Blecch ChristmASS

It's time to talk about the elephant in the room, folks. I'm talking, of course, about the trailer for the upcoming remake of Black Christmas.

Despite the fact that it's a remake of one of my favorite slasher flicks, I was willing to give it a chance. I do loves me some horror movies. After viewing the trailer, however, I think the only reason I'd go see it, the only reason it's piqued my interest whatsoever, is the fact that...wait. I can't think of anything, really, to et me in the theatre except that it's a horror movie! The trailer makes it look like any plain ol' mindless cut-em-up you've seen a hundred times before. Shmeh. And girl, don't even get me started on the "drunk" sorority sister! A pale, pale follow up to Margot Kidder's turn in the original.

There's a review of the flick up at indie London already, and it's rated an abysmal 1 out of 5. This quote, to me, is the most telling:

None of the sullen characters warrant any sympathy and merely exist to titillate or get slayed, while the killer himself is over-burdened by a cumbersome back story.

Ah, the cumbersome back story idea. See, the biggest thing the original flick has going for it is the fact that we know nothing about the killer in the attic. Who is he? Why is he killing these girls? We never find out, and it's supremely creepy and haunting. Sure, you can maybe piece together a little something from the content of the obscene phone calls, but it's all speculation. The randomness makes it scary- that's the essence of the movie. Learning that the killer is an escaped lunatic who killed his girlfriend 18 years ago or whatever does not add anything- a huge backstory only serves to demystify and thus...err...de-scarify the entire affair.

For the love of Charles Nelson Reilly, how many fucking times do I have to say it? In horror, most of all, less is more. Have we learned nothing to the havoc wrought on perfectly fine killers when weighed done by a huge "history"? Have we not seen Jeepers Creepers or the Halloween sequels? Come on.

But anyway. Ubercritic Kim Morgan has a super-duper piece about the whole Black Christmas thang over at her super-duper site, Sunset Gun. Go read her thoughts (which contain at least 87% less swearing than mine do) and the skinny on the whole how dare society debut a horror film on Christmas Day?! debacle. Yes, the religious groups are upset, just as they were way back when Silent Night, Deadly Night was released. My favorite "angry letter" from that period came from the furious pen of one Mickey Rooney, wherein he opined

I'm all for the First Amendment but...the scum who made that movie should be run out of town!

Of course, as far as I'm concerned, the fact that the movie is opening on Christmas is the biggest reason why I might get to a theatre to check it out. What is there to do on Christmas after, say, 2pm anyway? Once the gifts have been given, one can eat only so much Jubilee Roll before one desires a horror movie. It's natural.