total liquidation! everything must go!

I tend to associate the term "liquidation sale" with furniture stores. Yet, here I am using said term without owning a furniture store. That's called life on the EDGE, my friends!

Anyway, I'm liquidating a bunch of paintings I have sitting around. I did them just because, and now I'm tired of looking at them. I could just throw them on eBay, but selling stuff on eBay is kind of a drag. I've reduced the asking price on these in my efforts to LIQUIDATE. I want them out of my house!

FYI, all proceeds will go to FREE FINAL GIRL- or, to be specific, to pay the fucking jaywalking ticket I got. For those of you who may not know the story because you are not my fake cyber Facebook or Twitter friends (why aren't you?), yes- I got a jaywalking ticket. I crossed an intersection- in the crosswalk but against the light BECAUSE THERE WERE NO CARS AND WHY SHOULD I JUST STAND THERE IF THERE ARE NO CARS- and a motorcycle cop "pulled me over" and wrote me a ticket. It was a very stupid HA HA matter until the ticket arrived in the mail with a YOU OWE $174 on it. Yes, one hundred and seventy four dollars, for crossing the street. Fine, for crossing illegally, but I thought that as an able-minded adult, I could cross the street of my own volition when it was safe.

Anyway, so money will go towards that. Here are the paintings I have sitting around. I also take commissions, if you want something to, you know, match your couch like all good art should. I guess I could even take sketch card commissions at this point. FREE FINAL GIRL!

Reduced prices are below, but there will be an extra $15 added for shipping (U.S. ONLY). Email me at stacieponder at gmail dot com if you're interested or to inquire about commissions. First come, first served!

Black Christmas 12" x 12" acrylic on canvas $50

Saw 12" x 12" acrylic on canvas $65

Bioshock: Big Daddy 12" x 12" acrylic on canvas $65

Bioshock: Little Sister 12" x 12" acrylic on canvas $65

*Buy both Big Daddy and Little Sister for $120!

Phantom of the Opera 12" x 12" acrylic on canvas $65

Deep Throat 16" x 20" acrylic on canvas $110

Gill Man 20" x 24" acrylic on canvas $125

The Thing 20" x 24" acrylic on canvas $125

for the THING lover in your life!

Treat him or her to this luscious 20" x 24" acrylic-on-canvas painting by moi!

Put a little MacReady in your home today! Fits with any decor. Don't believe me? Then behold!

art blitz super sale redux!

First of all, don't forget: Monday is Film Club Day! It's been a long time a-comin', I know. Are you psyched for...The Devil's Rain? I am. Watch it, write it up, send a link to me at stacieponder at gmail dot com and join the gang!

Hey, remember that time when I had a TOTALLY INSANE FIRE SALE on my stick figure art? Huh, do ya? No? Oh. Hmm. I was under the impression that you were hanging on my every word, but I guess I was wrong. Oh well. Click here to travel back into the past and learn all about it! Then come back here to the present.

Back? Good. Now then, the point of this is, I'm having another sale. 3 cards for $30! Hooray! Check out my gallery full of samples to see what's in store for ya...though the subject matter of your cards is (doy doy) up to you.


I'm also open for painting commissions- you can check out my gallery here. Email me to talk price, as size obviously varies.

"Take me home!"

You're probably not wondering why I'm having a Sale of Madness, but I'll tell you anyway. This morning I woke up to a dead computer monitor. No power, no nothin'. I kind of need one to use my desktop computer, which has...well, my whole GD life on it! All the programs I use for movie editing, scanning...really, everything, is on my desktop. Right now I'm using my Wicked Old Laptop, which has internet, MS Word, and Screenwriter, which means I can't do much.

So...art for sale = money = monitor. There you go. I'm not sure what variety of whore this makes me, although I'm sure I'm one with a heart of gold!

LUDLOW something something

I made this while I was dumping footage onto my computer. Working on a painting of the same image for...whatever reason.

It's so Dawn of the Dead-y, although that wasn't my intention going in. I don't even know if I had any intentions going in- it was just for fun. As was this painting, which is now sitting over in the corner:

So...I don't know. If anyone out there wants to buy a Gill-Man (The Creature Waves Hello!) or commission something else entirely, hit me up with an email. You can check out more over at the gallery on my website. Paintings make great gifts!

I assume. I mean, no one's ever bought me one, so I wouldn't really know.

*tear*

Go see Drag Me To Hell this weekend!!

easy like Friday mornin'

Last night (or this morning, if you want to get all semantical about it), I went to see Underworld: Rise of the Lycans so I could review it for AMC. I can't say I was overly enthused; beyond the catch a 12:10am show, then immediately write a review aspect of it, I knew next to nothing about the franchise and I didn't think it would be my cup of tea at all. How did I fare? How did the movie fare? Did I enjoy it, or did I want to kill myself? Read and find out, lest Rhona Mitra stab you with that pointy thing!

There's some new art posted over at my website- namely, a commission I recently completed: Miike's Audition.

No, I still haven't seen it. Yes, I'm a wicked big lame. I'd say I'd watch it tonight, but tonight Battlestar Galactica holds my heart and my mind captive.

Yes, I'm also a nerd...oh, come on. Like you didn't know that already.

who likes to buy stuff?

The answer is: EVERYBODY except perhaps Ebenezer Scrooge. Yes, children, it's that time of the year when people spend money they don't have buying gifts for people they don't really like out of obligation. So, I say unto thee, BEHOLD, for today is a grand day for a Grand Opening, is it not? Boils and ghouls, I give you, my brand newAmazon shop!

Take a look around, why don'tcha? Mayhaps you'll find that special something for that special someone. There's a permanent link over yonder in mah sidebar, so anytime you've got the itch to buy something from Amazon- which happens to me all the time- just come on in. I'll be adding stuff all the time, so check back if you feel like it. Or don't, if you're not cool enough.

If this was a real Grand Opening and not just a cyber one, I'd have cupcakes and fruit punch for you, I swear. Maybe even a barbershop quartet or a small brass band! Certainly the Mayor would be in attendance, and he'd hand me those giant novelty scissors with which I'd cut the ribbon that'd be draped across the front door of my shop; then everyone in the town square would let out a cheer, and people would rush in and buy so many copies of Sssss that I'd be able to pay my rent! "Hooray!" they'd yell..."Hooray!" and the crowd would lift me up and I've feel even prettier and more popular than Courtney Thorne-Smith of television's Melrose Place did when she was crowned The Dairy Princess in the made-for-TV thriller Midwest Obsession. Later on the mayor would hand me a Proclamation on REAL PAPER stating that December 2nd is, in fact, Final Girl Day, and he'd also give me the key to the city, which I didn't even know was my life's dream until right this very second.

Uh, anyway.

You know what else people love to receive for ChristmaKwanzaKkah? REAL ART! Yes, it's true. Giving art to your nearest and dearest for the holidays makes you seem classy. Why not commission a painting from moi before time runs out? Why, these fine works adorn some of the finest walls in all the land; doesn't that make you want to yell "Me too!" or something?



I realize this is an awful lot of pimping and I feel a little gross about it, but then again I'm broke. Happy holidays!

urgh! (a new blog post)

I say unto me, woe, my friends, for October has come and gone with nary a peep from yours truly. NARY A PEEP I SAY! It's a sad state of affairs, to be sure, when my most favoritest time of the year fails to spark a fire in me. But spark it did not! I've been experiencing...not exactly writer's block, per se, but rather, perhaps, writer's blah...as well as watcher's blah. Supreme unmotivation. I've hardly watched anything lately, and when I have managed to park it ("it" meaning "my ass") in front of a movie, it hasn't been horror-related. Sure, the recent Lifetime Movie Network Tori Spelling double feature got me all ten kinds of pumped (umm...back-to-back Co-Ed Call Girl and Awake to Danger, y'all...that's some mid-90s primo Tori action right there! Oh my god, I love Co-Ed Call Girl, especially when Tori's pimp starts talking about the incredible power she seems to have over men...), but that's not really Final Girl fodder. Or is it?

Meh. Though I haven't been jazzed enough lately to put cyber-pen to cyber-paper, I suppose it's time to get back on the cyber-horse. Maybe November can become the new October or something, and my love affair with horror movies will burst into passionate flames once more and I'll wonder why we ever spent a moment apart. Recommend something for me in the comments and maybe sparks will fly.

Lest you think I've simply been sitting here staring at the wall instead of posting, let me assure you: that's only 68% true. I've still been giving AMC their weekly dose of me...I just haven't been talking about it here. But today is the first day of the rest of my life, yes? Yes! So here are links to all the columns I've neglected to mention in recent...holy crap, in recent weeks. Fucking A, I suck!

- I wrote about William Castle and the lost art of gimmick movie-making.

- I created a DIY slashers guide, expanding a bit on my original Slashers 101 series.

- Great moments in gore, y'all.

- Resident Evil! I love Resident Evil!

- A wee recommendations guide.

- I reviewed Roger Corman's The Haunted Palace, starring Vincent Price and Lon Chaney, Jr. It's currently available to watch at amctv.com.

So, I've been writing. I've also been working some Ghostella's Haunted Tomb "magic"; I'd finished and uploaded the season finale, only to discover a need for reshoots. It's totally my fault and it's not really a big deal, but it's a pain in the arse all the same and the episode won't be up until next week, most likely. I can totally tease you about it, though, by saying this: I've got a special guest star! My special guest star is Lena Headey! Yes, the same Lena Headey who stars as Sarah Connor in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Yes, the same Lena Headey who starred as Queen Gorgo in 300. Yes (and perhaps most importantly), the same Lena Headey who starred as a super-sexy cave-diving scientist in The Cave. Lena Headey in Ghostella's Haunted Tomb? As the kids today might say, WTF? I wouldn't believe it either if I were you, but here's some photographic evidence in the form of a "screen" "cap" from the film.

I don't know why I put that in quotes; this really is a screencap.


I know; I still don't believe it, either.

So there's that. I've also been painting a bit. For all my fellow BioShock nerds out there, I made this set: a Little Sister and a Big Daddy:


FYI for all you citizens of Squaresville out there, BioShock is a video game.

I made this dizzazzling set for a friend's birthday: it's 4 glass coasters that double as picture frames, featuring Television's Greatest Geriatric Detectives!




Neat, huh? The pictures are about 1.5" square, and they come in the sweet-n-spinny holder rack thingy. If anyone is interested in...say, a set featuring horror type folks or what have you (I mean, like, coasters featuring Freddy, Michael, Jason, and Leatherface? Or Universal Monsters? Fuck yeah!), just get in touch with me. I'm open for coaster commissions and painting commissions, and I've got galleries on my MySpace and Facebook pages for you social networking goons out there.

Anytinkle, that's about that. Yeah, I think it's high time I made out with Final Girl again, don't you think? I've been so lax I have nary a clue as to what's going on in the horror world at all; I haven't checked the news in weeks. What have I missed? Have they remade the remake of Dawn of the Dead yet? Is Saw MCMVII due anytime soon? I'm so out of the loop; let's catch up over a coffee, preferably one from Dunkin' Donuts.

Oh, and one more thing before I go: You probably haven't heard much about it, but tomorrow is Election Day here in the US. I don't know what your political stripe is, and (aduh and adoy) Final Girl isn't about politics. Regardless, I'm urging any Californians out there to vote NO on Proposition 8. Let's not make discrimination legal, okay?

Here's one particularly eye-opening TV spot, which just so happens to star someone you're probably familiar with by now, Bridget McManus (stand up comedian, talk show host, Final Girl Film Club member, Ghostella's Haunted Tomb star, and my pal).



Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find something to watch.

whamola

The Powers That Be have finally posted the newest episode of Ghostella's Haunted Tomb, "The Tape". It's my Rope! Kind of, in a way. You'll see. Maybe. Or not. Geez, what's your problem?

In other news, I wanted to post this painting I did for a friend's birthday- I've briefly spoken about the amazingness of Weng Weng in the past, so it was only a matter of time before I found an excuse to immortalize him on canvas. He's such a petite potato!

As always, you can see more of my paintings in my MySpace gallery, and I'm free for commissions. Well, I mean I'm free when I'm not out doing exciting, danger and intrigue-filled things. Doy.

The Wednesday BFF

Holy friggin' frig, I've been gone so long...so long, I don't even know where to start. Where have I been? Take your pick- one or more of these might even be true!

1) I was stuck in a fugue of blog ennui
2) I was stuck in front of my Xbox 360 playing Grand Theft Auto IV
3) I was stuck working, working, working
4) I was stuck where the sun don't shine
5) I was stuck on you, and you didn't even notice
6) I was stuck in between my glass shower doors after I slipped and fell getting out of the tub, just like that morbidly obese woman I saw once on Sally Jessy Raphael. I was on the phone with my friend Brandi and we were both watching it and after recounting her tale of getting stuck in between the doors, the woman said "I could have died", which is really kind of preposterous if you think about it.

So, one or more of those. Yes, I have neglected FG for far too long, but let's not dwell on that. Let's live in the NOW, which is all fresh and exciting!


Umm, okay. You know what, Charles Nelson Reilly? That really doesn't help matters. I've acknowledged my lameness and I'm moving on. We're all moving on, and I think you should, too. Existing in the now and all that. Thus, let's get on with it! This is gonna be a big one, so look out!

*that's what she said*

ITEM! It's Wednesday. You know what that means by now, right? It's AMC day! Head over to read all about horror movie moms. Because last Sunday was Mother's Day, and I'm all ten kinds of timely and shit.

ITEM! Look what I made! See? I was busy while I was away. I got another commission and I made it a reality. Go, Cthulhu, go! RARR!

As always, check out my MySpace gallery to see what's available, or get in touch with me to request your own Very Special Painting. These are 12" x 12". These are $100, including shipping. These are fun to do.

ITEM! Thanks to a terribly kind and enterprising reader (and owner of an awesome horror website), I have finally seen [REC].

Hotchie motchie, I fucking loved it. LOVED IT I SAY. The word "ride" is used to describe an awful lot of films on posters and whatnot- "an action-packed thrill ride" or some such shit, but it's incredibly rare when the word actually applies. I think it absolutely applies here- once the action kicked in, [REC] didn't let up. Only when it was over did I realize I'd been holding my breath; seriously, the last...oh, ten minutes or so had me curled up, clutching a pillow, and not breathing. It was fucking awesome. It's not a film that I want to pick apart, to analyze and review- it was more of an experience I want to savor. Horror movies can be so damn unscary, that when one comes along that scares the bejesus out of me (and this one did- I actually had a nightmare about it. I don't have nightmares! I woke up and I was all freaked out and I didn't want to open my eyes and I couldn't go back to sleep), I want to hug it and treasure it and cram the DVD down my pants. I will say, however, that it's one of the very best (if not THE best) "found footage" films I've seen. The sound design was amazing. It was so fucking intense!

I'm not sure whether or not I'll bother with the forthcoming remake, although I am terribly curious to see what's done with it.

Is it bad that I wanted to type "I am terribly curious to see how much Hollywood fucks it up"? Yes, that's bad. Don't be a hater, Stacie!

THE BIGGEST ITEM OF ALL!

NO, REALLY!

Okay, so listen to this. I review movies and blog a bit for a website called After Ellen (yes, I blog for other sites, as you know. Seriously, I need to have an outlet for my love of America's Next Top Model and I doubt you people want to read about it here...unless Leatherface is a guest judge or something). Well, After Ellen and Logo recently sponsored a contest calling for a new webseries to premiere on both sites, the only rules for which were basically 1) it must be rated PG and 2) there must be some lesbian content. Thought I, "I will enter this contest!" and I did. Knowing me as you do, surely you figure that my series would be horror related, yes? Yes!

WHO LOVES LESBIANS AND HORROR MOVIES AND ANY COMBINATION THEREOF?

The whole entire world, that's who!

See? Everybody!

So, I created a webseries, made 3 episodes of said webseries, entered the contest, and was crowned RUNNER UP in said contest. I'm super pleased, as I figured I didn't stand a chance in hell because...well, horror can be a bit of a tough sell to some crowds, never mind crappy horror films. As my prize, I get to...uh, make ten more episodes, which will be shown on After Ellen and Logo Online.

EPISODES OF WHAT?

Episodes of Ghostella's Haunted Tomb, that's what! Here's the deal: Ghostella is a bargain basement Elvira-wannabe who hosts awful B- and Z-grade lesbian horror movies from her garage. Each episode, clocking in at under 20 minutes, will feature a complete B- or Z-grade lesbian horror movie (written and directed by moi) as well as Ghostella's antics. That's kind of an awesome idea, right?

Ghostella tries her best

The series launches today! There's a little interview with me talking about the series right here, which includes a link to the first episode. Ghostella presents Taste of Flesh, Taste of Fear, a true schlockfest of lesbian vampire erotica all the way from 1968.

Lesbian vampires! Who knew?

Episodes will run every Wednesday, which means I have a lot more short horror films to make. HOORAY! I'll let be sure to post here whenever a new episode is up. Ghostella rules!

hurr hurr looka him

So this guy sent me an email, right? And he was all, "If I pay you, will you paint a picture of Baghead Jason from Friday the 13th Part 2?" and I was like "Fuck yeah!" and then he did and then I did and then here it is:

Yay paintings!

like, more stuff and stuff

So remember a while back when I posted pictures of all those paintings I did? Well, last night I was a machine and I polished off all the remaining canvases in the house. And this time I even cleaned up the photographs to make 'em all purdy!



I created a 'paintings' album over at my MySpace profile which includes all the other monster paintings cleaned up all nice-like, plus some older pieces like THE SPICE GIRLS. Fuck yeah. So click and go look or something. Then buy some paintings so I can afford more canvas and get back to work!

DISCLAIMER: idea for "painting" totally stolen from cavemen at Lascaux

like, stuff and stuff

I have nothing pertinent to address today, so I figured I'd use this opportunity to show you some stuff. WOW CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT?

When I'm not writing for Final Girl or doing noble things for The Children, I enjoy engaging in various hobbies, such as pointing out old people on the street or painting. The former is something we must do together live and in person, but as to the latter, well, I can show you the fruits of my labors right here and now! WOW CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT? Here's some paintings I done did- all are acrylics on 12" x 12" canvas. For you trivia nuts out there, '12" x 12" ' is also known as a "square".








That dingy yellow-looking color is actually white...it's Monday and I'm far too lazy to tweak these photos in PhotoShop. Anyway, I think Christopher Lee is my favorite.

In other WOW CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT? news...

SIIIIIGH. I have no idea what I'll do with it or how long it will last, but there you go. Make with the addening!