Part III- 3 Dimensions of Meh
OK, you know how just a little while ago I complained that there's no satisfying resolution to Part II? Well, it doesn't matter, because Part III completely refutes it anyway. In Part II, Jason gets a machete to the neck/shoulder in his shack. Ginny and Paul head back to a cabin, Jason busts through the window, machete still intact- cut to Ginny being wheeled away on a gurney, asking about Paul. At the beginning of Part III, we see Jason get the machete chop courtesy of Ginny...Ginny and Paul limp away from the shack, then Jason pulls out the machete and slithers away on the shack floor. In addition, Part III supposedly takes place a few hours after Part II, but somehow Jason has lost all of his crazy mountain-man wispy hair and is now completely bald. What the-? That tears it. Friday the 13th series, I may now hold a grudge against you.

This entry in the series is most notable for the following: Jason gets his hockey mask, and I had some nachos while watching it. Actually, OK, there are some creative kills here. There's the spear gun shot through the eye- I'm sorry, but Jason killing you from 30 feet away kinda kicks ass. There's also the machete hack between the legs of the dude walking on his hands, and the head squeezed until the eyeball flies out at the camera. That's right, AT the camera- this one is in 3D, remember? So there's lots of silly shots of things pointing at the camera. What was with that 3D craze America went through, anyway? There was F13, Jaws, Amityville Horror...I'm sure I'm forgetting some. How silly we are. I shouldn't have been surprised when the Macarena hit it big. This one's got the highest body count so far: 12.

Final Girl Christy is irritating throughout the entire movie- bitchy, whiny, and unfriendly, even though she's the hostess for this weekend getaway. I must give her props, though, for her behavior when she's the only one left standing against Jason. She pulls a knife out of her dead friend's back, stabs Jason twice, then jumps out a window; she puts a rope around his neck and pushes him out of a hayloft, and when that's not enough, she puts an axe in his skull. And she's stark raving mad when it's all over.

Bad omens for future entries in the series: the film is a "Jason, Inc." production, Harry Manfredini's score is replaced by a cheesy 80s synth beat (though the original music chimes in over the killings), and it's the first entry that doesn't take itself very seriously. The counsellors are becoming straight-up stereotypes, and there's frequent attempts at overt humor. For examples of both, check out the dope smoking hippy couple. I had forgotten, too, about the silly little biker gang, featuring the Debbie Allen looky-likey "Foxy". Bleh.

Oh dear god...I've only watched 3 movies so far...