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Thursday, August 9, 2007

stuff

If you head over to Pretty/Scary today, you can take a gander at my interview with Natassia Malthe, star of Skin- walkers and BloodRayne II. She was dope.

I also caught a 20-minute preview of Skinwalkers (it's not being screened before its 8/10 opening) and...umm...well...err...ugh.

Stan Winston did the werewolf effects, and the werewolves look pretty cool. It's nice to see a monster movie that's using makeup instead of CGI; this ain't Van Helsing, you know?

Oh, and there was a pistol-totin' granny as well.

Take that for what you will.

I also recently caught the trailer for Croc, a film that's premiered and is currently running on Time Warner's Video-on-Demand. I for one do not have Time Warner cable, but dammit...I wanna see Croc. In a minute-and-a-half trailer, I saw Michael Madsen (in a fucking doo-rag) tap his fake leg and talk about revenge against the croc. I saw some lady tell some kids to get out of the water; one kid whined "I don't want to!", and then he was promptly eaten by the giant crocodile. All that in under two minutes! Hopefully this'll hit DVD eventually, but in the meantime, should any of you Time Warner patrons catch it, fill me in.



Also appearing on Time Warner's Video-on-Demand is Something Beneath, starring Kevin "Hercules" Sorbo as...err, some guy. Again, I caught the trailer, and again, I say, fie thee, Time Warner! Thou art verily a tease. Forsooth.

It seems there's a sentient alien organism living in the sewer beneath a secluded hotel. "Bah, who cares?" you say. Then I counter with "The alien is all blobby and it comes out of pipes and stuff and it looks like the crap from 'The Lake' in Creepshow 2 and in the trailer this lady says 'All that comes out of the sink is goo- goo and more goo!' and that alone made me want to see this movie. What can I say, I'm easy. Hell, you should see me after a glass of Riunite on ice...it's so nice!"

From the "Nooooooooo!" department: I picked up a copy of Strays on VHS for $1.49. Man, I was gonna tell you all about it, because I know it was gonna be awesome: killer kitty cats. That's all I need to hear, and I'm sold. SOLD!

I get the movie home, unwrap the shrink wrap. Co-Habit-Tron 3000 and I settle in for some murderous feline action, and hmm. The movie looks odd. What the-? Some a-hole put a copy of Strange Days in the Strays box. Did they not have time to read the entire fucking title, and so they stopped at "Stra--"? Has there ever been a sadder story in the history of ever? No...no there has not.


From the "Holy fucking fuck!" department: in the wee hours of this morning, I experienced my first earthquake. It was about 5 seconds long and Co-Habit-Tron 3000, who grew up in Los Angeles, was not terribly phased by it. I, on the other hand, was alternating between abject terror and a feeling something like "That was the coolest thing evarrrrrr!" for a good half hour.

Victoria Principal and her afro were nowhere to be found.

Update: Wow, I'm such a survivor! 5 seconds, 20 seconds...meh. By the time I understood what was happening, it was over. I thought maybe I was just brushing my teeth way too hard.

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