Friday the Tatteenth

I don't know about you, but I can't think of a single better way to celebrate Friday the 13th than by posting 15 pictures of Friday the 13th tattoos.

"But Stacie," you say, "Don't you think a better way might be to post 13 pictures of Friday the 13th tattoos? You know, to have the list be more thematically sound?"

"Hmm, you're right," I reply. "I wish I'd thought of that, but it's far too late now!"

Behold...15 Friday the 13th tattoos!

once more, with feeling

Yes, my friends, let's do the The Product Dance one more time! I have a feeling, however- a feeling I'm hooked on, in fact- that this third time will be the charm. Why? Because I'm not selling things through Zazzle. Why else? Because I tried to set something up in CafePress and it was an ugly, unwieldy clusteryouknowwhat of epic proportions. All of these failure-lined roads led me to Printfection, where I easily made a store. A store with a nice (if fairly barren at this point) page! A store with different sections! A store I can organize and personalize! A store where I can sell this!


I swear, every time I think I've seen the ultimate product, I see a new one that is ultimate-er. So, check it out. There are shirts of all sorts and drinkware of a few sorts. I'm trying to boost my necromancy stats so I will be able to sell "dark shirts". I know how horror types prefer shirts that swing on the dark side, so I'll let you know when they're available. In the meantime, browse around. Or don't. It's your life.

round 2...FIGHT!

EDITED TO ADD: Fucking Zazzle pulled my shit again. I have no idea how these could possibly have been copyright infringing, but apparently they are.

In related news, fuck you, Zazzle.

Okay, I'm having a second go at some Zazzle stuff with minor changes. Also additions, though, so all is not lost! While the Friday the 13th t-shirt is not available, there are some character shirts up. Like this one!


Mugs are also back. Honestly, I love the Mark stein I posted yesterday, but the Fox stein is total win.



There are t-shirts and mugs available for: Mark, Fox, Banana Girl, Steve Christy, Eddie, and Crazy Ralph. The products aren't all showing up in my store yet, so, for now:

They're all customizable, so if you want, say, a Banana Girl travel mug that you can hoist as you flip off hitchhikers, you can make that dream a reality.

Hooray! Get 'em while they're hot, before The Man pulls 'em from the shelves! I don't think they will this time, however, because I'm all ten kinds of crafty about it.

NOW! BY OVERWHELMING* DEMAND!

*two people asked

alright then!

UPDATE: Don't order anything! Nothing is for sale! Read this. I'm sorting it out.

You know, whenever I post one of my Illustrated Guides to the Deaths in Friday the 13th (Part Whatever), someone suggests putting the pictures on a t-shirt. Okay, I did it. Look at this dude!


He's so happy in his overpriced t-shirt, isn't he? Yeah, this is now for sale at Zazzle.com now effing unavailable- as it's a vanity press, the prices are not low. Someday, when I wish upon a star, I will be able to make my own shirts and they will be cheaper. For now, though, this is what we've got!

Then I made a couple of other things, too, including these mugs:


Then I went even further and put Mark on a beer stein because...well, the idea of a cartoon drawing of a wheelchair-bound dude with a machete in his head on a GD stein just tickled me too much not to make it a reality. I don't expect anyone to actually buy these things, but the picture makes it all worth it. When I have a castle, however, rest assured- I will have a complete collection of Friday the 13th steins.

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

I have no idea why Blogger makes these two different sizes all the time (though you can click to embiggen both of them). Science is a mystery to me!

Also, man...some of these were tough to draw all stick-i-fied (Nikki looks like a ghost, and Sheriff Garris looks like he's being intimate relationed to death or something). It's kind of interesting- though the deaths get more and more outrageous as the series progresses, they also become far less explicit, usually happening very quickly or off-screen altogether- the camera will cut to Jason as he's stabbing someone or the stabbing happens just out of frame. Yes. Kind of interesting indeed.

Other F13 Illustrated Guides:

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five

and just who in the hell...

...paid for this?


Well, at least he was buried in a legit cemetery...not like that side of the road BS where his mom ended up.

Edited to add: In the comments for the post about Mrs V's grave, someone comments that in the fandom, it was established that Mr. Voorhees buried both his wife and Jason. That's fine, but in the movies, they're just...buried. Even a throwaway line about it would be appropriate, methinks.

Friday the 13th Part V: A New Beginning

As always, clicken ze big-big.

In Friday the 13th Part V, the death count rises exponentially over all previous entries in the series...as does the number of instances where people sing to themselves. COINCIDENCE?


Other F13 Illustrated Guides:

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

The Year in Horror: 1986

I can't do math. I know, this is not at all shocking. After all, I'm a girl and it's just a fact that girls can't do math. However, I took that concept to moronic new highs (or lows) recently when I had a bright idea for a post topic. See, the idea had something to do with choosing a movie released 25 years ago- I figured it'd be easy, as 25 years ago was, what...1967? '68? Something like that. Maybe I'd write about Night of the Living Dead or Rosemary's Baby or something else equally ca-lassic. Just when I smushed my face up all thinking really hard-style about which movie to choose, however, my brain slapped me across the face. What kind of time-warp shit was going on? My brain was all, "Bitch, 1968 is more than forty years ago. Where are you getting this "25 years" from? 25 years ago, it was 1986. Idiot! Now ice me up some cream."

Apparently in my world, the last decade or so has not occurred. 1986! Nineteen eighty effing six! It doesn't seem possible that it was 1986 25 years ago- especially since I am only 23 myself- but I assure you...I have consulted my science calculator and it is most certainly the case.

Then I got a bit whiny. 1986? No good movies came out in 1986. Nothing good whatsoever came out of 1986! The mid-eighties were a cultural wasteland! They were nothing but a big, dark pit filled with Glass Tiger cassettes, snap bracelets, and Z Cavaricci pants. Why, it's shudder-inducing, I tells ya!

This line of thinking was interrupted by yet another wallop from my brain- "1986 was actually a damn good year for horror, you dolt. Now where's that ice cream?" My brain is right about that, mostly. Take my hand, won't you, and let's travel back a whopping 25 years to 1986!

The sequels

Okay, the sequels that hit in '86 were very comme ci, comme ça if you know what I mean. Some are classics of cinema- such as Aliens, in which one Ellen Ripley became a bona fide example of the elusive "strong female character" and my burning dislike of Paul Reiser was born.


Then other sequels...well, the Friday the 13th series pooped out its sixth entry, Jason Lives, a film that is more beloved than it deserves simply because it had the good sense to be released after the dreadful Part V: A New Beginning. I cannot speak knowledgeably on Lamberto Bava's Demons 2, but someday I hope to rectify that. That's right, someday! Someday I'll see it, I just know I will! Verily, I brought a big bag of hope to this blog post.

Poltergeist II is...well, it's there and it's worth a watch, not the least reason why is the tequila worm scene (if you haven't seen it, I'll leave that up to your imagination). 1986 also brought us The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, which is not like the first one, I'll give it that. Psycho 3 brought about a bit of WTF-ery with its "Oh, wait...is this a black comedy?" approach, and the less said about Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf, the better...but Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 is another matter entirely. Friends, it's always Garbage Day in my heart.

The slashers

While the films of Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, and Michael Myers would be churned out for years to come, by 1986 the slasher film was in its death throes and original films within the genre were scarce. Mind you, if the so bad I forgot I even saw it 1986 flick Terror at Tenkiller is any indication, the demise of the slasher was probably a good thing. On the other hand, April Fools Day also hit in '86, and we all know how much I love that movie. I SAID WE ALL KNOW.

Ahem. Oh yeah, and remember that time I made a whole bunch of you watch Slaughter High for Film Club? That was fun. Shut up, Slaughter High is the best movie ever even though it stinks. I mean, "C'mon you guys, let's par-deeeeeeee!"...how can you not want to marry it?

The sci-fi-ers

I'm not sure why, but sci-fi/horror movies were big, big, big in 1986. I mentioned Aliens, but let's not forget David Cronenberg's The Fly, which holds up remarkably well despite the dueling fluff-mullets of Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis. In the words of Pauline Kael, "That shit be classic, yo." Besides, I'm pretty sure that disliking Geena Davis in any capacity will put you on Homeland Security's radar as probably a terrorist.

Stuart Gordon rode the freaky train to H.P. LovecraftTown (I don't know what that means) with From Beyond, which scarred my young brain in several capacities. Critters did their thing in Critters, Martian invaders invaded in Invaders from Mars (from Tobe Hooper!). There were wicked huge gorillas running amok in Link and King Kong Lives (which, the particularly astute among you may notice is also a sequel). And then there was Night of the Creeps. Thrill me, indeed.

More, more, more

Look, I have no idea if Wes Craven's Deadly Friend is good, bad, neither, or somewhere in between. I have not seen it since I saw it 50,000,000 times when it came out and all I really remember is this: Kristy Swanson getting pushed down the stairs by her father was some high fucking tragedy, and Anne Ramsey gets her head blowed up real good by a high-speed basketball. Other than that? I have no idea. Those memories themselves may be erroneous! I suppose I could watch it again to see, but I'd almost rather have it live in my memories, only brought to the fore about when someone says "Have you seen Deadly Friend?", to which I will emphatically reply "I LOVE THAT MOVIE!" even though that should probably be in the past tense. Loved. I loved that movie.

Man, The Hitcher, amiright? Good, good stuff. And that scene. You know the one. This one, which also qualified as high tragedy to my young mind:


I can't believe I never really thought about it much before my recent math...problem, but y'all, 1986! It gave us gold, it gave us crap. Witchboard, House, Gothic (I frickin' hate Gothic. I've tried and I've tried, and I just do not like it. Is it me? I feel like that movie is beloved, at least on a cult level, though the reasons for this obviously escape me), Maximum Overdrive (!!!), Trick or Treat, Troll...those really were the days and this journey down Memory Lane sure was fun. Next up, I'll celebrate the 5th anniversary of 1978!

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter

I like to pretend she's listed in the credits as "Banana Girl" instead of "Hitchhiker", so there you go. Also, Jason came out looking sort of like Meatwad, I just realized. Also also, there's a lot of defenestrations in this film. Also also also, Jason is very (literally) hands on with almost everyone in The Final Chapter, so we get plenty of looks at his Lee Gross-On Nails.

Other F13 Illustrated Guides:

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Friday the 13th Part 3

A few notes!

1. Some of these were tough to capture well- in particular Andy and Rick. I'm not completely satisfied with them (looks like someone is putting headphones or nice soft buns on Rick's head), but alas. There are idiosyncrasies with this drawing style that I haven't quite worked out yet in all instances (like, how do I put pants on these guys? Andy's not nude, he's wearing jeans!). One lives, one learns!
2. In case you didn't notice, I've been putting them in order of when they're killed, but if they're killed offscreen, I put 'em basically when they are discovered.
3. Chili: she's been stabbed in the gut with a hot poker, and that's the sizzle rising, not farts.
4. Poker? I hardly knew her!
5. I did not put "and fetus" with Debbie because that's sort of depressing. Also, because I figured it went without saying.
6. Fox FTW.
7. For Friday the 13th Part One, click here. For Part Two, click here.
   

Friday the 13th Part 2

For Part One, click here!

I don't care...

...how trashy these GD movies are! Baghead Jason popping out of bed and getting all stabby is scary. That is all.

Friday the 13th

clicken ze big big

I don't know why, but there you go. Yes, I'll be doing the other F13 films as well. Again, I don't know why, but there you go!

Huh. Weird.

So, you know how I do this weekly cartoon called Toosday Toons for AfterEllen, yeah? No? Well, I do. There's a link to the TT archive in the sidebar over yonder, but maybe you never look over there. That's okay. I wouldn't, either.

Anyway, this week's Toon is all about Murder, She Wrote (that's right, my topics be timely!)...and while you may be all "Yeah? So?" with regards to that information (understandable, as this is a horror blog and all), I thought it might be worth mentioning. Why? HOLD ON AND I'LL TELL YOU.

Whilst drawing the day away, I couldn't help but shake a funny feeling every time my stick figure Jessica Fletcher appeared in a panel. I don't mean the funny feeling in my pants- that was expected. No, what I mean is the funny feeling that she bore a striking resemblance to someone with whom the horror crowd is undoubtedly familiar. Behold! Jessica Fletcher...

...with the addition of a simple prop, becomes...

Mrs. Voorhees!

Perhaps this is not noteworthy at all and it's just a demonstration of my poor drawing abilities. That's fine. However, it does create wonderful scenarios to imagine, such as Mrs. Voorhees riding a bike around Maine and solving mysteries, or Jessica Fletcher hacking up horny teens with an axe.Hooray!