Summer's Around the Corner, Are You Ready?

Whether you're getting ready for summer or your next trip to the tropics, the moisturizer you're using now may not be appropriate. We change up our whole skin care line in the summer, in fact one of us changes her cream to a super SPF and wears bronzer only.

When we were in Miami last time, we tried La Mer's new Moisturizing Gel Cream and loved it! It has all the same benefits as the original Creme de la Mer (hydration, repair, renewal, you know!); but in a much lighter formula. It was ultra light and left our skin smoother and firmer. The original formula would have been too rich in Miami's humidity. Actually, the original formula is just too rich at home for us.

We paired the Gel Cream with the SPF 18 Fluid Tint, which also has the beneficial seaweed extracts and antioxidants from La Mer. It too was light and provided sheer coverage (because you don't want your makeup caked on at the beach) and great sun protection.

You can find both a Saks, Neiman's, Bergdorf's, or www.lamer.com. These products come at a price, the Gel Cream retails for $220, the SPF 18 Fluid Tint for $65.

awesome movie poster friday- the LARRY COHEN edition!

This edition is brought to you by a discussion I had with a friend about Wicked Stepmother, which I can't say I've seen. Somehow, though, I find the fact that Bette Davis's last film was a Larry Cohen schlockfest a little amusing and a LOT depressing. It's Bette fucking Davis, y'all! Even though by the time this film rolled around (1989) she'd already been dead for seven years but didn't yet realize it...I don't know, she deserved better. Of course, as I said, I've never seen it, so it could be an amazing film for all I know. There are conflicting stories as to why Davis only appears in part of the movie; quoth the imdb trivia:

According to Ms. Davis, she was so disgusted by the script that she demanded it be rewritten, and left when the filmmakers refused. The script was then reshaped to explain her absence. Larry Cohen says Davis had to leave for New York for medical reasons and that she later claimed she left because of the script because she was worried she wouldn't be able to get another job if people thought she was in too bad health.

Yeah, that poster for It's Alive with the hand emerging in a sinister fashion from the bassinet is the one that absolutely terrified me when I was a wee bonny lass. Effective poster, I guess!

Is that a bassinet? I don't know from baby accessories and accoutrements.

Note the lack of posters for last year's Captivity (written by Cohen), because...fuck Captivity.

On Our Radar: Corning, New York

Admittedly, Central New York is an unusual pick for JSG, but as one half of us went to Syracuse for school, we have a soft spot for the area. If you're going to go, there's no better time than next week April 4-6 when the Annual Corning Glass Sale is happening. It's the only time of year when you can buy Steuben Glass as well as handiworks from all the local glass blowers on sale. You can even blow glass yourself.
Not packing your bags just yet? Downtown Corning has a "Chocolate Trail" (the first we've ever heard of one), a suggested path you follow with chocolate treats to sample along the way. But what will I wash all that chocolate down with, you ask? Corning is nestled in the Finger Lakes wine region, which we're told is only second to Napa for its concentration of vineyards. The area is know for its Rieslings, which we're going to say is an up and coming wine through our anecdotal experience.

Still on the fence? We suggest ending the weekend at the Turning Stone Casino, a short drive away in Verona, New York. We dream about the Skana Spa (sauna pictured above), which is said to rival Canyon Ranch in the Berkshires. It's treatments are Native American based and it features a "sweat lodge experience", which has to be one of the best ways to detox!

Two New Reasons to Love Cusp

We're lucky enough in D.C. to have two outposts of Cusp, a Neiman Marcus spin off. They've edited out all the filler and frumpy clothes, and hand picked gorgeous, stylish tops, dresses, and jeans. They've even laid out their favorite handbags, shoes, perfume, and makeup. It's a great place to score good deals when they're having sales too-- we just bought a gorgeous alice & olivia top and a Marc Jacobs dress!

This weekend Cusp opened their on-line shopping site (previously just a blog-but a fave of ours for their great fashion advice) and they've just announced that Lauren Merkin will be at the Cusp in Georgetown (3030 M St. NW) on Thursday, April 3rd from 6:00 to 8:00. She makes the best clutches from denim to leather to sequin. (We've featured them on JSG!) We would love to meet her and to sweeten the deal, Cusp is throwing in a free gift with purchase.

For more information on Lauren's visit, go to http://www.blogonthecusp.com/. To shop, go straight to http://www.cusp.com/.

Sir Linkzalot

Yo, mamas! Another week, another column over at AMC's Monsterfest Blog. This go-round it's a bit of a loving ode to the glory of 3D horror, albeit delivered in my usual rambly, tangent-laced, is she on The Crack? style. Seriously, I can't believe AMC is letting me play in their sandbox. I feel way out of my league!


The ever-lovin' Piper over at Lazy Eye Theatre has provided the public with a helpful guide to atmospheric water masses. Be informed, kids...and be safe!

Arbogast manages to name-drop photographer Cindy Sherman as he ruminates on the Funny Games poster, which means that Arbogast rules. I loves me some Cindy Sherman, y'all, for reals.

Alright, so today's more like Sir Linkzalittle. There's plenty of good non-Final Girl reading material to be found over in my sidebar, or hit up The Lamb for more. Jesus, I can't do all the work for you, you lazy bastards!

Forget the Book Club...

We knew we would like Maureen Christian Petrosky the moment she started talking about what wine pairs with PB&J. (The answer: Zinfandel). Though she's the author of The Wine Club, she's obviously not your typical wine snob.

We met her at the launch event for Seven Daughters wine, a new affordable wine that is a blend of seven grapes and is 100% delicious. (You can find it at some Targets and it retails for a suggested price of $15.) Maureen's book is a fresh take on the book club, which when you get down to it, is basically just an excuse to drink wine anyways.

Her book is broken down into months and gives appropriate wine and food pairings with recipes for the season. For example, April is "Merlot My Dear" and she gives several suggestions of wines to experiment with from an $8 bottle from Chile to a $30 bottle of Bordeaux and the suggested nibbles are Parmesan Cheese Straws and Deep Fried Green Olives.

We suggest you do as Maureen says and "Get Your Drink On" while strategizing how you'll get away for your next girls' getaway!




Buy The Wine Club here.

Our New Addiction

We recently stumbled upon the website: FreeRice.com and spent close to an hour playing its vocabulary game. For every word definition you get correct, 20 grains of rice are donated to the United Nations World Food Program. The combination of learning, competing and doing something good for the world makes it an unbeatable combo for us.

Some words were easy, like "ecru" and "chutzpah" (we haven't lived in NYC for more than a decade for nothing!). Some we learned: who knew "concrescence" means "growing together"? And others like "mahout" (an elephant driver) will come in handy when we finally take that dream vacation to India.

This is a great way to pass a few minutes on a dull day at work or for a teen to prep for the SAT. We are warning you: FreeRice.com is TOTALLY ADDICTIVE!

And I heard? This one time...

Ah, the urban legend. We've all heard countless tales of people dying when they consume soda and Pop Rocks simultaneously, or that guy who woke up to find "Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?" scrawled in blood on his wall, or "No really, my sister's friend totally knew this chick who got this cactus from Mexico and then one day she went to the doctor because she had really bad cramps and it turns out that all these spiders that were living in the cactus built a nest inside of her and all these baby spiders came out of her vagina." Good times, good times. Urban legends have long provided fodder for horror movies- horror movies like, uh, Urban Legend, Urban Legends: The Final Cut, and Urban Legends: Bloody Mary.

Fingerprints (2006) is supposedly based on one of these tall tales, but it's a new one to me: if you put your car in neutral on these train tracks where a bunch of kids died in an accident, the ghosts of the children will push your car to safety and leave behind ghostly fingerprints on your car windows. It all seems plausible to me- kids are always leaving filthy, greasy fingerprints everywhere in life, so why not in the afterlife?

feel the terror

In 1957 in an unnamed small town, a bus full of smiling, singing children meets the business end of a train when the guard and signal light at the track crossing fail. Ever since that dark and stormy night, the citizens of Unnamed Town have experienced a strange phenomenon at the site of the accident: if you put your ear to the train tracks, you can just make out the faint strains of Carol Channing singing "Hello, Dolly!"


No wait, sorry. What I meant was, if you put your car in neutral on the tracks, it'll roll off. Not nearly as exciting as Carol Channing, but still.

Melanie (Leah Pipes) arrives in Unnamed Town fresh out of rehab, ready to start life afresh and reunite with her bitch-cuckoo mom, her pushover-whipped dad, and her bland-hot sister (Kristin Cavallari). Boy, lemme tell ya, kicking heroin was a walk in the park compared to life in Unnamed Town for poor Melanie! Kids in school are mean because she's an ex-druggie, this one boy from school totally tries to rape her, and this little mute girl named Julie keeps following her everywhere.

As you could expect from any teenage girl, Melanie decides to solve The Mystery of Julie. Over several days of wacky adventures, she digs around the abandoned bus depot, talks to the town drunk, sees messages written in blood in various places, and chats with Sally Kirkland. It turns out that Julie is Sally Kirkland's sister- and one of the children who died in the horrible bus accident all those years ago! It might have been a shocking twist if we hadn't seen Julie riding the bus at the beginning of the film.

And yes, I'm calling Sally Kirkland Sally Kirkland instead of her character name, because it's just better that way.

Lest ye think you've got it all figured out, however, Fingerprints continues to deliver twists and turns, oh my brothers and sisters. Someone, you see, is killing the teenagers of Unnamed Town...who could it be?

no really, feel the terror

It's someone in a train conductor's outfit, that's who! Yup: after about a half hour of...well, nothing, Fingerprints turns into a slasher film. Melanie continues to get her Columbo on and finds out a bunch of crap that makes only a little sense: the bus accident never happened, someone was actually killing children back in 1957, there was some Nightmare on Elm Street-style justice, something about building highways and knocking down depots, and Sally Kirkland sports an "I do declare!" southern accent for no apparent reason.

a slumming Lou Diamond Phillips feels the terror, literally

All in all, it's a terribly dull affair. There's not much action to be found, and what little there is is decidedly unscary. The town history is convoluted, the ghosts don't do much, the slasher-style killings are cheesy, and the effects range from "meh" to "worst fake blood ever" to "holy shit, I totally forgot we're filming the graveyard scene today- someone run to Hobby Lobby, buy some styrofoam, and make some gravestones stat!"


Believe me, I'm all for movies with super-fake gravestones...unless the movie is just plain boring, as is Fingerprints. The only time I sat up and really took notice of the goings-on- and I mean literally sat up- happened in the last 15 seconds of the film. After yet another twist that made zero sense, there was this shot of a car swerving all over the road (due to, you know, terror)...but the footage was sped up and I swear, it looked like something straight out of Benny fucking Hill. It was an incredibly bizarre choice by the filmmakers, and probably the highlight of the movie.

"I do declare! I feel the terror!"

Given the general suckitude of this flick, it should come as no surprise that it lingered on the shelf for a couple of years: though it was produced in 2006, it was released on DVD only yesterday.

Oh my God, I heard about this girl? Who watched a horror movie that totally stunk and she was so bored the whole time! She ate a piece of cake, though, while she watched it and the cake was good. And then spiders came out of her vagina, I swear! I know her roommate.

New Rep, New Lipglass, Free Music!

Fergie is MAC's newest Viva Glam spokesperson and she's introducing the latest VG VI Lipglass. Visit the special section on their website (www.maccosmetics.com/fergie) to see behind the scenes coverage of the ad campaign, view ecards from Fergie, and most importantly download her new remix of Glamorous (called "Viva Glamorous")-the first 15,000 downloads are free! While you're there pick up the latest VG Lipglass, every dollar spent goes to the MAC AIDS Fund which has raised $100 Million to date!

Be a Star

We've always thought the downside to being a celeb must be dealing with the paparazzi. Who wants to go out for the morning Starbucks in sweats, sans makeup and get photographed? But we must admit we're intrigued by the Celeb 4 a Day personal paparazzi service.

Basically you hire your own paparazzi for an hour ($250) or an evening (up to $1,500) and a pack of photographers follow you around, shouting out questions (you supply them with appropriate dirt, like crushes, jobs, vacations, etc.). We imagine this must give you an edge when it comes to getting in a club. (Though following our guidelines accomplishes the same and you don't have to spend $250.)

Our SO would definitely get a kick out of this--he was just joking around with his friend the other day that he would make better fodder for US and Life & Style than most of the celebs. (He would!) We considered surprising our friend Heidi with the service on her upcoming birthday, but unfortunately the service is only available in Austin, LA and San Francisco at the moment. Fame will just have to wait!

when it's time to choose....

I'm keepin' things eighties-style and I'm going classic for the next Film Club selection, y'all:

NEAR DARK

Let's all take in director Kathryn Bigelow's film about those cooler-than-you vampires, who just so happen to be holding on to third place in the current "Favorite Bloodsucker?" poll over yonder on the right. Annnnd, you can watch the film, write about it, then head to Fangoria's Weekend of Horrors and get your nerd on by gushing all over star Jenette Goldstein and telling her how rad she is. That's my plan, anyway!

The film: Near Dark
the due date: Monday, April 21

Two New Products~ Two Totally Different Looks

Both Clinique and MAC introduced new foundation products this month. Clinique's gives you a polished, matte finish, while MAC's gives you a dewy, iridescent glow.

Clinique's new Almost Powder Makeup comes in the standard light green compact (remember the one you had in high school?). It goes on like a light foundation with good coverage and truly does dry like a powder. If you want an even sheerer look, they recommend using their new foundation brush. We can imagine keeping this in our purse this summer for quick touch ups or for a steamy night in the tropics when the glow is getting out of hand. It also has SPF 15, very important for the months ahead. Almost Powder retails for $22.50.

On the flip side, MAC's new Strobe Liquid, which is a thinner, lighter version of the popular Strobe Cream, goes on smoothly and gives a natural looking glow. We were sceptical at first, since we lean to the shiny side anyhow; but we were impressed even hours after using it. Our skin looked fresh and younger (oh yeah) and not greasy at all. It didn't provide opaque coverage for trouble spots; but even using it on the tops of your cheekbones over your regular foundation would give you a healthy glow. Strobe Liquid retails for $29.50.

You can find both at department stores nationwide this month or visit http://www.clinique.com/ and http://www.maccosmetics.com/.

Film Club: Scarecrows

1988 wasn't exactly a banner year for horror movies. Franchises were cramping up as they came around the back stretch; the year saw the fourth installments of Halloween, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and The Howling...part deux for Fright Night, Hellraiser, and Phantasm...and Jason Voorhees was showing off his ooey, gooey face yet again in F13 Part VII. Meanwhile, original properties were beginning that dangerous slide into "We really don't take this shit seriously anymore" territory with films such as Hide and Go Shriek. It's surprising, then, that 1988 would also see the release of Scarecrows, a film that keeps things simple and aims only to terrify.


When I said "keeps it simple", I meant "No really, wicked simple": a group of ex-military folk rob Camp Pendleton, kidnap a pilot and his daughter, and force said pilot to fly them to Mexico where they can enjoy their millions as they see fit. Problem is, the greedy get greedier (isn't that always the problem?) and the double-crossings begin.

Bert (BJ Turner) decides he wants the money all to himself, tosses a grenade in the plane, and jumps. Luckily for his robber cohorts, the grenade takes about 15 minutes to actually explode- long enough for someone to toss it out of the plane. Said cohorts land the plane and begin tracking Bert and the money; problem number two is, they've all managed to land in the spookiest cornfield ever- a cornfield chock full of homicidal scarecrows who are all ready to make with the chop-chop, the poke-poke, and the stuff-stuff (isn't that always problem number two?).

That's David James Campbell on the right, flyin' that plane high on cocaine. The only films on his resume are Scarecrows and Killer Workout...clearly, he's got the best resume EVER.

And that, my friends, is pretty much that. By the time the opening credits have finished rolling, the plot is out of the way. The remaining 80-odd minutes are all about scares and atmosphere as the bad guys run around in the dark, eat raw corn, and meet the business end of various pointy things wielded by perhaps the most frightening-looking scarecrows ever committed to celluloid (and yes, I'm counting Dark Night of the Scarecrow here...while that's undoubtedly a superior film, these straw dudes fucking rocked my face off).

What I like is that writer/director William Wesley doesn't get...you know, bogged down in details and explanations here. The scarecrows simply are- they're simply alive and mean. They simply want to make more scarecrows out of their victims, simply because. Simple, simple, simple. How do the dead, freshly stuffed with straw, get up and walk around? Bah, who knows? How are the scarecrows able to mimic voices in order to lure their victims out into the darkness? Pfft, whatevs. Scarecrows is meant to be a fun, scary ride- and it is.

This film looks like it had a budget of about $1.98, but that buck-ninety-eight is stretched to its limit. I've already mentioned how great the scarecrows look (seriously, this movie would have left me super damaged if I'd seen it as a kid), but I've got to give a shout out to the kill effects as well. There's not a ton of gore, but there certainly are a ton of wince-inducing moments: Wesley knows exactly where to poke a bitch to get the maximum cringe factor from the audience. Calves are repeatedly stabbed, hands are sawed off slowly, fingers are bitten off...man, someone gets stabbed in the fucking face! I watched this one alone and I was still embarrassed about the faces I was making in reaction to the on-screen carnage.

As much as I enjoyed Scarecrows (and I really did enjoy this movie, despite its shortcomings and occasionally odd dialogue ("demonic demons", anyone?)- I think its cult following is well-deserved), though, I kind of feel like we had our moment together and that's that. I'm sure I'll bust it out again at some point in the future, but I can't say I felt that super special spark that's going to put Scarecrows on my short list of forever awesome. You know, it's kind of like you have a little too much to drink with a friend some Friday night and then Saturday morning you're all "Well, that was fun and stuff, but it's not like we're dating now or anything".

Or something like that.

Wait, what?
_____________________________

Give it up for the Film Club Coolies!

Craig Moorhead
Aphorisms and Ectoplasm
The Horror Section
Media Kitten
Celeberrimous
Meg's Boyfriends in the News
The Film School Dropout
Look Back In Anger
Mermaid Heather
Chadzilla
Evil On Two Legs
The Cemetery Scene
Fade In
Kindertrauma
Askewed Views

Facialist to the Stars

When we were in LA for Fashion Week, we were lucky enough to get squeezed in for a facial at the Kate Somerville Clinic. We've read about it in just about every celeb magazine known to man: Kate takes care of the skin of, oh let's see, Paris Hilton, Jessica Alba, Sharon Stone, Lindsay Lohan, Debra Messing, Ellen Pompeo, Kerry Washington, Kate Walsh and Sandra Oh, just to name a few. And the celeb factor didn't disappoint: when we were waiting for our appointment, the receptionist was saying that Michelle Tractenberg had just had her eyebrows done there.

Could any facial live up to that amount of hype? Yes, and then some.

We had the Dermal Quench facial, which felt like little puffs of air, in a totally pleasant way. The puffs are actually shots of oxygen infused with vitamins and hyaluronic serum. All we know is that we could literally feel our skin getting plumper and less tired during the treatment. Afterwards, our skin was glowing and we truly were "Red Carpet Ready" as the brochure promised.

We've been using the Quench serum religiously. Our skin hasn't looked this good in years. We expect to get carded any day now!

Kate's products are available through 800-984-KATE.

As a funny aside, we learned that Johnny Depp used to have his office upstairs in a space that will soon be the clinic's VIP area. When we asked the manager if Johnny was as cute in person, she said yes, and they used to get excited when they could see Johnny's feet on his balcony!

Turn Down Service

Here's what we our fellow bloggers were talking about this week:

We learned Jenna Menard's must have products on Beauty of Life.

We peeked inside Beauty Maverick's medicine cabinet.

A Mom in Red High Heels filled us in on the Khiel's "Open Road" contest.

We found the perfect flat iron for traveling thanks to Talking Makeup.

Makeup Bag got us all excited for the Heatherette/MAC collaboration!

Girls Gone Glam: March 27th

Those of you in Washington: shop, support, and socialize--all for a great cause! The Washington D.C. affiliate of Dress for Success will hold its annual "Girls Gone Glam" at the Kimpton's Hotel Palomar in Dupont Circle from 6:30 pm to 9:30 pm next Thursday night, March 27th. Dress for Success helps outfit women who are re-entering the work force. Kimpton will provide the food and cocktails. Other reasons to attend are a silent auction, trunk shows by local boutiques, and beauty trends from area salons. Tickets are $60 on line or $65 at the door. We hope to see you there!

For more information and to purchase tickets, visit http://www.dfswashingtondc.org/.

Scoop for All

We’re guessing you don’t need us to tell you how awesome a store Scoop is—we love it for everything from going out tops and dresses to jeans that make our butt look perky to killer accessories. But as the e-commerce site is under construction, you’re out of luck unless you live or are vacationing in one of the 7 states where they have stores. Until now!

Scoop owner and all around Girl We Want to Be, Stefani Greenfield is presenting select Scoop accessories on HSN tomorrow, March 22 from 11 am-noon EST.

We particularly love the watches—they kind of reminds us of the Chanel J12 watch at a tiny, tiny fraction of the cost ($48!). We're coveting the black one!

UPDATE: It's actually 11pm-Midnight, March 22nd. Happy shopping!

awesome movie poster friday- the LET'S COMPARE edition!

The images for Ju-On 2 and Ringu are seriously effing creepy.