The Mellencamps

Baby, sometimes bad movies just hurt so good! Over at AMC today I've listed 10 of my favorite bad horror movies, so check it out! I've talked about most of them before, I think, but it never hurts to spend some more time discussing Rumplestiltskin.

OR DOES IT?

Red Door Spa and Body Scrubs

Last week we had the Signature Stress Melter Ritual at the Red Door Spa at the Willard InterContinental Hotel in D.C. It was the total body rejuvenator as it began with a full body scrub, then a long, steamy shower, followed by a body wrap, and ended with a 50 minute massage. Afterwards, we were ready to conquer a tough work week and our skin was smooth and ready to apply the much needed self-tanner. This newly opened salon which is open 7 days a week is in a central and historic location if you're working or visiting D.C. and it was staffed with a handful of helpful, friendly and talented aesthesticians. There's a hair salon, larger rooms for group events (like bridal parties or girls getaways), a nail salon and a beautiful deck for eating spa food or sunning yourself. We'll be returning soon, next time with some friends.

Since Memorial Day is this weekend, it's time for most of us to get some color on our legs. Before you apply your self-tanner, it's important to slough off the dead skin first.
If you'd like to do your own scrub at home, here are a few of our favorites.


LaLicious Passion Fruit Lime Sugar Souffle Scrub is a combination of sugar, salt, and coconut oil that leaves your skin smooth and soft. There are several other tempting scents to choose from including Lily Mango, Island Guava and Tahitian Flower. Passion Fruit Lime is featured at the Laguna Cliffs Resort and Spa.

The Body Refiner by La Mer is a luxurious blend of La Mer's sea ingredients and diamond dust. It leaves the skin super polished and glowing. The characteristic La Mer scent reminds of us the toiletries at the SoBe Ritz Carlton which isn't a bad memory to have!

Origins Incredible Spreadable Ginger Scrub uses salt and sugar to scrub and polish your skin and olive oil to moisturize. The natural ginger scent combined with a steamy shower, makes for amazing aromatherapy. This has been a favorite of ours and our friends for years. Follow it with the Ginger Body Souffle for wonderfully soft skin.

If you thrilled to the exploits...

...of Ghostella's Haunted Tomb, then perhaps you'll enjoy this new trailer for Deadly Dress 4: Never A Bride. Surely you recognize the title from my list of 50 Horror Films I'd Like to See. Surely you'll recognize some familiar faces: there are Ghostella alums Heidi Martinuzzi, Elissa Dowling, and Bridget McManus; there's Bobbi Sue Luther of Laid To Rest; there's Shannon Lark of Ludlow; and there's Lena Headey of...well, enough stuff to make you wonder what she's doing in the trailer for Deadly Dress 4: Never A Bride.


If you like what you see, head over to Funny or Die and vote 'funny'. Frankly, I'm no longer sure if it's actually funny or not, but if it's not...I swear I can do better! Just please don't make me DIE because of it. I mean...it DOES feature a crazy townsperson, without which no horror movie is complete!

Also, you know, if there's enough public interest I'll TOTALLY make the prequel film, The Whiskeytown Dress Murders. Which...is something.

DEADLY DRESS 4: NEVER A BRIDE trailer - watch more funny videos

Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus vs Final Girl

When the trailer for Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus began making the rounds a couple of weeks ago, it spawned an internet boner heard 'round the world. How could it not? Among the tantalizing highlights are a mega-shark chomping the Golden Gate Bridge, a mega-shark leaping into the air to chomp a commercial airliner, and the promise of appearances by Lorenzo Lamas and Deborah Gibson. If there's that much awesome packed into a two-minute trailer, then surely the other 90 minutes of the film will be so awesome that Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus will rip through the very fabric of space and time and create a new universe all its own, right? Well, those were my expectations, anyway, and I really don't think they were too high.

The fact that MS vs GO comes from The Asylum is either a cause for alarm or for celebration, depending on your tastes. The Asylum, see, is the Designer Imposter Fragrances of the movie world: they're the ones responsible for Snakes on a Train. When The Day the Earth Stood Still hit theaters, The Asylum rushed to release The Day the Earth Stopped. Michael Bay's Transformers, meet The Asylum's Transmorphers...and so on and so on. They're shameless, and I kinda dig that. However, my grudging admiration doesn't mean their films are actually any good; rather they're an orgy of awful: bad acting, bad CGI, bad green screen, and bad writing combine to form a sweaty miasma of- you guessed it- bad movie awesomeness. Suffice it to say, Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus had a lot to live up to.

If there's one thing I learned from my beloved Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (and believe me, I've learned way more than one mere thing!), it's that nothing gets the blood pumping like hot, hot underwater mini-sub throttle action. Right off the bat, MS vs GO doesn't disappoint: Deborah Gibson and a pal are tooling around in a mini-sub, looking for...stuff...and there's plenty of button-pushing and throttle throttling to satisfy even the most cynical movie fan.

What's perhaps most magical is that sometimes Deborah Gibson is wearing goth nail polish, and sometimes she's not.

Let's get this out of the way: I love Deborah Gibson in this movie. I like the fact that she's got some years on her. She's earnest, a bit charming, and she manages to say lines like "There's poetry here!" in a way that doesn't completely make you want to kill yourself. Bravo, Asylum, for casting her. I hope she's in every movie ever made from now on, amen.

Some Army dudes or something or other drop some sonar something something...eh, it didn't make much sense. Just know this: the mega-shark and the giant octopus were frozen in place as they were grappling (presumably) to the death (the Ice Age came on fuckin' fast, y'all), but now they're free! Free to grapple! Free to fight! Free to be you and me KILL!

And kill they do, sort of. Frankly, the trailer shows all the best bits, like when the mega-shark takes down the Golden Gate Bridge...

...or when it inexplicably leaps...what, 15,000 feet into the air to take down a jumbo jet:

Besides the OBVIOUS amazingness of the sequence, the shark vs plane scene provided another moment that will live forever in my heart of hearts: as the plane hits some turbulence, a stewardess asks a man to take his seat. The man replies, "I'm getting married in two days." It makes no sense- did he then expect her to respond with "Oh, sir, we had no idea- in that case we'll go around the turbulence!"? I assume it's supposed to add some poignancy to the man's imminent death at the mega-teeth of mega-shark, but all it adds, in the end, is more nonsensical awesomeness.

These positively mysterious deaths cause Deborah Gibson and her cronies to DO SOME SCIENCE. Apparently they work at the Kool-Aid Institute for Underwater Studies, as their "research" involves pouring one colored liquid into a container of another colored liquid, then frowning at the results.




My oh my, I love it when people do science in movies.

After she has sex with a co-worker in the employee breakroom, Deborah Gibson has an idea: they should use pheromones to lure the mega-shark and the giant octopus into some kinda traps! It's a foolproof plan, I tells ya! Lorenzo Lamas shows up as some sort of...err, Army guy, I guess, whose job it is to have a ponytail and to glower.

I'll admit, Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus was a somewhat rollicking good time up until this point; then everyone piled into a submarine and the proceedings came to a big, fat, grinding halt as there was about a half an hour of this:

Deborah Gibson looking concerned, the...uh...submarine driver looking nervous, the captain saying "steady!", and Lorenzo Lamas hiding his face in shame. Seriously, this went on forever.

Eventually, the mega-shark and the giant octopus resume their battle, and I have to wonder what happened between them that caused them to hold a grudge for millions of years. I bet it involved infidelity. Somehow, in my dreams, a weave is also involved.

The biggest fault with Mega-Shark vs Giant Octopus is that there's simply not enough mega-shark vs giant octopus. That's what folks wanna see- these two CGI behemoths duking it out. We want to see more ridiculous, impossible outrageousness. If the shark took down the Golden Gate Bridge, then why couldn't the octopus go after the Statue of Liberty? It's all made out of computer anyway, so the filmmakers should just balls-out go for it. It's not about making it real, it's about making it fun. Unfortunately, the fun to not-fun ratio in this film is roughly 1:5. I expect those odds to improve in the sequel. Yes, the ending sets up for one, and yes, I'm already looking forward to it- especially if Deborah Gibson is back to do more science!

BMW Cruise Bike at the Fairmont Hotels in Canada

Sightsee, burn calories, help save the environment and look cool doing it? The Fairmont Hotels & Resorts in Canada now extends this complimentary – yes, complimentary service to its guests that make this possible. Travelers to the Fairmont Chatueau Whistler can explore on mountainside bike paths while guests to the Fairmont Queen Elizabeth can tool around Montreal from the seats of these sleek bikes that are unlike anything they’ve hopped on before. We’re not talking about your old banana seat bike you rode around the neighborhood. Think more along the lines of a comfortable, smooth ride in a BMW, only you’re on two wheels, not four. Don’t be nervous if it’s been a while since you last rode a bike. These are easy to use because the tires are wider than normal which helps you balance.

The Fairmont Hotels & Resorts will provide you with everything from helmets and locks to shorts, t-shirts and sneakers to mp3 players. We think that’s pretty thoughtful and can’t wait til this program spreads to the hotel’s properties in the U.S. and the Caribbean!

Fairmont Hotels arond the world are offering up to 20 percent off with their "Everyone's an Original" Summer Rate Program.

Ava Hoffman

Introducing Our New Assistant Editor: Ava Hoffman!

JSG is SO excited to announce that we have a new assistant editor, Ava Hoffman. Ava loves to travel with her girlfriends as much as we do: she's currently planning her sister's bachelorette party to Fire Island. She loves music, playing sports, reading, and finding new and fun things to do and see. She spent a semester abroad in Florence, Italy and traveled all throughout Europe as well as Mexico, the Caribbean and the good ol' U-S-of-A. She graduated from the University of Wisconsin-Madison (Go Badgers!) last year and now lives in NYC.

Ava will be writing posts, contributing a 20-something viewpoint and attending NY-based events for us.

Welcome, Ava!

Summer Beach Reads '09

It's that time of year again, when we're looking for a book that will absorb our attention without making our brain stretch too hard. We have a round up from our friends on Twitter and a few selects of our own.

I Was Told There'd Be Cake by Sloan Crosley comes to us from The Daily Lather. It's a collection of essays from a New Yorker in her mid-20s that cover the range from being a bridesmaid to vegetarianism to what her apartment looks to others like should she die unexpectedly. (To our surprise, we found out this weekend that a few of our friends do actually worry about this!)



The Ex-Mrs. Hedgefund Jill Kargman from Elite Travel Gal. There's no better tome for these recessionista days!


The School of Essential Ingredients Erika Bauermeister is Ildiko J's reco. Ildiko's one of our favorite makeup artists whom we know has impeciable taste. We do/buy/try everything she tells us to. We're doubly excited about it as Amazon likens it to Chocolat and Like Water for Chocolate.




Our friend Julia suggests Queen Takes King by Gigi Levangie Grazer, author of The Starter Wife. Julia's on a level with Kate Moss in terms of cool, so we know this is what all the hip girls will be reading on the beach this summer.



This is one of our picks: Pretty in Plaid: A Life, a Witch, and a Wardrobe, or, the Wonder Years Before the Condescending,Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smart Ass Phase by Jen Lancaster. If Jen's Bitter is the New Black got us through the early days of being laid off, we have no doubt her latest can get us through a few days at the beach. You can follow Jen Lancaster on Twitter, too. Maybe after this plug she'll start following us!



And another one: Love Will Tear Us Apart: A Novel Sarah Raimone. Becuase how can you not like a novel named after a Joy Division song that reviewers call "sexy, funny and brilliant"?


Our new assistant editor, Ava Hoffman, calls Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Murakami, one of the best books she's ever read. "It's a longer read but everyone I recommended it to loved it."
Our friend Paula recommends Whacked by Jules Asner (model, E! t.v. personality and wife of director Steven Soderbergh) authored her first book which is part intrigue part chick lit.
And if you prefer something on the heavier side even though it's summer, try The Third Angel: A Novel by Alice Hoffman.