Louis Vuitton Awarded $60 Million

We've softened to Louis Vuitton ever since they invited us to breakfast and later to preview their cruise collection. So we said, "Good for them!" yesterday when French courts awarded Louis Vuitton over $60 million in their lawsuit against eBay for selling both real and counterfeit products out of LV's "desired retail market." We'd never buy a Louis outside of a legit store, there are simply too many fakes out there. We love our Epi wallet and it still looks brand new after years of daily use. Can the buyers of the fakies say the same? Doubt it. Read more at Washington Post.com.

Swimsuit Sales

Score! We got our tax check today and boy is that money burning a hole in our pockets. Take that extra cash, combine it with the fact that we are most surprisingly and even more happily at our ideal weight (We're on that diet called, S-T-R-E-S-S!) and that now is an excellent time to find swimsuits on sale, and we were off to Saks faster than you can say "Stimulus".

The 10th floor has loads of suits from Juicy, Vix, Shoshana, Milly, Tommy Bahama, Carmen Marc Valvo, just to name a few, most at 30 percent off.

We started with Shoshana--we love that she has different cup sizes. And unlike our well-endowed friend at Fashion Binge, we struggle to fill a B-cup, which presents its own kind of problems. (Click here to read about her swimsuit search.) We tried on the bottom to this suit, but they didn't have the top in our size. Strike 1.



Next we moved on to this suit by Milly, but were forced to admit our bandeau top days are behind us (Small boobs sag, too!) Strike 2.


Next up was this sexy number by Vix, but the knit fabric seemed more appropriate for a sweater than a swimsuit and has the potential to get droopy when wet. Strike 3.



Then we thought we would try a one piece.

Just kidding! That crazy style didn't look good on Kim Kardashian, it's not going to look good us.


We thought long and hard about this Shoshana cover up in navy, but didn't get it and now we're experiencing buyer's remorse.



So--we left empty handed. A decision we will surely regret on our next girls' trips when our friends make fun of us for wearing the same bikini we've had since 1992. But for some reason, we can't justify spending that kind of money (even when the suit's on sale and the cash is a gift from the government) on something that doesn't make us feel like a rock star. The search continues...

Best Summer Moisturizers

It's a sad fact of life for us that our skin tends to be dry (blame our Irish heritage), even in summer. So we were totally able to relate when P&G scientist Lesley Bride shared her dry skin woes over lunch last week: She has a pool at her Ohio home and getting in and out of the water for those cooling dips leaves her shins and calves looking scaly. Ah yes, the crocodile look. We know it well!

Lesley went on to explain that the reason the P&G products are so effective at moisturizing is because they draw the water from your skin's deepest layers (where it is the most moisturized) out to the surface (where it is the driest). Lesley swears by the Olay Ribbons Body Wash, which was recently reformulated. As soon as we make it to the drug store, we'll give it a try.

While the idea of "Aquacurrent Science" is a little challenging to grasp, the products are an undeniable hit with Total Beauty users. The Covergirl Smoothers Pressed Powder scores an average of 9 out of 10 and the Olay Quench Body Lotion earns an 8. Pretty damn good for drugstore brands. Look for the Aquacurrent Science label on products from Olay, Covergirl, Secret and Pantene.

Ananas Pop-Up Store NYC

Anne Hathaway may be having boyfriend problems, but at least she has one hot new store to shop at--at least until July 15. The Ananas @ fifty-two pop up store is open from now until Mid-July on 52 Canal Street between Ludlow and Orchard. It showcases Jennifer Lagdameo's gorgeous designs. And, get this, they're actually made in NYC! Many of the fabrics and embellishments are imported from the Philippines by Jennifer herself. One of the fabrics is made with fiber from the abaca plant (a cousin of the banana). How's that for eco-friendly? In addition, for each bag sold, Ananas plants a tree in the Philippines through Trees for the Future. For every bag sold from the eco-collection (including the abaca-fiber bag), 10 trees are planted.

In addition to Anne, Cameron Diaz and Meg White are fans of the line. If you can't make it to the store, you can always shop online.

Gwyneth Paltrow, Bazaar and Sensuous Perfume

While Gwyneth does look breathtaking on the cover of the July issue of Bazaar, we agree with this NYTimes article, "A Cover, 4o Pages, 4 Faces and 1 Perfume," that suggests there may be some quid pro quo going on between the magazine and Lauder. In addition to Gwyneth, the 4 Faces the title refers to belong to Elizabeth Hurley, Carolyn Murphy and Hilary Rhoda (shown right), who are featured in a combined 40 pages of editorial and also happen to be the faces of the newest Estee Lauder fragrance, Sensuous. Interestingly, the article points out that the issue has no Lauder advertising (Really? None from Clinique, Origins, Bobbi Brown, Aveda or any of the other hundreds of brands?), though ads for the fragrance are scheduled to run this fall. The magazine denies there is any hanky panky going on, which we would be more inclined to believe if only Gwyn was featured. It's hard to fathom that all four ladies were chosen "just because."

Whatevs! We're just happy that as bloggers, we don't have to worry about keeping advertisers content!

Travel Clothes

Pashminas have long been our wrap of choice for chilly plane flights. We were happy to read in the July issue of W that the options for travel clothes continue to grow, in "I'll Fly Away". We were even happier to see that White + Warren's delicious cashmere travel wraps (shown left) are on sale on their website for $192.50, marked down from $275. The cashmere is so yummy and soft and the wraps come in so many bright gorgeous colors: Trust us, this is a bargain. You'll use it every flight and have it for decades to come.

New York City Waterfalls: Much Hoopla About Nothing

We loved Christo's Gates in Central Park a few years back in '05.


Damn, we even loved the Cow Parade in 2000, even though NYC wasn't the first city to feature the artistic bovines.

So we were waiting with baited breath to see the much ballyhooed Waterfalls, by Danish artist Olafur Eliasson. Our mayor, whom we generally love, estimates they will bring in $55 million in additional tourist dollars. Ummm...not so much, Mayor Mike.



We went out of our way to see three of them yesterday. From what we read, we were expecting falls on par with Niagara and Iguasu. What we got was essentially water trickling over scaffolding. The same exact thing we can see on just about any city street corner on a rainy day. So, come to NYC, but don't go out of your way to see the falls.

Photo from ABC news

awesome movie poster friday- the CARS HATE YOU edition!

DE ZWARTE WAGEN!

On Our Radar: Music Festivals

The JSGs have been great friends for as long as we can remember, and huge fans of music all the while. Watching live bands is still one of our fave things to do. One great way to see a variety of music is at a festival (bands you never thought you'd never see playing next to each other) and you can find them all over the country this summer. Below is a sampling of what's out there, most last three days and feature upwards of 100 bands!

All Points West in Jersey City (August 8-10) features Jack Johnson (he's at all of these), Kings of Leon, Duffy, and The Roots.

Virgin Mobile Festival in Baltimore, Md (August 9-10) features Wilco, Kanye West and Lupe Fiasco as well as DJs Moby and Soulwax.

Outside Lands in San Francisco (August 22-24) is a new comer to the festival scene. It's held in Golden Gate Park with Grace Potter, Beck, Radiohead, Ben Harper, Tom Petty, and Cold War Kids.

Lollapalooza in Chicago (August 1-3) is the perennial alt-favorite. See bands like Rage Against the Machine, The Raconteurs and Nine Inch Nails.

Austin City Limits (September 26-28), one of the biggest festivals with over 120 bands: this is your best ever excuse to go to Texas and visit one of the coolest towns we know. Headliners include the Foo Fighters, John Fogerty, and Robert Plant; but we'd like to get a back stage pass with Jakob Dylan. While you're there check out the Lake Austin Spa for some R & R.

Then there's the Allgood Festival in West Virginia (July 11-13). One JSG camped on a mountain top and hiked over hills to see bands jamming for crunchy hoards of people and she'll be there this year too. Expect to see Phil Lesh, Widespread Panic, and Dark Star Orchestra.

Advice for Brassy Highlights: Kate Hudson's Great Hair

We haven't hit mid-summer yet; but if you're like us, you've already spent enough time in the sun to overexpose your pricey highlights. We love Kate Hudson's great locks and know she's at the beach and on her bike more than most; so we found some great advice to help our own color look as fresh as Kate's.

Here's a do-it-yourself trick from Shawn La'Yave, hair colorist and stylist at DEX New York: "If you're blonde went brassy, you can create your own at-home violet shampoo to brighten your dull color by adding three tablespoons of grape juice concentrate to your favorite shampoo. It will cancel out any warm dull tones."

Easy enough--we'll be heading to Safeway this morning and will let you know if it works for us!

picture from http://www.celebzee.com/

the wednesday wonder

this is so effing frightening

You are never, ever going to believe this...I've got a column up at AMC! Weird, right? Anyway, I talk a bit about Mr Mack Daddy himself, Lon Chaney. Go, read, comment! Or don't. Be a jerk if you want- see if I care.

One last time for the whorin': Alone in the Dark 5 (PS2, PS3, Xbox 360, Wii, PC) dropped yesterday. Anybody pick it up? I haven't gotten my review copy yet (which is my prize for whoring out and talking about it, in case you didn't know), but I'll be sure to...uh...review it when I do. It looks like it'll be fun, even if I have no clue what it's really about. This screen shot doesn't help much, as it seems that the main character's "journal" or what have you is culled from a deluxe pack of magnetic poetry.

click to embiggen

Eh, no matter. As I said, it looks like fun and I'm psyched to play it. Then again, I think that pretty much all video games look like fun and I get excited to play things like Zoo Vet where I get to diagnose computer animals' computer illnesses and give them computer medicine. "The penguin has a sore foot? I'll be there right away!" This either makes me a person filled with child-like excitement and wonder regarding the world around her, or a person filled with child-like idiotic tendencies. Either way, I'm obviously more than a little Nell.

"Don' wor' chick'bay...tay na winn"

I just thought you all might like to know that Jessica Harper left a comment on my Suspiria review and posted her website address- and she welcomes emails! How awesome is that? HOW AWESOME I SAY.

Yes, there's always the chance it's not really her, but come on. I'm going all Occam's Razor on this one.

Jessica Harper!

Commented!

On a Film Club review!

Speaking of the Final Girl Film Club, it's time to pick a film for next month. What a great response for June's movie, Lifeforce! You guys rock my face off. I haven't made my way through reading all the reviews yet, but I'm working on it. Reading may be fundamental, but it's also so very hard. As is math. Damn my girl parts!

The point is, yes, July's pick is...



The Car, bitches! James Brolin! Ronny Cox! THE CAR! It's totally like the Jaws of...of cars, man.

I love that trailer. I love the woman on the phone- "I think I hear the engine of that car..." and if after watching it you're able to get the "honk...honkhonkhonnnnk" out of your head, you're made of stronger stuff than I.

The Car is available on Netflix for you Netflix peeps. Sa-weet! I can't wait.

The movie: The Car
The due date: Monday, August 4

In other news, has anyone ever made a movie about a flying shark? If not, someone totally should. Ooh! And the shark should go "honk...honkhonkhonnnnk" when it's not screeching like an eagle. And the mayor should totally refuse to cancel the annual beach festival despite all the warnings about the dangerous shark- then, after a dead body washes up on shore, he should totally cancel the festival...but it won't matter because the shark can fly and therefore NO ONE IS SAFE! It can get you anywhere!

"I think I hear the honking of that shark..."

It totally writes itself.

Celebrity Watch by Scoop

Celebs like Paris Hilton and Jennifer Aniston have been spotted wearing over sized watches. Now one of our favorite boutiques, Scoop, is offering their own watch on HSN.com for only $40. At that price, how could you go wrong?

Love the watch, Paris, but lose the flowers...

Kenneth Jay Lane's Butterfly Jewelry

Do butterflies ever go out of style? We say no! In fact, we are so obsessed with butterflies, we've planted a garden out our front door to attract them. (Not to mention one BFF that has a lovely tattoo on her back.) Kenneth Jay Lane must feel the same way, since we found these super summery pieces of his at Cusp. Thankfully, they're totally affordable: the earrings are $45 and the necklace is $90. You'll also find a fun interview with him while you're there. A couple of things we learned: he's dressed Audrey Hepburn and Sarah Jessica (two of our fave fashion icons) and he thinks every woman should wear a dozen bangles. We couldn't agree more!

Our Favorite Flip Flops

Whether you're on a girls' trip or taking a stay-cation, a girl can never have too many flip flops. You don't need us to tell you that Havaianas rein supreme--the come in every color in the rainbow and have groovy patterns. Order three pairs online and get free shipping.
We also love the new Bendel's Flip Flops with their signature brown and white stripes and your choice of strap color.

When you need a little extra height, check out these Timberland flips, available at Zappos.
We also buy a new pair of the super comfortable, terribly preppy critter flip flops from JCrew each season. The fruity cocktails on this pair simply make us smile.

Oh, and those Fit Flops you may have read about, word on the street is they don't work--and that comes from an inside source from Bliss. Save your money!

Jet-Setting While You Shower

We love maps. Whenever we travel, looking at the world map in the back of the in-flight magazine can keep us entertained for hours (well, at least a good 20 minutes). We love to picture the places we've been, dream about the places we're going and get a quick geography lesson (Thailand does border Cambodia). Believe it or not, it seriously relaxes us, even at 12,000 feet squeezed in next to an arm rest hog.

No surprise, our very first purchase for our soon-to-be new home, is this World Map Shower curtain from Target. Now we can lather up and shave our legs while we plan our next girls' trip!

Help with a Packing List

We found a site, 50 Things and Beyond, which provides check lists for all sorts of projects like parties, gifts, holidays and travel. Print out their lists and tweak them to suit your needs. For our packing list we added Ipod, travel speakers, phone charger, curling iron and sunscreen. They give you a great start. Besides it's always the obvious things we forget: like a bikini or sunglasses!

Happy travels (and packing)!

Film Club: Lifeforce

Well kids, here we are- the very first Film Club flick chosen by the people, for the people. I certainly hope the people are satisfied with Tobe Hooper's 1985 naked space vampire epic Lifeforce.

Hooper heads back to Texas Chain Saw territory and opens the film with a dead serious voiceover by John Larroquette- or at least, I think it's him. According to imdb.com, Larroquette's involvement is "unconfirmed"- is this really an unsolved mystery after nearly 25 years? Has no one, you know, asked him? Regardless, the narrator quickly gives us the skinny on all the space stuff: a joint mission between Brits and Americans has sent the shuttle Churchill tooling towards Halley's Comet in order to check it out.

The Churchill gang makes a startling discovery: there's some sort of craft traveling along near the head of the comet. It's 150 miles long, 2 miles high, and practically begging to be explored. Colonel Carlsen (Steve Railsback) heads up an away team who board the alien craft, only to find:

• it's seemingly derelict
• it's seemingly organic
  
• there are humongous bat-like aliens on board, all dried-out and dead
• there are three nudies lying in stasis in giant crystals

The Churchill informs the away team that one end of the alien craft has opened up to form a large, fleshy umbrella; Carlsen decides it's time to get out of there, but not before they grab a bat husk and the nudies for examination. I'm guessing that in the end, this will prove to be a decision most unwise. Lifeforce lesson #1: should you happen across a naked man or woman encased in crystal, do not bring him or her home.



30 days later, the Churchill is found by another shuttle crew and it's in a terrible state: there's been a fire on board. The escape pod has been launched, but the state of the crew bodies makes it impossible to determine who, if anyone, may have made it out alive. The Crystal Nudies, however, remain intact and unharmed! Naturally they're brought back to London for examination; I'm guessing that in the end, this will prove to be a decision most unwise. Lifeforce lesson #2: The Crystal Nudies is, quite possibly, the best band name ever.

Once on the dissecting table, the beautiful, mysterious, and naked Space Girl (Mathilda May) proves to be decidedly not dead- or is that undead? Either way, the fact remains: she's alive. She grabs an enamoured guard (no one can resist her naked beauty!) and they start to make out. The next thing you know, everything has gone all Spencer's Gifts and there's lightning everywhere, like this:


The poor guard withers away as they make out- it seems that Space Girl is sucking the very life out of him...his lifeforce, if you will! He ends up dead and looking all caca, like this:

Space Girl makes her way out of the Space Research Centre and just like that, the very thing mankind has feared since the beginning of time has come to pass: there's a naked space vampire on the loose! We all knew this day would come eventually, yet we find ourselves so unprepared.

The SAS arrives on the scene, and Col Colin Caine (Peter Firth) is determined to figure out just what the eff is going on. As the autopsy on the dead guard begins, Caine learns at least one thing: the guard may be all beef-jerkified, but he sure ain't dead! He springs back to corpsey life, grabs the closest doctor, and makes with the lifeforce-suckage. As the doctor withers, the guard plumps up again and seems no worse for the wear, although he's understandably confused. Lifeforce lesson #3: space vampirism, like cooties, is easily passed from person to person.


The Churchill's escape pod lands in Texas with Col Carlsen on board. He's quickly brought to London to help piece together this evil naked space vampire puzzle; through flashbacks, we learn that The Crystal Nudies decimated the crew of the Churchill, leaving Carlsen with no choice but to set the shuttle on fire before busting a move out of there so the naked space vampires couldn't make their way to Earth. Nice try, Carlsen, but not good enough.

For the next hour or so, Carlsen and Caine chase Space Girl through London and beyond as she jumps from body to body. They meet lots of interesting characters along the way, from Patrick Stewart as the director of a mental hospital to a nurse at the same hospital who's really into being slapped around. As the alien fleshy umbrella space ship heads toward Earth, the space vampire plague quickly spreads throughout the city and London falls under martial law. People are going nuts running around, fires are breaking out everywhere, and there's a Spencer's Gifts bonanza in the sky- in other words, it's an awful lot like the Cabbage Patch Kid riots of '83.

Can Carlsen and Caine save the world from The Crystal Nudies? Find out in the explosive, ambiguous, and all-nude finale!

The worst thing I can say about Lifeforce is that it absolutely overstays its welcome; at nearly 2 hours, it's more than a bit bloated and parts of it drag like nobody's business.

On the other hand, it's a hell of a lot of fun- I mean, is there ever a time when naked space vampires aren't fun? The effects hold up surprisingly well for a flick from the mid-80s. The animatronic corpses are rad*, there are all manner of space vampire dustings that are bitchin'*, the corpse made out of blood (yes, made out of blood) is gnarly*, and the Spencer's Gifts lightning isn't nearly as cheesy as the moniker implies.

Lest you think that Lifeforce is nothing but a naked effects extravaganza, however, let me assure you: this movie has a deeper message. That message is revealed when, as he tries to explain his attraction to Space Girl, Carlsen states:

She killed all my friends and I still didn't want to leave. Leaving her was the hardest thing I ever did.

See? It's all a metaphor for relationships. We've all had at least one of 'em: your girlfriend or boyfriend completely sucks the life out of you, all your friends hate him or her, your friendships fall apart and you're left weak, lethargic, and a mere shell of your former self...and yet, you stay with him or her for no reason beyond the fact that he's cute or she has great tits. Lifeforce lesson #4: relationships will kill you!

This film is probably Tobe Hooper's most ambitious (I'm not counting the shady mess that is Poltergeist) and it's a delightful (though a wee overlong) '80s romp, the likes of which you don't much see nowadays. There really aren't enough naked space vampires in the world of cinema today, don't you agree?

*this review brought to you by 1985 and the totally tubular Mountain Dew

___________________________________

Film Club Coolies, yall!

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The Legend of Bloggy Creek
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Headquarters 10
The Snark Hunter
(mim-uh-zeen)
Bloody Good Horror
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Kill Everybody in the Whole World
This Is Just A Modern Rock Blog
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Horror Film Magazine