Film Club: Blood and Roses

As I watched my cruddy VHS copy of Blood and Roses, with its washed out colors and slight blur, I kept thinking what a marvel it would be to see the film all cleaned up, remastered, beautified, and restored to its rumored true run time of 87 minutes (versus the 74 minutes currently available). Why hasn't someone out there given the film the technological love it deserves? Isn't there some sort of Lesbian Vampire Historical Preservation Society in existence? If not, then I declare that there is now. I also nominate myself for President. I also second the nomination. The nomination is passed. Now please help yourself to juice and cookies.

Roger Vadim's 1960 take on Sheridan Le Fanu's Carmilla predates more famous interpretations of the story, such as Hammer's Karnstein Trilogy and The Blood-Spattered Bride; though it's not as salacious or bloody as some of those later sapphic vampire tales, it remains a bastion of eroticism and romance.

That's right...I said a bastion. As President of the Lesbian Vampire Historical Preservation Society, I take this all very seriously.

Poor Carmilla, a woman-child who knows little of life outside of her wealthy family's sprawling estate. Petulant about the impending marriage of her cousin Leopoldo De Karnstein, with whom she's in love, Carmilla gets in moods (you know how women be) and attempts to frighten Leopoldo's fiancee Georgia with tales of the Karnstein's good ol' days as vampires. To everyone's surprise, Georgia (Elsa Martinelli) finds the stories thrilling.

During an engagement celebration, a fireworks display in the estate's abbey ignites forgotten war munitions...and perhaps releases the spirit of the long-dead Millarca Karnstein, the family's last vampire. Carmilla (Annette Vadim) finds herself inexplicably drawn to the crypt, and before you can say "Millarca, thou art loosed!", Carmilla takes her ancestor's essence into her and it settles there like asbestosis. But sexier!

I mean look at this picture quality! It's a CRIME, I tells ya.

Soon, Carmilla's presence causes horses to cower in fear and pretty young maids to run in...well, fear. She needs blood to satisfy her hunger, of course, but what of Carmilla/Millarca's hunger for love? Her eyes remain fixed on the prize of Leopoldo (Mel Ferrer), but she's also undeniably drawn to Georgia- though whether as obstacle or object of desire is unknown. Perhaps both.

Georgia, too, finds herself drawn to her future cousin-in-law. Hiding from a rainstorm in a greenhouse, there's a sexually charged "Let me get that blood off your lip with a kiss" kiss that causes Georgia to sort of go "Oh...OH.", as those types of kisses often do.

When Carmilla finally seduces Georgia, Blood and Roses veers into surrealism as both women enter Georgia's dreamy nightmare or nightmarish dream or what have you. It's an unexpected sequence, but the hallucinogenic imagery is creepy and fantastic, all reds splashed against black and white.

It goes without saying, but again- this film really needs to be remastered.


So, in the end, has Carmilla really become Millarca, or is she simply cuckoo for cousin puffs and acts in bitey ways out of depression? Leopoldo feels one way about it and Georgia decidedly feels another. As President of the Lesbian Vampire Historical Preservation Society, however, I would have to say it's the former. Besides, that's the sexier answer, no?

Film Club Coolies!
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A Great Disturbance in the Farce
Don't Make Me Ang Lee
I Will Devour Your Content
Maynard Morrisey's Horror Movie Diary
Soresport Movies
Things That Don't Suck
The Agitation of the Mind
The United Provinces of Ivanlandia
Acidemic - Film
nijomu
Film Shuffle
The Montana Mancave Massacre
Musings & Meditations
Horror, Gore and More
Brutally Violent & Wonderful
Greetings from Movie City...

Gallery o' Slasher Movie Title Screens, Part Two!

Here we go, more slasher movie title screens! Now, if you may reaaaallll close attention to detail, you may notice a trend amongst these.

Oh, and if some of them look all cruddy, it's because they are- some of them I've only got on VHS and I had to resort to photographing the TV. I'm not so bad that I'd cut off a title, though- believe me, Curtains did that all by itself. For the record, both that movie and The Burning are red font on a black background. Ah, the sometimes-pain-in-the-ass-i-ness of lo-fi...

SHOCKtober: 707-683

Each of the following films received ONE VOTE. It's evident by now that there's no real significance to that, for there are some undeniably great horror movies listed here.

A note! Please keep the comments civil. While I certainly encourage discussion, debate, arguments, "Wait, how is that considered horror?" and all that, I have a zero-tolerance policy- less than zero, actually- on nastiness and name-calling and all that. No one should be disparaged for the choices he or she has made for the list. Talk about the movies, but not the person. I realize it's not very Internet of me to extinguish any and all flames (perhaps before they're even lit), but that's the way it is here at your friendly neighborhood Final Girl.

Schoolmarm out!

707. The Invisible Man -- 1933, James Whale
706. Prom Night -- 1980, Paul Lynch
705. Day of the Animals -- 1977, William Girdler
704. StageFright -- 1987, Michele Soavi
703. House with the Laughing Windows -- 1976, Pupi Avati
702. 1408 -- 2007, Mikael Hafstrom
701. Joy Ride -- 2001, John Dahl
700. Cries and Whispers -- 1972, Ingmar Bergman
699. Maniac -- 1934, Dwain Esper
698. The Unknown -- 1927, Tod Browning
697. Ebola Syndrome -- 1996, Herman Yau
696. Targets -- 1968, Peter Bogdanovich
695. Darkness -- 1993, Leif Jonkers
694. Day of the Beast -- 1995, Alex de la Iglesia
693. [REC] 2 -- 2009, Jaume Balaguero & Paco Plaza
692. Tomb of Ligeia -- 1964, Roger Corman
691. The Frighteners -- 1996, Peter Jackson
690. Tetsuo, the Iron Man -- 1989, Shinya Tsukamoto
689. Tales from the Gimli Hospital -- 1988, Guy Maddin
688. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari -- 1920, Robert Wiene
687. Nightbeast -- 1982, Don Dohler
686. Dark Water -- 2002, Hideo Nakata
685. Warlock -- 1989, Steve Miner
684. Dark Waters -- 1993, Mariano Baino
683. The Haunting of Julia -- 1977, Richard Loncraine

When oh when will The Haunting of Julia get a DVD release? It's a film worthy of me trotting out my oversized, novelty foam finger that says "everyone should have a VCR #1" on it. The book on which the film is based, Peter Straub's Julia, is pretty terrific, too. That's just an F to the Y to the I.

awesome movie poster friday - the EDWIGE FENECH edition!

Friends, yesterday I was faced with a dilemma that most every horror fan is faced with at one time or another. It went something like this: like most every horror fan, I love Edwige Fenech. Yet, I have never seen The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh (aka Blade of the Ripper). Lo and behold, I came across a VHS copy of the USA release of the film, under the title Next Victim. Now, I know that edition has about 15 minutes cut out of it (stupid America), but the wondrous DVD release is out of print and selling for approximately ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Okay, maybe $70. But still, even I won't pay that much for a DVD. So. Do I pick up the VHS? Well, it was only two bucks, so yes, I picked it up. Now, however, I debate if it's worth watching. I suppose it is, but the entire time I'll wonder what I'm missing.

So there's my dilemma, which I guess isn't really a dilemma and honestly, I'm not sure why I shared it at all beyond, you know, how sharing is nice and the such. It does tell you what caused me to do the FENECH edition of AMPF, though, so I guess my lame story was worth something after all!

Wow, I either need a lot more coffee or a lot less.

PS - No, I didn't include Hostel II because looking at the posters for it, they just didn't seem like it would fit in with all of these beauts. New vs old, everything was better back then, blah blah blah.

awesome movie poster friday - the 100th edition!

Siiiiiiigh. Yes, my friends, the post title gives it away: this is the 100th edition of Awesome Movie Poster Friday. That's a whole bunch of posters! Let's take a moment to agree with that last statement.

Okay, we're back. You know, every time Final Girl reaches some sort of landmark post I think about doing something big and exciting to celebrate. Like the site's recent-ish five fucking year anniversary- I mean, five years is a long time. I thought it was noteworthy enough to celebrate, but then when it came down to it...I didn't know what to do. What does one do to celebrate something like that? I guess one goes and congratulates oneself, but...eh. That seemed like too much effort or too jerky-off-y or something. In the end, I did a celebratory AMPF showcasing my favorite posters from AMPFs past whilst promising some big 5 Year Blowout, but that never materialized. I should never make promises! I promise I won't make them anymore.

So now here we are at the 100th AMPF, which I also think is noteworthy. If AMPF was a television show celebrating its 100th episode, I would probably be eating cake right now. Instead, I am not. Also, if AMPF was a television show, it would be really fucking boring.

Anyway, I'm not really sure how to celebrate; my impulse would be to do what I did for the aborted fifth anniversary extravaganza. Here, I'll congratulate myself by referencing two of my favorite AMPF posts, which you can go read and mayhaps enjoy: the VHS Box Art Edition, part one and part two. I think some of the stuff I wrote in those posts is funny. There, I said it. See? Jerky-off-y.

I realize that I can't call this a proper Awesome Movie Poster Friday without posting some sort of art, so in keeping with the VHS theme, I now present some more delightful VHS box art. If this was any ol' AMPF and not the 100th edition, I would probably call this the HOLY CRAP I NEED TO SEE THESE NOW edition.

I'm not quite sure that "W" qualifies as a word, per se, but I am intrigued nonetheless. I am curious- what's going on in the high-rise dwelling of the negligée-clad woman? I'm already on board with this, but that oval "Starring TWIGGY" in the corner has me yelling CHOO CHOO.


Obviously, this would make a stellar double feature with And Now the Screaming Starts!- but even on its own...I need to know what those red flash warnings are all about!


Good thing she's in her underwear, otherwise I might not find an image of a giant cockroach killing someone sexy.


My reasons for wanting to see this quite DESPERATELY need no explanation.


Nor this. Man, Joan Collins teamed up with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee. Is there anything she can't do?


Is this wig shooting fireworks? It matters not. It's a wig. This box art says to me: horror movie about a Countess of some sort. That's probably not accurate at all, but it matters not. It's a wig!


Christopher Lee and Sybil Danning versus an evil albino? Please. This movie should live in my pants!


Hooray, 100! Here's to...well, more anyway.