Please, put ME on a meathook...

Let me just start off by saying that I do give new movies a chance. Really, I do. I may do a little ragin', but the fact of the matter is, I want to watch horror movies, so I do. Even the remakes- which (gasp) aren't always bad. (Hey, I like House on Haunted Hill, even if it does fall apart at the end...) But you know what it's like to read something and you just have to fall to your knees, raise your fists to the sky, and cry "Nooooooooooo! For the love of Charles Nelson Reilly, NOOOOOOOO!"? That happened today, when I came across a news item about the Michael Bay produced Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning. Particularly this nugget of joy...no wait, I mean this nugget of bile-inducing info:

The story will go backward a couple of years, trying to answer questions about the character Leatherface. In this prequel, the filmmakers want to explain why Leatherface uses a chainsaw, and how his mask originated.

Umm...can I ask why we need to know why Leatherface uses a chainsaw? Wait, I'll answer that. Because that's what he fucking uses, that's why! Doesn't anyone understand anything? Huh? Don't they? I'm about to get all "Gimme the bat, Wendy" up in here, I tells ya.

Hint to modern horror moviemakers: Michael Myers was scary because he was the boogeyman. He was just "evil". He was everywhere and he was nowhere. Leatherface was a crazy dude in a crazy family that you were thankful you didn't come across...'cause, didn't the movie seem kinda real? Like, maybe that guy's still out there, twirling around with his chainsaw...?

Sheesh. If I want an explanation for why a guy would wear other people's flesh as...accoutrements, I'll watch Silence of the Lambs.

Oh, and the Charles Nelson Reilly thing will pass, I promise. I mean it this time.