from Ye Olde Vaulte: ALIENS

Because I haven't watched anything, I'm feeling lazy, and people didn't my comic strip review of Track of the Moon Beast, I've decided to post this old strip which I found earlier tonight when I was digging around in my hard drive* for...something.

You'll notice, perhaps, that this Aliens strip ends in a very similar fashion to the Track of the Moon Beast strip. I like to think that's because I'm "exploring themes" and not because I'm "lame" and I "only have two jokes". But still, it's a weird...I don't know, coincidence? Whatever you want to call it. I touched on it yesterday, but I think it's worth noting as a notable note: I truly did begin the Moon Beast strip intending it to be something completely different than what it ended up as. You know, I thought it might be an actual review that would at the very least make mention of "California Lady". Then I just started drawing and, well, you saw what happened. I guess this is just how my brain functions. Stupid brain!

Anyway. Click to embiggen!




I would also like to point out that either that bus is fucking humongous, or that old woman is extremely small.

Also, there's apparently a bus stop right outside the spaceship docking bay.



*not as hot as it sounds

I'm so totally reminding you...

...that tonight's episode of The Scare-ening will feature the legendary Joe Bob Briggs*. I think you should call in to talk to him- I mean, it's a live program and he's contractually obligated** to take your calls. You can also log into the show's chat room to ask questions if that's more your style.

8pm PST/11pm EST- be there and be square!

* If you don't know who Joe Bob Briggs is, I'm not sure we have anything left to say to each other.

**not true

Cosabella for SATC Cutie/Bootie Thong Set

We're gearing up for the next movie installment of Sex and the City this summer.  Here's a new way: the Cosabella for SATC Cutie/Bootie thong set for spring.  If we had to pick a favorite it would be Charlotte's purple pair.  Which is your pick?  Available at the HBO store in NYC (1100 6th Avenue at 42nd Street) or www.hbo.com/store.

Track of the Moon Beast!

Click to embiggen!







I realize I didn't mention the awesome musical interlude, or the fact that in the end, Professor Johnny Longbow kills Lizard Paul, who "explodes"- meaning, the screen turns red. What can I say? I start these comics and then they end up in a different place than I'd originally intended. C'est la something something.

I did, however, write about my favorite scene from this film and how much it affected me when I was a dumb kid over at Mermaid Heather...so, you know, you can read that if you want to.

Livespeakr Compact Sound System at Urban Outfitters

We always travel with our portable speakers; because they sound better than most clock radio versions you find in hotel rooms.  Plus, we love to have them in the bathroom when we're getting ready for a big night out.  This pocket sized set of speakers for the iPhone, iPod, Google Nexus, and Palm Pre, were built for full sized sound.  They were designed by a couple of young Urban Outfitters customers, so where else but the UO with its electric mix of goods would be better to find them ? For more information go to  http://www.digitalgroupaudio.com/ and http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/.

Bobbi Brown Brightening Skincare

Bobbi Brown's new line of brightening skincare includes a hydrating lotion, intensive serum, moisture cream, SPF 50 face base, and a spot treatment corrector with SPF 25. Though we're daunted by a five step regimen, we're suckers for a great serum, so that and the SPF 50 base would be the first two products we'd love to try. Here's what Bobbi had to say about the new line:

“I believe beauty starts with healthy, glowing skin. Traveling through Asia, I’ve discovered that many brightening skincare lines do not address women’s immediate need to cover dark spots. I used my makeup artist’s perspective to create this simple 5-step regimen: It includes skincare to give you brighter, smoother and clearer skin over time—and treatment makeup to give you a beautiful, even complexion instantly.”

Salon AKS Brushes

 

I discovered these great brushes when I had my Brazilian Blowout.  They're manufactured in France exclusively for Salon AKS, made of silk and designed for smooth and shiny blowouts. 

I tested the large and small round brushes at home.  The bristles really grab your hair, so much so that you need to use some extra pull to get them through.  The results are worth the effort, though, they left my hair much sleaker than my old, synthetic standby.  The brushes are available in the NYC salon and on line.
This review was based on a sample.

When do you wear sequins?

We laughed at this recent marketing email from Tory Burch, "When do you wear sequins?" 

Well, naturally as often as we possible can!  Not only do we like to push what you wear at night; why not have fun and push wearing sequins any time of day.  It's easy, especially if you find yourself in Vegas.

We love this party dress from the spring collection.

Eat, Pray, Love preview

We'll admit, when we first heard Julia Roberts was set to play Elizabeth Gilbert in the movie version of Eat, Pray, Love, we were pretty skeptical; but the preview--including Julia--looks pretty damn fantastic. It opens August 13.

a new thing

Check it: comedian, recurring guest on Ghostella's Haunted Tomb, and friend of the ol' FG Bridget McManus has a new show premiering on LOGO TV in about 13 hours (that's 4am PST, kids, the best time slot in the history of ever)! It's called Bridget McManus Presents: That Time of the Month and it's going to have a bunch of...stuff...on it. You can watch a teaser intro here, but it won't tell you anything about anything. I don't know anything about anything, but I do know this: the premiere episode will feature my short film Taste of Flesh, Taste of Fear. KA-BOOM!

Set your TIVOs, or stay up. Or catch it in reruns. Or catch it with Rerun if you have the ability to communicate with the dead. The point is, catch it and getcher lesbian vampire on!

I would also like to mention that next month's episode of That Time of the Month will mark the beginning of an all-new series from yours truly. I'll tell you all about it when That Time draws closer...mua ha ha indeed!

"Uggh..."

"That's fucking disgusting."

easy like monday mornin'

A few things of note!

- I almost forgot...this is the last week to vote in the Rondo Awards! Voting closes April 3rd. The ballot is daunting and it generally serves to remind me how many movies I have not seen in the last year; however, you don't have to vote in every category. Final Girl is nominated in category 15, Best Horror Blog. I think that's neat and I'm thrilled to be nominated.


- Magnet has snagged US distribution rights to [REC] 2 and...gasp...they're planning an early July theatrical release for the film. THEATRICAL! RELEASE! THEATRICAL! I can't wait.


- This week on The Scare-ening, Heidi and I will be welcoming Joe Bob Briggs as our special guest. Joe Bob Briggs! Yes, of Drive-In Theater and MonsterVision. Yes, that Joe Bob Briggs. Yes, it's very exciting, and yes, you should call in to talk to him.


- I realize that there is an abundance of exclamation marks and a dearth of pictures in this post. Well, 1) there are many exciting things happening in this post and as such exclamation marks are appropriate (though, yes, overused)...and 2) Blogger is being a cooch swell.

Reveille at the Ritz-Carlton Dove Mountain Tucson

The newly opened Ritz-Carlton Dove Mountain is hosting a girls-getaway with Joan Lunden of "Good Morning,America" on April 15th-18th.

Reveille at the Ritz includes three nights lodging, all meals, one spa treatment, and a weekend filled with hiking, yoga, golf instruction, and fitness classes. Prices from $1,500 exclusive of travel expenses.

Easy and Inexpensive Tips for a Whiter Smile

Dentist to celebrities, Dr. Laura Torrado, shared with us these tips to getting a brighter smile (and keeping it that way) without the big price tag associated with laser teeth whitening.  We'd add our favorite OTC product, Go Smile, to her list.

Here's what Dr. Torrado recommends:

1. Over the counter whitening strips are an inexpensive alternative to professional bleaching kits or office bleaching


2. Daily brushing and flossing after every meal is the most inexpensive and easy way to maintain a healthy, beautiful looking smile

3. Baking soda, hydrogen peroxide, table salt and a dab of toothpaste are the perfect ingredients to a home whitening concoction

4. Do not use teeth whitening recipes that involve lemon or orange peels- they decalcify and de-mineralize your enamel making it more prone to decay

Outnet Designer Dollar Sale

Register RIGHT NOW for the amazing Outnet First Birthday celebration. To celebrate turning one, the online designer bargain basement of Net-a-Porter is selling gorgeous designer clothes, bags, shoes and more for only $1 on April 16. The only catches--you must register before April 11 and you only get to buy one piece for a buck. Choose wisely--or get your non-fashionista friends to register for you.

The Emilio Pucci Paiellette Tank Dress, above, was originally $4,455

The Zac Posen iconic Metallic Dress, below, was originally $1,500

For more sneak peeks, check out the NYPost.com.

Victoria's Secret Shoot on Necker Island

Admittedly, we're probably the only ones watching the Victoria's Secret Swim Videos to gawk at the scenery of Necker Island, instead of the gorgeous models (It's pretty much the same way we feel about the Sport's Illustrated Swim Issue.). Necker Island is home to the ultra-exclusive Sir Richard Branson-Virgin resort and is right up there with Mustique as a favorite vacation-hideaway of the rich and famous. Watch the video and you'll understand our fascination.

The London West Hollywood

On our trip to L.A. last month, we checked out the Andaz and the new W Hollywood, but we actually rested our pretty little heads at The London West Hollywood. See what Annie had to say about it on the About.com Honeymoons site.

Clinique Even Better Clinical Dark Spot Corrector

Around the world, women of all ethnicities are increasingly concerned with evening out their skin tone--including the two of us!  Women who are darker complected or who have sensitive skin have to be careful with products that can be too harsh.  Clinique's new Even Better Clinical Dark Spot Corrector is designed to reduce the signs of acne scars, brown spots and other dark pigment in four weeks for any woman with any skin type.  Clinique tested it against prescription strength brighteners and their studies show that their Dark Spot Corrector worked as good or better.

Like with all whitening products, you are advised to avoid the sun while using it--so hold off on trying this if you have any spring break plans.

Here's what Hope says: I've used it for only a week even though I don't have many dark spots or scars that concern me.   I wanted to test it for gentleness and see if I'd see a general evening out and brightening of my complexion.  So far, I haven't seen dramatic changes; but I'll keep you posted.

Here's what Annie says: I've tried everything to get rid of the brown spots--some that I've had for close to ten years. I've had laser procedures, tried IPL and used a La Roche-Posay product two years ago and the suckers haven't budged. Though I'm fair, I'm always diligent with sunblock. I've been using the Clinique Even Better Clinical Dark Spot Corrector  for two weeks and haven't noticed any lightening. Check back in April for an update!

Annie's update:  It has been close to six weeks now and my brown spots haven't lightened a bit. To be fair, I recently met with Dr. Linda K. Franks of Gramercy Park Dermatology in New York, who says that mine are particularly tough to treat because they're not that dark. She gave me another IPL treatment and...nada. Dr. Franks' advice: Try a retinol cream and/or let them darken up over the summer and try IPL again in the fall. The good news: my broken capillaries, along with the ensuing redness they caused, disappeared and my skin looks clearer than it has in years!

Available at department stores and on Clinique.com.

This review is based on free samples.

Web Snob Roundup 3-26-10

In honor of SJP's birthday - a Carrie Bradshaw style quiz at FabSugar!
 
Looking for a concealer with light coverage that can double as a highlighter? Get yours at Beauty Snob.

Can you guess what Fashion Pulse Daily's 'It' Bag of the month is (hint: lots of hardware)? And, get an exclusive 20% off at HandbagHeaven.com!
 
The Jet Set Girls are giving away Physician's Formula Makeup! 

SHEfinds rounds up all the best online sample sales from across the web. Look no further. 

Second City Style gets the scoop on the hot shoe trends for spring direct from Simon Doonan of Barneys. 

Shopping and Info loves the wedge platform espadrilles trend that Jennifer Aniston wore in the Bounty Hunter movie. 
 
Get ready for Easter and get your annual picture framed for the Spring in a personalized bunny frame at Tot Snob!

StyleBakery hunts down this season's most-wanted shoe styles - all for under $150. 

White Hot Shorts for all occasions at Couture Snob!

Stylehive says that the latest doodle print trend puts a whole new stylish spin on scrawling. 

The Shoe Goddess shows you how to do polka dots with these retro Tabitha Simmons Slingbacks! 

Donna Karan Sabre Tooth Necklace for that LBD at Jewel Snob.

MTV's Spring Break Product Guide 2010

We had fun flipping through MTV's Spring Break Product Guide.  It's heavy on t-shirts and the new H&M Garden Collection; but that's okay by us.  There's always room for another cool t in our drawer and H&M will forever tempt us with their cheap treasures.  The standout of the product guide is this lightweight motorcyle jacket from H&M.  We definitely could have used this for the cool nights on our recent trip to the W Hotel South Beach!

awesome movie poster friday - the GONZORIFFIC edition!

If John Waters and Russ Meyer had a baby, and that baby became a bunch of people and those people made horror movies, they would be Gonzoriffic. If you'll recall (and I know you will), we had Gonzo's Andrew Shearer, Monica Puller, and Rachael Deacon on the completely manic first episode of The Scare-ening.

From their headquarters in Athens, GA, the Gonzo crew makes microbudget films that are funny, gory, and best of all, girl-positive. They make movies without pretension simply because they love making movies- an attitude that's increasingly hard to come by in the indie horror scene, where everyone wants to be famous. None of the Gonzo women call themselves Scream Queens- even though some of them have appeared in more than ten films. I like the way these kids think! Thing is, no matter how I feel about their philosophies or their films, I wouldn't feature Gonzorrific for Awesome Movie Poster Friday unless their productions had...well, awesome posters. Lucky for us they do, proving that microbudget doesn't mean megacrap- also proving that indie horror posters can completely wipe the floor with unimaginative, over-Photoshopped studio output.

Loving Beyonce's New Hairstyle

Contributed by Daily Makeover's Amber Katz

Sultry songstress Beyonce Knowles loves to switch up her hairstyle. This time, she was spotted rocking a messy mane of center-parted voluminous waves. We still see deeper brunette locks peeking out from under a sunburst of lighter highlights gracing the top layers. We wonder how she got those bangs to grow out so perfectly, so quickly. The in-between stage of bangs when hair doesn't know whether to classify itself in the layers or bangs category can drive any even-keeled gal nuts. Perhaps it's the magic of faux-bangs.

What do you think of Beyonce's new hairstyle? Love it or hate it?

Related Links:
Splurge vs. Save Skin Care:
Interview with Francois Nars:
Return of the Bowl Haircut

On Our Radar: Vieques, Puerto Rico

It's on our must-go list for 2010 and now it's time! The W Vieques Retreat and Spa opened yesterday. We still haven't seen any official photos of the property, but the beach and those crystal clear waters, above, are reason enough to go. And the renderings are pretty seductive, too. That's the Living Room bar below.

and a Mega guest room. Even the smaller--and smallest that the W Vieques offers--Wonderful rooms are an impressive 560 square feet.

You can snorkel, dive, surf, kayak and more on the secluded island, that's a short plane flight from San Juan. Just how secluded is the island? Visitors weren't allowed on from World War II until 2003 when it was a U.S. naval base. And only 3 percent of Caribbean travelers had ever even heard of it. So just imagine how pristine those beaches are!

Foodies will love the Alain Ducasse Mix restaurant. Here's hoping it lives up to the hype better than Mr. Chow's did at the W South Beach.

The W Vieques has a special Who's the Ulitmate Insider Package for travel before June 1 that includes a room for $289/night and two cocktails in the W Airport Lounget. For another option, book the  Worldwide Wow Package before 5/1. Included in the WWP package are:

• 2 Welcome Cocktails in W Lounge
 at the airport
• Daily breakfast at miX on the beach

• Sunset Champagne Ritual for 2
• Baba au Rhum – A signature Alain Ducasse dessert

• Exclusive Jane Marvel for W Retreat and Spa ‘Sunshine’ beach bag

• Upgrade to a Mega room

JSG is Quoted on USA Today.com

We're so thrilled to have made it on to Barbara De Lollis's Hotel-Check In blog, sharing our story about finding a mouse in our hotel room minibar a few years back. Yes, we screamed! Surprisingly, the story has a happy ending.

Read Have You Spotted a Rat in a Hotel Lately for the whole sordid tale.

The Best Workout for Killer Arms

Just yesterday morning, we were chatting with our friend Robyn about the best way to get toned arms: We both agree, nothing gives you arms to rival Michelle Obama’s like yoga. There’s something about all those chatarungas (a modified push up) and upward and downward facing dogs that builds biceps and triceps like no other exercise we’ve tried—including lifting weights (we’re talking 5-8 pounders). And you know you need those killer arms for upcoming spring break sundresses and halter tops!

If you’re new to yoga and live in NYC, a great way to lose your yoga-virginity is to head to the YogaWorks Soho this Saturday for “Get Your Dance On”. The night features DJ Dhundee at the "shoe and spectator free" dancing area. If you’re more into chilling out, lounge on a pillow and enjoy cello and dijeridoos players or sweat it out in the sauna.  HobNob wine, Divine Chocolate and Katalyst Kombucha will be served. (Just don’t drink and sauna!) Included in the $20 ticket price (for newcomers) is a free week of yoga at the studio. Already a YogaWorks members? Entry to GYDO is just $10. All proceeds go to Housing Works.



Don’t live in NYC? Try one of the YogaWorks DVDs at home.

"I hate a guy with a car and no sense of humor."

Have You Entered Yet?

We're giving away the AMAZING new Physician's Formula Healthy Wear Collection makeup (It's SPF 50!) AND the new Shimmer Strips Custom Eye Enhancing Gel Eyeliners. Trust us--we don't use the word amazing lightly--you want to win this!!

Read on form more info about the JSG/Physician's Formula giveaway!

a few of my favorite things

On things and the having of things, I am torn. I'm not materialistic and I try not to buy things I don't need or things that are not useful. I have a fuck ton of movies, but my excuse is that I write about movies. Still, I'm a trader-inner of video games, movies, and books as I'd rather have a few that I love rather than a bunch I never touch. But! I have some horror-related things around that I truly adore- things that may be replaceable, but I'd be a bit devastated if they disappeared from my life. I'm a little bit ashamed of feeling that way about stuff, but then again perhaps it's okay to enjoy things. Oh, how the battle rages within my soul! Anyway. Here are the horror-related things I love most in this workaday world, because I feel like making a list and being self-indulgent. Hooray!

1. My beloved Freddy Krueger candle

This thing is so ridiculous, but his beefy lips and Chiclet teeth make my day every time I see them. Given to me by a friend who would not (or could not) divulge where he got it.

2. Secrets in the Shadows: The Art & Life of Gene Colan

I saved up my pennies to nab a copy of this limited-edition hardcover (1000 copies)! The amazing Gene Colan took sketch requests for about 50 people, and I was one. The gorgeous Dracula above is inside the cover. Da-rool.

3. The Polaroid of me and Adrienne Barbeau

Met her at a signing for her autobiography There Are Worse Things I Could Do and she was so damn nice. It's a totally goofy picture and we had fun taking it- two people holding a giant Polaroid camera always makes for a lovely time. And yes, my face really is that yellow.

4. The tape of my interview with Marilyn Burns

Aside from the pure delight at sitting in a hotel room talking with Marilyn fucking Burns, this interview was a personal milestone in a few ways: first, I'm fairly sure this was the first face-to-face interview I'd done with anyone (save the one with my gramma for my 7th grade Social Studies class). Second, though it originally appeared in a Q & A format on Pretty/Scary, a revamped, rewritten, and longer version of the interview was published in Sirens of Cinema magazine, marking my first foray into the magical world of "print". I tape over interviews after I've transcribed them, but this one I'll keep. And yes, I use cassettes. I love showing up at roundtables and plunking down my big-ass Radio Shack tape recorder amidst the micro-sized, fancy mp3 recorders the kids use today.

5. My copy of Fangoria #10

I talked about this puppy way back when I first started talking about the awesomeness of 1981. I've got a bunch of genre mags around, new and old, but Fango #10 kind of sums up my childhood relationship with horror. Gross pictures, cartoons, Hammer movies, slasher movies, Count Fango...I tells ya, it's magic with staples running down the spine.

6. My Black Christmas DVD...

...signed by Margot Kidder. At conventions (and, I suppose, elsewhere) autographs are fairly pricy. Because I am not rich, I tend to be both picky AND choosy about the ones I get. Way back before the remake was even a fart in the brain of whoever farted up that fart of a remake and Black Christmas was still kind of on the down-low, I handed her my DVD amidst all the Superman fans handing her pictures of Lois Lane to sign, and she was surprised anyone even remembered the movie. Say what? Black Christmas is the shit. I'd actually like to get it signed by the rest of the cast members, even Mrs. MacHenry, even though Marian Waldman is dead.

7. My Exorcist mini-poster...

...signed by Linda Blair. Again, yes I'll pay- it's Linda GD Blair! But what I love most about it is...well, look what I made her write. She's aces in my book. Of course, she always was, so I guess she's...more aces now.

8. My horror village

Because my mom is the raddest, she buys me retarded horror stuff, like this horror village. You know, it's like one of those Christmas villages, but this time it's (you guessed it) horror. There's Nancy's Elm Street house, Stately Leatherface Manor, the Dawn of the Dead mall...all kinds of cool stuff with little mini Jasons and Michaels and Leatherfaces and Hari Krishna zombies. We have them all lined up next to each other on a shelf so it looks like Freddy and Jason are neighbors. It's awesome and I love it.

9. Curtains on VHS

I've talked about this, too- a VHS copy of a mediocre (with a few fucking GREAT scenes) out-of-print slasher movie is one thing. A VHS copy of a mediocre (with a few fucking GREAT scenes) out-of-print slasher movie that you bought at Tori Spelling's yard sale is quite another. I'm still not sure that all really happened.

10. Tomb of Dracula #1-70

It took me a few years to assemble a complete run of Marvel's Tomb of Dracula, but dammit I did it in true comic nerd style, scrounging through boxes at shops and cons. A few issues are in stellar condition, a few are in crappy condition, but I don't care. It's the first complete run of anything I've ever collected (beyond, you know, a 10-issue run or whatevs), and it'll likely be the last. Meeting writer Marv Wolfman and artist Gene Colan and asking them to sign my copy of #69, the first comic I ever bought, was a thrill.

Well, there you go. I like some stuff I have...so sue me. Or tell me about things you have that you treasure so I don't feel so lame.