Stila's Cherry Crush

For years we've kept Stila's convertible color in poppy in our bag. It quickly brightens up your cheeks and lips and wakes up a tired face mid-day (or at the end of a long flight). In fact, we intended to pick up a replacement when we stumbled upon the new cherry crush lip and cheek stain. It too has that marvelous double personality. The application is slightly less messy (at least for your lips you can use the brush alone). It contains cherry and pomegranate extracts and has a sweet scent and slight taste as well, both are pleasant. The results: sheer and bright on the apples of our cheeks and similar finish on our lips. We use a gloss over the lip stain since the finish is a bit dry. (Stila recommends using the cherry mint plumping lip glaze, we used Kiehl's Lip Balm #1.) Want to finish the look? Wear liquid black liner in your upper lid only and a healthy amount of black mascara.

Free shipping at Stila on any order that contains Cherry Crush with the code: CHERRYCRUSH.

VHS Week, Day 4: Humongous

I don't think I'm supposed to like Humongous quite as much as I do.

The main arguments against this 1982 film, director Paul Lynch's follow-up to Prom Night, are that it's boring, derivative, and devoid of scares. I can see how those would be valid criticisms or how one might end up with that opinion of Humongous, and yet- that's not how I view the film at all. Does that make any sense? It's a bit like seeing Fabio and thinking "Yes, I understand how people might find him attractive, but I myself do not."

In related news, I wonder whether or not anyone's been able to convince Fabio that the delicious, cholesterol-free, buttery spread he so enjoys is not, in fact, butter.

Back on topic! Humongous. It opens in that most predictable way: with a rape. It's Labor Day Weekend in 1946 and a drunken reveler forces himself on a young woman whose family is hosting the party. Her trusty German Shepherds come to her rescue and attack the attacker; she finishes him off with a rock.

I was checking out some reviews of the film earlier, and virtually every one railed against Lynch for shooting the rape scene from the victim's POV. Apparently this technique makes viewers uneasy. Uncomfortable during a rape scene? Good. Why is that a problem?

36 years after that night, a small group of...err, teens, I guess, are leaving a house where I...uh, guess they were staying all summer and they're boating to...uh...well, it's all a little vague. Listen, picky, all you need to know is that this is a horror movie and all the major food groups are represented: the nice guy, the final girl, the slut, the nerd, and the jerk. The nice guy (Eric), the nerd (Carla), and the jerk (Nick) are siblings; the nice guy and the final girl (Sandy) are dating, as are the slut (Donna) and the jerk. Carla, meanwhile, is considerate enough to sport glasses in keeping with the film's title. I do so love a theme!

Whilst slowly navigating through heavy fog at night, our gang comes across Bert, whose motorboat has given up the ghost. They take him on board and when dogs begin to howl in the distance, he tells them the tale of The Weirdo Old Lady of Dog Island. It seems there's a mysterious woman who's secluded herself on an island and lives with a gazillion dogs. The locals don't know much about her- she only heads to the mainland twice a year for supplies, and no one dares set foot on the island for fear of her dogs.

Hmm...I wonder who she could be? Though we, the audience, know that The Weirdo Old Lady of Dog Island is the rape victim from 36 years back, the telling of the tale is spooky. It's creepy. What can I say? I get sucked in easily.

A few plot contrivances later and our gang's boat goes boom- man, the jerk is such a jerk- and everyone swims for...wait for it...the shores of Dog Island! It's all so very unpredictable...and as such, you probably know where all this is headed, right? The rape victim had a baby, the baby grew up to be humongous, Mr Humongous is deformed and hasn't been socialized, Mr Humongous kills teenagers for food- you know the drill.

As I said earlier, I'm not going to argue that Humongous isn't terribly derivative (one crucial scene apes Friday the 13th Part 2 like nobody's business); somehow, though, I find it effectively derivative. Lynch utilizes odd camera angles to disquiet the viewer and- for better or for worse- keeps Mr Humongous almost completely hidden throughout the film. This has the curious effect of making the film one about survival rather than one about killing. The focus is on the teens, who are trying to find a way off the island. While exploring the ol' Humongous Homestead, they come across photo albums, diaries, and dessicated corpses and they get their Scooby Gang on, piecing together the puzzle to figure out what they're up against. They even develop a grudging sympathy for the lurking monster, and so do we. The characters are, unfortunately (yet expectedly) drawn too thin to really care about, but it helps that the performances, while not spectacular, are rather understated for a slasher-style film. They're essentially stereotypes, but they're not broad caricatures.

The biggest shame about Humongous is that it's so damn dark...I mean really, really dark. So much so that you can't figure what's going on for...oh, I'd say at least 1/4 of the movie. It's definitely a problem, and some viewers may not have the patience to endure it. As for me, I plan to buy up all the Our Lady of Guadalupe candles in the Spanish food section at my local Ralph's, light 'em, and create a shrine with the hopes that this will bring about a DVD release of Humongous- a nice, cleaned-up-n-brightened version so I can see what I've been missing.

I like this movie. I honestly enjoy it, and not in an ironic way- although there are plenty of early '80s chunks of cheese (headbands, dancing, cassettes, and...uh, using one's bare boobs to keep someone warm) sprinkled throughout. I like the exploring of the run-down house, I like the stalking sequences, I like the atmosphere...I just like Humongous. Your results, however, may vary, as the 2.3/10 rating on imdb suggests.

briefs

- While you were sleeping, I went to see Disaster Movie and reviewed it for AMC. I think it was only because the hellish experience that was Demon of Paradise was still coursing through my veins that I didn't want to kill myself. So for that, I thank you, Demon of Paradise. Now get the eff out of my life forever! I seriously need to watch a quality movie before I find the nearest Grand Canyon and go all ten kinds of Thelma and Louise.

- Go visit my ol' pal Arbogast and check out his quasi-tribute to America's Next Top favorite caver, Beth, from The Descent. To avoid fainting, I must keep repeating, there are good movies out there...good movies out there...good movies out there...good movies out there...thanks for the reminder, Arbo! Beth rules and she rules hard.

- From the I weep for the children who are supposedly our future department: The Internets are all up in arms over the kinda sorta news that Vadim Perelman (The House of Sand and Fog) maybe kinda might helm the super possible Poltergeist remake. It's a fowl story, indeed, that Bloody-Disgusting has related. No one expressed their trepidation at the prospect more poignantly than commenter horrorchick81, however:

they need shot! y remake a GOOD classic horror/supernatural movie? who would star in it anyway everyone dies from them movies anyway bc of the poltergeist curse. there is noo way that this tupid ass remake will live up to the original even if they did get craig t nelson to reprise his role as stephen. anyone know what ever happened to that kid who played robbie in one an two?? i am soo signing it. never even seen house osf sand and fog so cant bitch bout the directer dude.

Verily...they need shot. And in case you were unaware of all the rumors of hauntings and curses surrounding the original Hooper/Spielberg production, horrorchick81 goes on to shed some light:

uh ya there is a thing as curse, how do you explain heather orourkes untimley/mysterious death??? the orignal cane/julian beck!? umm doninique dunnes (cant think of her name but she was robbies and carl annes sis in the first) death when she was strangeled by her boyfriend when i guess a friend/neighbor was litening to the poltergeist soundtrack?? taylor dying? that mysterious light when tangena got her pic. taken in the photograph?? to me that aint coincidence that is a curse so idk what u are talkin bout when u say there is no curses.

Maybe that's why I'm suddenly mired in bad movies when my week started out so well: there is a thing as curse. Who knew? I mean, besides horrorchick81, natch.

Now if you'll excuse me, I suddenly feel a burning desire to make some parse trees.

On Our Radar: Lavo at the Palazzo Las Vegas

The new Palazzo Resort in Las Vegas, the Venetian's sister property, opened the Lavo Nightclub this week. From the people who brought us Tao, Lavo is a three part space, from the lounge which is suited for early evening drinks and bites, to the restaurant specializing in Mediterranean fare from LA star chef Ludo Lefebvre, and finally across the bridge to the second floor nightclub. Open every night except Monday, closing in the wee hours and featuring hot DJ's like Vice, Berrie and Reach, Lavo is on our must list next time we're in town. Better yet, we'll be able to wear some of our fave gold sequin outfits and JSG Anne can have a reason to get that sexy number from Cusp she found.

The Sugarcane Boutique Nightclub also opened this month at the Palazzo. Located adjacent to the Sushisamba, Sugarcane has Latin and Asian influences- think Brazilian graffiti art and Japanese pop music in an industrial space. This one will have to pass inspection before we recommend it.

Have you been to these yet? If so, give us the scoop!

Cusp Gift With Purchase

One of our all-time fave stores, Cusp, is offering an organic tote bag filled with goodies from designers like Tina Turk, Nanette Lepore, Havianas and more (each bag is filled with different treats) when you make a purchase of $400+ now through September 2. Sure beats carrying a plastic bag!




We've been eyeing this Mint Jodi Arnold dress. We love the ombre, the traffic-stopping color, the flattering cap sleeves and the skinny belt.

VHS Week, Day 3: Demon of Paradise

As you may have noticed, I review a lot of movies here at Final Girl. Some of these movies are made of awesome, some are made of lame...this is to be expected. You take the good, you take the bad...you take them both and there, my friends, you have the facts of life. It's a rare film that crosses my path, however, that is so bad that I want to go back in time and stop myself from pushing play on the VCR. Even more rare is the film that makes me want to go back in time and stop myself from seeing the movie on the shelf...or further back in time so I can stop the filmmakers from beginning production. Or even further back so I can prevent the filmmakers' parents from having "intimate" "relations" so I can ensure the film will never get made.

This is how I feel about the 1987 Creature from the Black Lagoon wannabe Demon of Paradise.


Blah blah blah legend of prehistoric underwater lizard-man Akua blah blah oh no, he's really real blah blah blah let's follow the standard animal attack movie formula: we can't cancel the annual Parade Festival blah blah blah the scienceologist will save the day blah blah fucking blah.

Trust me, that description is way more exciting than what happens on screen. What happens on screen? NOTHING. So much nothing that when I looked over at one point and my viewing pals were asleep, I thought that maybe I was actually the one who fell asleep and I was having the most boring dream ever dreamed.

Let's take a look at some of the things I wrote whilst taking notes for this review:

• Reporter = die, please
• nothing happens. nothing happens some more. badly acted nothings happen.
• music = horrendous, always inappropriate
• more nothing happening = kill myself
• testing my resolve as a human being to overcome adversity and boredom
• why won't it end?
• hell = this
• when will it end?
• PLEASE END

Finally, it did end and I was left feeling like I'd just completed ten tours of 'Nam. Demon of Paradise was so bad then when the credits finally rolled I nearly went apoplectic, ranting and flipping it off so hard I'm surprised my middle finger didn't explode. There's no doubt that in those few moments, I could have legally been deemed a fire hazard- such was the white-hot intensity of my rage. I'm only shocked that lasers didn't shoot out of my eyeballs.

Oh, how Demon of Paradise angried up my blood! Why did Satan himself have to shit this movie into existence? Why did I have to see it in the 3-for-$5 bin at Video Hut? Why did the filmmakers not realize that a man in a rubber suit popping up out of the water every once in a while to wave at people off camera does not induce terror? Why did it have to be so boring that I couldn't even laugh at the waving monster?

Clearly, Demon of Paradise hates me as much as I hate it.

Originally, I didn't even want to bring the tape home with me: I really, really don't want this movie in my house. Since last night, however, I've reconsidered that stance and I think some good may actually come from this steaming pile of dook.

Some outreach program should take Demon of Paradise to all the Ebola clinics of the world and show one-minute clips to patients. Then they can say "See, Ebola patient? Your internal organs are liquifying and your face is being eaten away, but at least you don't have to endure the other 86 minutes of Demon in Paradise!", to which the Ebola sufferers will say "Hooray! I may have Ebola, but clearly my life could be a lot worse!"

Charla Krupp Has a Chic Twist on Traveling Outfits

At the launch party for Tide Total Care 7 Signs on Tuesday night, not only did we get to see celebs, including Jamie Lynn Sigler, Vanessa Minnillo and Lindsay Price, up close and personal, and check out the Empire Hotel's roof top bar (by far the coolest NYC hotel bar we've been to this summer with breathtaking sunset views)



we also got to mingle with celeb stylists and designers including Tim Gunn and Richie Rich. Each of the stylists showed off an outfit that was washable.

Our fave? Charla Krupp's. Charla is the author of How Not to Look Old and a frequent contributor to the Today Show.



Charla caught our attention when she explained the outfit she picked was a chic update on the tracksuit and ideal for wearing on the plane. Charla picked this particular Tory Burch sheath dress because, as she says, "Purple is hot for fall." But you don't have to tell us that!

The outfit is available at Bloomingdale's. For more on the event, check out our friend and fellow blogger, Felissa's take.

VHS Week, Day 2: The Blood Spattered Bride

That right there, friends, is radness in a clamshell. Yet again I fell victim to the doesn't describe anything description on the back of the box and figured I was in for an over the top slasher flick. Instead, I was treated to a sublime gothic take on Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla with director Vicente Aranda's The Blood Spattered Bride (1972).

Yes that's right- much to my shame I had no idea what this movie was about until I popped it in the ol' VCR. Bad horror fan! Bad! Go sit in the corner and think about what you've done!

Now that my shortcomings as a walking horror encyclopedia are out of the way, let's get to it. Carmilla is, of course, the 1872 novella that spawned a genre: the lesbian vampire tale. From Blood and Roses to The Vampire Lovers to Daughters of Darkness and beyond, there have been numerous cinematic interpretations of Le Fanu's work over the years with varying amounts of blood and smut. The Blood Spattered Bride falls somewhere in the middle of the spectrum- though the blood flows, at times, copiously, the film is never as lurid as its title suggests; though there's ample (body-double) nudity on display, the movies's most erotic moments happen off-camera; and though you may roll your eyes at the thought of yet another lesbian vampire movie (though I can't imagine who would!), The Blood Spattered Bride is an intelligent take on feminism and sexual politics that's got atmosphere to spare.


Newlyweds Susan (Maribel Martin) and her nameless husband (Simon Andreu) honeymoon at his ancestral estate after an aborted stay at a modern hotel- Susan was understandably uneasy there after she...endured? suffered? indulged in?...a violent rape fantasy. She becomes only more high-strung after they arrive at the sprawling mansion, mostly due to her husband's boorish behavior. He is continually (and I really do mean continually) in lustful pursuit of his young bride, so much so that Susan attempts to lock herself away from him. Her sexual anxiety reaches critical mass when he follows her into the woods, grabs two handfuls of her hair and lifts her off the ground, then tries to coerce her into fellating him. I can't imagine why she'd be reluctant!

Susan begins to have dreams of a woman in a bridal gown who gives her an ivory-handled dagger. Eventually she finds a faceless painting of the same woman tucked away in the basement; Susan's husband relates the story of a distant relative, Mircalla Karstein, who murdered her husband on their wedding night when he wanted her to perform "unspeakable acts". The husband then proceeds to open Mircalla's crypt, conveniently located right on the estate grounds. Is Mircalla the woman in Susan's dreams? If she's only dreaming it all, why does Susan now possess the ivory-handled dagger? What does it all mean? According to a psychiatrist, it's simply a typical case of a woman's excitable nature- the only cure for which is a series of injections and a big dose of bedrest, during which she's more than welcome to stare at the yellow wallpaper on the walls.


The husband decides to dispose of the dagger once and for all; he buries it on a remote beach where he encounters (in what has simply got to be one of the strangest character introductions in any film in the history of ever) a mysterious blonde woman (Alexandra Bastedo). Naturally, he takes her home.

As you may have guessed, the mysterious blonde woman (who remembers nothing but her own name, Carmilla) is the same woman who appears in Susan's dreams. She disappears from the mansion the next morning, but she and Susan continue to meet each other- at the crypt, in the woods- anywhere so they can engage in neck biting, sexy times, and plenty of kill your husband pillow talk.

Events escalate to a bloody, bizarre, and ultimately downbeat ending that leaves plenty of questions hanging in the air: is Carmilla a vampire, or does she simply fancy herself to be one? Is she the reincarnated spirit of Mircalla, or is she simply, as Susan's doctor puts it, a "dominating lesbian" and a "paranoid pervert"?

Questions regarding plot aside, The Blood Spattered Bride also raises more political questions for the audience as the focus shifts during the course of the film. There's no question we're meant to sympathize with Susan early on- her husband is a callous jackass who is quite possibly the most annoying person on the planet. He knocks her around, teases her, and all but forces himself on her until she finally admits that she hates him. Once Carmilla enters the scene, however, and her relationship with Susan blossoms into something resembling love, the men of the film become the protagonists, hunting down and ultimately destroying the women. Are the filmmakers endorsing the patriarchal order by eliminating the feminists? Do the filmmakers really consider homosexuality to be "perverted", and thus heterosexuality must win out in the end?

Or is this just a lesbian vampire exploitation flick? I guess it's up to you to decide.

Regardless of how much thought you want to put into The Blood Spattered Bride (or how much though you think went into the making of it), there's no denying that the film looks and feels gorgeous. Aranda opts for slow tracking shots and long takes, imbuing the film with a sense of the gothic and an atmosphere that's positively languorous and unsettling. Bride meanders along as dreams and reality intertwine, and the pace of the thing will undoubtedly make it or break it for you. The cinematography is fantastic, and it's impossible to grow weary of gazing at Susan and Carmilla.

Though I caught this on VHS (duh), it's currently available as a bonus on the 2-disc special edition of Daughters of Darkness, released a couple of years ago by Blue Underground. If you dig gothic tales of lesbian vampires (and who doesn't, duh), I highly recommend it.

Lip Gloss That Lights Up

Forgive us the pun, but this truly is one of the "brightest" ideas we've heard of in the world of lip gloss. The Model Co. Lip Lights lip gloss actually lights up as you unscrew the top! The LED light stays lit until you close it up. Not only that, but it has a mirror on the side, so you can actually see how you're applying your lip gloss, no matter how dark the club you're in.

We tried this ourself the other night at NYC's Green Fairy Garden. Not only did it work perfectly, leaving our lips with the perfect hint of shimmer and color, it garnered lots of attention from male and female admirers alike.

We love the Indian Summer, a very wearable, nude color. Available at Sephora.com and on ModelCo.com.au.

A couple of seasons back we gave all our friends, neighbors and stylists Diorshow mascara for Christmas, because we loved it so much. Wouldn't this make a great Holiday 08 gift?

briefs

- Look at me, posting a link to my latest AMC column all timely-like! Head over and check out my 10 Reasons Why Phantasm Rules. Yes, of course the Lady in Lavender is on the list. What am I, some sort of rube? Some of my reasoning for including her didn't make it past the editor's steely gaze, but such is life.

- It's a great friggin' time to be a horror video game fan! First, when September 30 rolls around and Silent Hill 5: Homecoming is released, you can just kiss me goodbye. Pyramid Head and knifey nurses, and melty bathrooms? Ba-ring 'em on! Bloody-Disgusting has the creeptastic trailer for you to get creeped out by. Is it just me being a nerd, or is that Travis from Silent Hill: Origins making a cameo in the truck?

Bloody-Disgusting has also got a bunch of lo-down regarding Resident Evil 5, including 2 gameplay trailers that are totally drool-inducing. Uh, the awesomely scary bane of my existence- chainsaw baghead guy- makes a return. Guhhhhhhhshmlehhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm just thankful it's not being released until March 13, 2009- I'd hate for RE 5 to have to battle with SH 5 for my affections. It's like choosing a favorite spoonful of mint chocolate chip ice cream from a single bowl: it's just not possible.

White + Warren: New Carry On Bags

We love White + Warren for their soft and warm, and truly functional cashmere wraps and sweaters. Now, they're entering into the carry on bag market. Our pick is the Traveler (to the left) for its quality and classy looks. Details include a detachable shoulder strap, 5 interior pockets, exterior zipper pockets, tasseled pulls and metal feet.

While the Traveler is the largest of W + W's offerings and the most accomodating for all our airplane goodies, we're also intrigued by the Commuter with its detachable magazine pouch, detachable zippered pouch and separate ID case. Plus, at 19 x 15 in., it's still roomy enough to hold a laptop. The smallest is the Daily with its fair share of bells and whistles.

We were excited to learn that all three bags will be available in October in six bright shades for holiday travel: red, yellow, orange (our pick), turquoise, white and blue.

Prices range from $295 to $495, free shipping on orders over $175. Check out the sale section while you're there for steals and deals!

VHS Week, Day 1: Night Warning

I'm not quite sure what I was expecting, exactly, from "the best horror movie of 1982" (that's Night Warning, folks), but whatever it was I expected...I'm pretty sure I didn't get it. Actually, I do know what I was expecting- some sort of slasher flick. After all, part of the lengthy description on the back of the box reads as follows:

Numbed by this deadly chain of events, each person seeks to escape the mounting terror, only to find they're racing headlong toward the guilty party.

Yeah sure, it's a bit vague, but still, it gives one a certain slasher-y impression. Had I seen the box art for this movie under its original title Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker, however, I would have had a far more accurate impression of what the film would entail.

Well, no matter. It just goes to show, you simply can't trust a wily VHS box!

So, Night Warning. It's a bit like Mommie Dearest on crack with a bloody twist of Psycho- in other words, it rocks! I knew it would rock within the first fifteen minutes, when young Billy's parents drive off, leaving him in the care of his Aunt Cheryl (Susan Tyrrell), only to die in a car accident moments later. This wasn't any old car accident, though- this was a low-budget Final Destination-style sequence de resistance! The brakes go out, then Billy's dad is decapitated when the car rams into a logging truck, then the car pitches over a cliff, then it explodes- all ensuring that Billy's parents are wicked dead. Consider my mouth open and my cheeks slapped in a decidedly Home Alone fashion!

14 years later, Billy is all grown up and Jimmy McNichol-ized. He's still living with Aunt Cheryl, who creepily and consistently crosses the line into don't ever do anything like that with your nephew territory. When Billy wants to have a girl over for his birthday dinner, Cheryl says no, insisting she'll be his date. She watches him sleep and wakes him by purring in his ear and scratching his back like a perverted cat. It's all very unsettling, and it's only the beginning.

I swear, it's like Cheryl thinks she's Judith Light of television's Who's the Boss in the made-for-TV movie Too Close to Home (also starring Rick(y) Schroeder of television's Silver Spoons), the way she does anything and everything to keep Billy in her home and her clutches. When simply trying to convince Billy that he won't make it in college ("It's for rich kids and people with brains- you wouldn't fit in!") doesn't work, Cheryl drugs his milk so he passes out at the big basketball game and ruins his chance at winning an athletic scholarship.

Things heat up when a TV repairman pays a visit and Aunt Cheryl puts the creepilicious moves on him...or rather, things don't heat up, much to Cheryl's dismay. He deflects her gropings and come-ons until he finally relents and suggests she give him a blow job. Despite the fact that she's agreed to do "anything", Cheryl flips out and stabs the repairman to death. Billy walks in and ends up covered with blood, clutching the knife. This can't be good, right? Right!

Cheryl fully admits to killing the repairman, claiming that it was self-defense as he was attempting to rape her. Detective Carlson (Bo Svenson) is unconvinced, however- he's sure Billy is the murderer. And the motive? Psychosis homosexualia, of course! The repairman was actually bisexual and was having a love affair with Billy's basketball coach- and Carlson just knows that Billy was the c-squared to their a-squared and b-squared. It's a murder most Pythagorian! And gay!

Yes, gay. 1982 was a year when homosexual characters started inching their way out of the celluloid closet (see also: Best, Personal). Carlson is a homophobe and a rascist painted with a wide, wide brush: he uses the word "fag" the way the Smurfs use the word "smurf". "Are you a fag? I bet you're a fag. He's a fag. Fag fag faggity fag. PS: fag!" Aunt Cheryl is no better: when Billy continues to treat his coach like...like...like a human, she quips "Do you know that homosexuals are very sick?" Eh. At least all the homophobes are kookadooks.

Eventually, Aunt Cheryl goes completely off the rails, by which I mean "completely off the fucking rails". She cuts her hair off a la Jodie Foster in The Accused, she kills everyone who gets between her and Billy, she kills everyone who comes close to discovering her secret, she has a secret which may or may not involve a corpse in the basement. Susan Tyrrell gives an unbelievable, balls out performance that simply needs to be seen. She. Is. AWESOME.

Though it wasn't at all what I thought it was going to be, Night Warning was absolutely a delight- even if I still have no clue what exactly a "night warning" is. Man, Susan Tyrrell! She fucking owns this movie. There's a DVD release rumored for later this year so you can check it out for yourself- this is a real VHS gem, an underrated psychological horror flick. The only thing that would've made it better is if it'd been Kristy McNichol in the lead instead of her brother Jimmy. Sure, that would've added a whole 'nother layer to the psychosexual drama, but that's okay. Kristy McNichol makes everything better. Even the Gardenburger I had for dinner- delicious as it was- would have been tastier if Kristy McNichol had made it for me. It's, like, totally a fact.

things I learned today

- the sister with no mouth briefly glimpsed in the kid with eerie powers segment of Twilight Zone: The Movie is Cherie Currie. Cherie Currie! Of The Runaways! WOW!


- Mint Newman-Os are delicious. This was a far less shocking revelation than the whole Cherie Currie is the mouthless sister in Twilight Zone: The Movie thing.

Remedy for Dull Hair

As much as we love salt spray to create our beach-y waves, what we don’t love about it is how dull it makes our hair. Apparently it’s not just us who has this problem. When we saw our stylist last week, the fabulous Travis at NYC’s Bumble & Bumble, he complemented our tousled, wavy hair (which is a nice way to say air-dried and messy) and asked if we used Bumble & Bumble’s Surf Spray. We responded, “No, because, it makes my hair too…”

“Dull,” Travis replied before we finished the sentence.

So how to beat those doldrums?

Travis recommended we try a dollop of Bumble & Bumble’s Grooming Crème (though any finishing cream will do.) Six days later, we’re still rocking the killer blowout with bend Travis gave us, but we’ll give it a shot this weekend.

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Dudes, Stuff on VHS Week will begin momentarily! Thanks to all who voted. I was hoping that VHS would come in first...and since hope is a wish your heart makes (or something like that), my heart was psyched to discover it won by 3 votes! Whilst I work on the inaugural post, here are a couple of things to tide you over:

- It's possible that I need to link to my AMC columns in a more timely fashion. However, you can go back in time and read last week's column by clicking this link! Such is the magical power of The Internet. It's kinda sorta about stuff that shouldn't be scary, but is- unexpected horrors and the such. You know, like Pee Wee's Big Adventure. What innocuous movie do you find frightening? Don't say Showgirls, because Showgirls is effing awesome...although I'll admit, the violent hot tub humping is rather scary.

- Recently I conducted a brief phone interview with Shawnee Smith, she of the Saw franchise, she of Summer School (I inexplicably love that movie), she of the music duo Smith & Pyle.

- Over at Shock Till You Drop, there's a big fat report from the set of The Descent 2. I didn't read it because I intend to remain blissfully ignorant, but I figured I'd pass it along. That's just how I am.

- For reasons unknown, I've been thinking a lot about the movie Pieces lately. I suppose I should just watch it again to get it out of my system. Here's a...well, I don't think it's a trailer, exactly. Featured amongst the clips, however, is the skateboarding into a big mirror sequence. It's radness.

Fake Eyelashes for the Stage

Last week we went to see the fabulously naughty Desir. It's the latest offering from the Spiegelworld crew down at NYC's South Street Seaport. (We dare you to say that 5 times fast--a tongue twister if we ever heard one!) It's like a grown up version of the Olympics with gymnasts doing all sorts of sexy risque things that you never saw on the mat in Beijing.

We were super-excited to sit behind Alan Cumming whom we last saw in Cabaret as the Emcee. He would have been equally at home here. We thought it was a bit odd that one of his companions filmed nearly the entire show, but we digress.

Our favorite skit in the show was the Hula Hopper wearing a Josephine Baker-esque skirt of bananas. She's no ordinary hula hooper--she could make that thing go around while suspended in air. For her grande finale she shook 10 at a time! Somehow we managed to take our eyes off of the mesmerizing vision of this hula hooper's hips to notice her gorgeous full lashes. (Well, we are obsessed.)

Lucky for us, we got to mingle with the cast afterwards. Forget the hot gent dressed as a sailor or the other one costumed as a genie. We wanted to find the hula hooper and have her teach us a thing or two.

Turns out her name is Marawa, she is Australian and totally friendly. First off, she told us she uses Ardell lashes that come packaged on a curve band and her favorite models are #101 and #111. Marawa is super-allergic to traditional stage makeup, but likes these lashes as they're made of human hair. She says that because they're curved, they're super-easy to apply. JSG also wants to point out how totally affordable they are: 2 pairs only cost $4.50!



While we were totally enamored of Marawa's lashes, we were at least able to hold it together to get some tips on how she keeps her hula hoop spinning. The secret is to move your hips forward and back NOT side to side. Give it a try--when you do it right, hula hooping can burn as many calories as jump roping and makes your waist tiny!

Review Part 3: Obaji ZO Skin Health

We're set to embark on week 4 of our try out of the new Obaji ZO Skin Health, and...we're starting to see results. The biggest plus is that our brown spots are noticeably fading. (We have 2 on our temple and one near our jaw line.) This is a great improvement for us--we've been considering pricey laser treatments and are thrilled to see them fade. Our skin continues to be as soft as it was in week one. The flaking and breakouts we experienced early on have subsided as well.

What is the jury still out on? Well, our skin tone is still a little reddish (we're Irish/German and have that tendency). And we haven't noticed any improvement in our fine lines.

Our biggest complaint? We do miss a cream moisturizer. The Obaji program includes a gel. We first longed for something thicker after our trip to the beach and that desire for something rich hasn't subsided. There's something so soothing about massaging a luxurious moisturizer into our face and neck before bedtime. Perhaps Obaji could include a complimentary moisturizer. It would help too to have it on those occasions when our skin feels thirsty.

We'll be testing this out for at least one more week, so be sure to check back for updates.

A Peek Inside Madonna's Stylist's Carry On Bag

Fresh from the opening night of Madonna's Sticky and Sweet Tour, we checked in with Andy Le Compte to see what's in his carry on bag. (He's also Lindsay Lohan's go to mane man and the Sunsilk spokesperson.)

Andy's a traditionalist and carries all of his hair essentials in a traditional brown and white striped makeup bag from Henri Bendel's. The bag was created more than 100 years ago by Mr. Bendel himself, back in the days when travel meant hopping on an ocean liner.




He also uses Bendel's bottles you fill yourself to make all his must-have hair products, including Sunsilk's 24/7 Hydra TLC Creme, travel- friendly.



Both bags are available at HenriBendel.com

Andy always travels with a 1" Chi Ceramic Flat Iron. He likes that it's versatile and he can use it to straighten or curl Madge's hair.

For his personal items, Andy prefers a Smythson of Bond Street Travel Wallet. "I store extra credit cards in here, because you never know when a credit company might put a hold on your account because of suspected fraud. It happens when you travel as much as I do." He also keeps a variety of foreign currency in the zippered wallet. "That way, I always have cash for the taxi when I land."

Not that he's above taking public transportation. Andy relies on the London Tube and carries an Oyster Card with him at all times.

For entertainment, Andy likes to catch up on TV shows. "I'm always getting on to things a little late. Two years ago I discovered Will and Grace. Now I like Gossip Girl and 24." He also likes to watch the movies that the airline is showing.

To watch those episodes or to tune into the plane's movies, Andy prefers Dr. Dre headphones. "My VJ friend, Samantha, gave these to me after my Bose set broke."

Madonna photo from Rolling Stone (tour dates available there as well).

Jet Blue's New Food Court at JFK

New York Magazine gives us a sneak peek at the new food court at JFK's long-awaited Jet Blue terminal that is set to open on October 1. We love that the restaurants are after security--we can't relax till we've gone through that whole rigmarole with our liquids and laptop. This makes getting to the airport five hours early and delayed flights a little more bearable and may just be enough to get us to switch our allegiance from Virgin America for our cross country trips.

Our faves are the modern Deep Blue:



and La Vie, which looks like Pastis in Queens:

Vintage Airline Commercials and Ads

We're glued to Mad Men with the rest of you on Sunday nights and were just as bummed as Don and crew when Sterling Cooper didn't win the American Airlines account. For those who can't get enough of the sexist times or don't really believe it was as bad as the show makes it out to be, check out this compilation of humorous airline commercials from Travel and Leisure. Fortunately, enough time has gone by that we can laugh at the once offensive "Take Her Along" ad from United Airlines where women plead with their hubbies to be allowed to go on the trip. Really? We mean, REALLY? Thank God we live in a time when women can travel--with and without their men!

American Airlines poster courtesy of Allposters.com.

On Our Radar: Vancouver Olympics 2010

Hard to believe, but the Beijing Olympic Closing Ceremonies are set for Sunday. While we've adored watching Michael Phelps and his proud mom, cheering on Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh (They deserve another gold medal for not having a wardrobe malfunction playing hardcore beach volleyball in bikinis) and felt Nastia Liukin's pain at not getting the gold in the individual floor finals, we're the types to look forward, not back. Especially when we're looking at one of our all time favorite cities: Vancouver, host of the 2010 Winter Olympics.

First off, unlike Beijing, Vancouver is pristinely clean. You know Bliss's oxygen facial? Try that times 10. Not only is pollution low, they practically invented the idea of local and organic produce. We shopped at the Granville produce market where we bought cherries as big as peaches (actual photo below) and raspberries so wonderfully organic we were advised not to even rinse them.



We were first introduced to our all time fave Lululemon in Vancouver, before it hit the States. It was love at first site for their comfy and stylish yoga clothes and those oh-so-chic multi-purpose bags.

We stayed at the Pacific Palisades (a Kimpton hotel, of course!), which is handily situated on Robson Street near the shopping. The hotel is connected to the Art + Soul Gallery, which hosts the signature Kimpton complimentary wine hour.

We would also love to stay at the Opus Hotel. We had dinner at its Elixir restaurant, a modern French bistro that uses local ingredients and were suitably impressed. It has been on the Condé Nast Traveler Gold List since 2005, so we're pretty confident their rooms pass muster, too.


Vancouver is the host of the 2010 Winter Olympics, but don't wait two years to go check out all it has to offer! There's a reason it lands on every list of most livable cities world wide.

Michael Phelps photo courtesy of Hot Jocks of the Day.

Botox on Cruise Ships: Don't Do It!

First a confession: We're committed fans of Botox and Restylane and other fillers. There's nothing like 'em to make you look refreshed and well rested.

Now that we got that out of the way, we can tell you one place we would not get injected: On a cruise ship. Norwegian Cruise Lines introduced the ill-conceived concept at the start of the summer on three of their ships and are due to roll it out fleet-wide this fall. Why is this a bad idea? Well, consider that you need a glossary when getting a blowout from a new stylist. And that's just your hair. A bad blowout can be fixed with a quick shampoo. A bad injection can take months to fix.

But don't take our word for it. We checked in with Dr. David Bank, founder and director of the Center for Dermatology, Cosmetic & Laser Surgery in Mount Kisco, New York to get his take:

With all injectables,you are creating breaks in the skin. The moment you put a whole in the skin you create potential for something to get in there and get infected. In the doctor's office you’re cleaning with sterile circumstances and are being instructed by your physicians about what to apply, what not to apply, how to make sure nothing gets into openings that could cause infections, etc. It seems like it would be hard to control that on a ship where you have a large number of people in close quarters which is a breeding ground for bacteria. Whether you’re on the ship in the sauna, pool, gym, deck or dining area all of which can be tight quarters with lots of people, or going ashore to islands or new cities, you’re constantly being exposed to bacteria and other infectious agents. [JSG note: Remember the norovirus epidemic of 2003, anyone?]

Dr. Bank continues:
Are there medical charts for each patient? Is the doctor performing the injections? What’s the level of training and supervision? If you’re in international waters whose laws do you apply? Who’s licensed in the middle of the Atlantic ? (I'm licensed in New York ). What happens if something isn’t right after a few days? You may be OK if you’re still on the boat and can go back to the person who you originally saw but what if your trip is over? Who do you go to? There’s no medical follow up. These are still medical procedures that carry with them the standard risk of swelling, bruising, bleeding, infection, but you will have no appropriate follow up care.

Consider that you won't even see the effects of the injectables while on your vacation and it becomes obvious what a bad decision this is. Botox takes about 2 weeks before you see full effects. While you can see the effects of Restylane and other fillers immediately, they can cause minor bruising and swelling and can take a few days to settle in.

A better decision? Visit your home dermatologist two to four weeks before your vacation. You know you'll be in capable hands, have somewhere to go for a follow up visit and will be able to enjoy the full results on your vacation.

Fall Shoe Shopping

This is the time of year when we start our fall online window shopping--where we look for items online, usually after 11 at night, that inspire us to mosey on down to the actual store during normal hours. (We've learned the hard way that if we're doing this with a glass of wine in hand, we better be shopping somewhere that accepts returns!)

One item on our list for fall is new knee-high black boots. We stumbled across the above Nanette Lepore shoes (Did you know she designs shoes? We didn't!) These obviously don't fit the bill, but caught our attention, nonetheless. We kinda dig how they feel like a natural extension of this summer's gladiators paired with some granny chic. We see these working with a plaid school girl skirt, anything from L.A.M.B. or a pair of wool shorts and tights. Plus they're called, "Nearly Naked Cut Out Booties", which makes us giggle. Then again, maybe it's the pinot grigio!

Available at Saks.

e.l.f. Cosmetics and Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2

At the Jo Bros concert Sunday night (no kidding, we were there!), our 10 year old charge, Alex, was applying e.l.f. lipgloss from the handiest little mini tube attached to her cell phone. It was so cute we decided to check out what else they had to offer.

We found this adorable train case designed for the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 which comes stocked with 6 shades of lipgloss. Surely there's one to suit each of your girlfriends on your next trip. Better yet, the Sisterhood Travel Kit only costs $15.

We also found this comprehensive Weekender Kit for only $34:

From now until August 31st, you can enter to win a dream trip for two to Greece inspired by the Sisterhood movie worth $4,500!

Discount on 7 Jeans, Tibi, Rebecca Taylor and more

How refreshing: Clothes on sale at the start of the season! Now through August 30 you can get 30 percent off at NYC's Owl's Labs online store. The chic Union Square boutique is a fave of Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jessica Alba and Mariah Carey.

We're crushing on this ruffle-y top from Hanii Y

Simply enter HC08 at checkout. Happy Shopping!

The Best Little Black Dress Ever

We've finally had time to sit down and start reading those fall fashion mags (finishing them is another story--we still have about 2,000 pages to go through!). All the ones we've read so far keep touting the LBD as the look of the season (as if it ever went out of style!). And for good reason--it looks good in every setting, in every city.

We'll let you in on a little secret--the LBD that looks amazing on everyone, we swear! What is it? The Jackie O dress from Black Halo. It has been around for a few seasons, but the classic dress is still being made, if that tells you anything.

Something about the fabric (5% spandex), the cap sleeves, the belted waist and slit up the back makes it a universal winner. Not to mention the juxtaposition of a 1940's classic with a modern asymmetrical neckline.

We've had ours for close to a year and have only worn it twice. We've come to think of it as our "lucky" dress and don't want the charm to wear off.

It's a celeb fave, seen here on Jenny McCarthy, Kelly Ripa and Ugly Betty's Ana Ortiz, proving that it does look good on a number of body types from busty Jenny to tiny Kelly to hourglass Ana.

Just be warned: if you put this on, be prepared to cause a commotion when you walk down the block. It's that sexy! Available at edressme.com.