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Wednesday, May 7, 2008

the wednesday dee cee cab

There are at least seven disturbing things in the photo above- see if you can find them all!

Well, another Wednesday means another AMC column. That being the case, oh won't you head over there to read my treatise on killer cars? Writing it made me think about the fact that I haven't reviewed any killer car movies here and I totally should. The Car is being released this week on DVD; no time like the prezzie, I always say.

No, I don't talk about Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! in the column, so yes, the above picture really has nothing to do with anything beyond the fact that I'm getting the itch to watch it again, stat. I swear, that movie is like water or crack: if I don't have some with frequent regularity, I will simply DIE.

Why, oh why have they gone and cast Tom Atkins in the remake of My Bloody Valentine? Between the Atkinsosity and the 3-Dness, it's getting so I want to see the film. Excuse me, but I am a blogger. I write on The Internet. As such, it is my duty to remain negative, to bash films sight unseen and to take no joy whatsoever from this hobby of mine. I'm not supposed to look forward to movies, or to say "Hey, that sounds swell. Yes, I will go see it upon the time it opens at my local multiplex! I will make a true experience of it by also purchasing a snack, although I will shun the "better value" extra-extra-large soda. Perhaps it is true that getting 9843256 more ounces for 0.19 additional cents is a great value, but if I partake of that much soda then surely I'll need to use the bathroom frequently during the movie, and I'm so looking forward to it that I don't want to miss even a second! My Twizzlers, however, I purchase in advance at a local candyorium, saving myself upwards of $76 by making the extra effort and not buying directly from the theatre. You know, I should really read the ingredients on the back of the Twizzlers package- I wonder if they contain gelatin? As a vegetarian, gelatin is a no-no and BOY do they sneak it in to the most unassuming places! I have to freshen my breath with mints that are not Altoids; at Halloween I ate some Starburst only to find out that they contain animal parts- the same is true for the Rice Krispie Treats a friend brought to my party last week. Well, they weren't "Rice Krispie Treats", they were Ralph's brand "Marshmallow Munchies", but, you know...same difference. Isn't it interesting when a product brand name becomes the name of the product itself? Like Kleenex or Xerox. Someone might say, "Excuse me, can I Xerox this paper?" when there's no Xerox machine involved, or perhaps "Say, would you be so kind as to hand me a Kleenex?" rather than using the word "tissue". Isn't it interesting? ISN'T IT?"

Umm.

Apparently there are several clips from The Strangers floating around Yon Internet, but I'm avoiding them completely. I want to go into that one completely blind beyond the trailer I've seen. I'm not reading articles, I'm not checking out stills- the movie is dead to me until it hits theatres at the end of this month! I like things better that way.

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