ventures outside into the woods (duh) and promptly loses an earring. She soon finds it, exclaiming "Thank God!" If it was indeed Divine Intervention that led her to her missing piece of clip-on jewelry, then we can only hope that He will intervene when Maddy's straits are far more dire.

SPOILER: He doesn't.

A body falls from a tree right in front of Maddy's eyes; surely the scene is a little blurry to her- she left her glasses inside, after all- but as the body heralds the arrival of Jason Voorhees, Maddy knows to beat feet.

She hides in a shed, and though she's smart enough to take off her high heels, she's still doomed. Jason's soggy arms bust through what's apparently a balsa wood wall, and Maddy meets his friend Mr. Sharpie Farm Implement. While her death takes place off-screen, there's still a moment of shock here: that's not a dress she's wearing, but a skirt and crop top!

Poor Maddy. No one got to see her lovely transformation. Oh well. At least she died young and left a beautiful corpse! R.I.P. Maddy!

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